I know that I should use those dreams as dream signs or something, but I haven't gotten that far yet into lucidity, so...

Anyway, first dream. I very frequently dream of two of my ex-girlfriends. I honestly cannot stand them at all in real life (in fact, I haven't spoken to either of them ever since we broke up), but in my dreams... one of those always happen: 1. I'm dating them; 2. I want to date them; 3. they want to date me. It's all really confusing, cause even in my dreams I keep thinking "ugh, I hate her so much", but I still try to make things work.

A little background: the first ex, we dated from 2005 to 2008 (three years and six months). The second ex, from 2011 to 2012 (seven months). There have been a few times in my life where I've seriously considered committing suicide, and ALL of those times, I was dating one of them. So, when I wake up from one of those dreams, that feeling comes back a little and I'd REALLY like to make them stop.



Another recurring dream of mine is that I'm always running away and having to hide. I don't mind this much, I enjoy the adrenaline. But lately (for the past month or so), whenever I hide somewhere, they always find me. In the past, I could stand behind a chair and all was well (even if I was obviously very visible). Now, however, I hid under the ground (not underground... literally under the ground, as if the grass was a layer and, below it, there was a secret place), and I was still caught. It's starting to annoy me.

Any help would be deeply appreciated.