Thread: I'm so sick and tired of thinking all the time

I'm pretty sure i am an anxious ruminator by now..
I spend almost all of my waking time thinking/analyzing/worrying about things that seem important but in the end nothing really happens. All i end up doing is wasting my own energy and drain myself both mentally and emotionally, dwelling and analyzing everyday's problems constantly trying to feel safe. This might be me trying to create the illusion of control by constantly keeping tabs on everything that i have to maintain. All of this is purely speculation of course, but i'm sick and tired of it nonetheless.

Every single day, i wake up feeling quiet only to start thinking deeply all over again a few moments later. All of my worries and problems flood my head and i just spend my entire day thinking. When it's time to sleep is the only time when i can feel myself detaching myself from the constant nonsense i spew out in my head, and even that isn't always the case.

I'm tired of this nature i have, but i still don't know where i should start if i want to fix this problem. I really wish that i could live daily life with an emptier head so that i can actually start enjoying the moment instead of being anxious all the time.

The two things i know about are meditation and mindfulness, but i feel like i don't know how to do them without draining myself mentally. They both feel forced and maybe not even so relaxed, and even then, even though i have been meditating for quite a while, this nature of mine hasn't changed for what i hoped to be a more mindful and relaxed mind.

Any suggestions? Any other people who used to be like this?
I figure that mindfulness is an answer, but i can't piece together how i'm supposed to keep it up all day long without tiring myself. I've tried it in the past but it all feels forced and tiring to maintain.

Think of thinking obsessively as a temptation.

Think of resistance to giving in to temptation as a weight.

Think of your self-control as the muscle you will use to lift this weight.

Think of meditation and mindfulness as exercise for your self-control muscle.

Think of the length of time of the meditation or mindfulness exercise as the amount of time you are exercising.

Think about starting small, finding the time of the mediation or mindfulness exercise that is slightly difficult, and gradually increase the time of the sessions as they become easier until you work up to an all day session.

Thanks for the suggestions, everyone.

Originally Posted by dolphin

Think of thinking obsessively as a temptation.

Think of resistance to giving in to temptation as a weight.

Think of your self-control as the muscle you will use to lift this weight.

Think of meditation and mindfulness as exercise for your self-control muscle.

Think of the length of time of the meditation or mindfulness exercise as the amount of time you are exercising.

Think about starting small, finding the time of the mediation or mindfulness exercise that is slightly difficult, and gradually increase the time of the sessions as they become easier until you work up to an all day session.

Well said. This is a good way to see that my attempts to be mindful 24/7 are hindered by the lack of practice, so i'm putting too much weight on my hands.
The gradual approach seems to be the best solution in this case. I have now dedicated my mindfulness to several activities that reoccur throughout the day and will expand this ground as i get used to things.

Originally Posted by BlueSunrise444

Hi Kuyarei

One thing you can try is meditating with a notepad, and try to write down all of your thoughts that occur, this would at least improve your self awareness of your thoughts. I have read that the goal of meditation is not necessarily to be thoughtless, but to improve self awareness whether you are thinking or not.

Another thing you can try is meditation binaural beats or isochronic tones which can help your brainwaves get into a meditative state.

Hope these help!

Interesting idea. I have already mentally noticed what my thoughts are generally about, and they seem to just be stray thoughts along with the occasional stressful worry that pulls me inwards. I will keep this in mind next time i meditate.

Originally Posted by LighrkVader

When someone thinks all the time they end up with nothing to think about but thoughts. And this endless chatter will eventually make you in one way disconected from the real world. Thoughts are of course not reality. They are useful symbols to depict reality. But here is a situation where the symbols are just looping in on themselves, deteriorating, depicting only themselves and not the real thing. Reality can not be put into words. So the real question you are asking is not, how do I stop thinking? You are asking, whether you know it or not, how to get back in touch. The answer is that it's the easiest thing in the world to do. Too easy... and that's why it's hard.

Do you think you'll be able to think your way out of it?

I may have misunderstood your message, so correct me if i'm wrong.
From what i understand, you are saying that i should learn how to be more connected with reality so that my thoughts don't cloud my awareness, which to me is another way to mention the use of mindfulness as opposed to being consumed by my internal chaos.

Hi Kuyarei

One thing you can try is meditating with a notepad, and try to write down all of your thoughts that occur, this would at least improve your self awareness of your thoughts. I have read that the goal of meditation is not necessarily to be thoughtless, but to improve self awareness whether you are thinking or not.

Another thing you can try is meditation binaural beats or isochronic tones which can help your brainwaves get into a meditative state.

Hope these help!

When someone thinks all the time they end up with nothing to think about but thoughts. And this endless chatter will eventually make you in one way disconected from the real world. Thoughts are of course not reality. They are useful symbols to depict reality. But here is a situation where the symbols are just looping in on themselves, deteriorating, depicting only themselves and not the real thing. Reality can not be put into words. So the real question you are asking is not, how do I stop thinking? You are asking, whether you know it or not, how to get back in touch. The answer is that it's the easiest thing in the world to do. Too easy... and that's why it's hard.

Do you think you'll be able to think your way out of it?

Yeah. I guess but that's not really helpful is it. You allready know about that, that's the first thing we learn about these things.

It was I guess getting into the meaninglessness of all that thought. It's not real. It's like drawings of drawings of drawings at this point... If you look back and realize that you were comsumed in thoughts about thoughts when you did the things in the past that you're still thinking about today. And likewise, that you were consumed in thoughts about thoughts while you aquired the experience you use to simulate the future that you're worried about today. Then it is natural to ask yourself and try to find out what would have been the result of being more present?

The more you can see that I think maybe the easier it is to let it go and get back into the natural flow, and looking more directly at the real thing...

Hey Kurayei. I feel ya. I used to have a massive problem with over-thinking. I just couldn't stop thinking. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't make clear decisions, I got depressed and anxious all the time.

But all that changed when I discovered Advaita Vedanta.
Wow, just wow... It is so incredibly simple, but soooo powerful. Unbelievably powerful, considering how simple it is.

After some time now, I've come a long way towards mastery of it, so I now guide people there.
I recently posted a thread introducing the practice: https://www.dreamviews.com/beyond-dr...roduction.html

If you want, check out the thread. I feel I can make it even simpler to understand, so I'll be editing the thread soon. But still that thread contains everything you need to achieve a state of no-mind. Just keep a close eye out for the thing it points at. This is a very simple pointing, but you need pay attention to catch what it's pointing to. Once you catch it, ROLL WITH IT.
Note that mind is still there, thoughts will still be there, but you will no longer be WITH the thoughts. The thoughts will pass in front of you like clouds, and over time, you can allow thoughts to die out, if you wanted to.

If you do decide to check this out, then just remember I'm still there to guide you, so just post in the thread if you have any questions.

I have made an effort to stop thinking so intensly for yesterday and it turned out a lot more liberating by the end of it. I still have to consciously do this though, but i can see this becoming a habit with enough practice put into it.

Originally Posted by slash112

Hey Kurayei. I feel ya. I used to have a massive problem with over-thinking. I just couldn't stop thinking. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't make clear decisions, I got depressed and anxious all the time.

But all that changed when I discovered Advaita Vedanta.
Wow, just wow... It is so incredibly simple, but soooo powerful. Unbelievably powerful, considering how simple it is.

After some time now, I've come a long way towards mastery of it, so I now guide people there.
I recently posted a thread introducing the practice: https://www.dreamviews.com/beyond-dr...roduction.html

If you want, check out the thread. I feel I can make it even simpler to understand, so I'll be editing the thread soon. But still that thread contains everything you need to achieve a state of no-mind. Just keep a close eye out for the thing it points at. This is a very simple pointing, but you need pay attention to catch what it's pointing to. Once you catch it, ROLL WITH IT.
Note that mind is still there, thoughts will still be there, but you will no longer be WITH the thoughts. The thoughts will pass in front of you like clouds, and over time, you can allow thoughts to die out, if you wanted to.

If you do decide to check this out, then just remember I'm still there to guide you, so just post in the thread if you have any questions.

Thanks for the suggestion, but i don't really feel like it's for me at the moment. I will check it out later if i feel like it.

Originally Posted by appdirect

Have you tried chanting a mantra in your mind? that could replace your thoughts.

Maybe not exactly a mantra, but the term "Intrustive thoughts" is something i often use to shift my attention away from certain negative thoughts.
I haven't explored mantras that serve as distractions since i can't really come up with something to say as of now. I do see that categorizing thoughts is a good way to lessen pointless thinking, seeing as this method is generally what vipsanna meditation requires you to do.

Originally Posted by slash112

But all that changed when I discovered Advaita Vedanta.
Wow, just wow... It is so incredibly simple, but soooo powerful.

Just wondering, is that all about reaching universal consciousness? Or a state of kundalini? Not that I really get what either are. I had a go just now trying to understand the concept you were trying to get across but all that perception made my head hurt lol!

Have you tried chanting a mantra in your mind? that could replace your thoughts.

I can relate a lot to the OP. Similar cycles of thought keep repeating. One thing that helps me meditate and calm my mind is going for walks. Someone ones told me that walking helps stimulate the brain to have bilateral movement. So it gets the hemispheres of the brain working together. Plus, looking at the sky, seeing squirrels and trees, and feeling the wind pulls me out of my head. It doesn't eliminate all symptoms but it reduces them. Some days when I am 100% mired in mind activity it can get me down to 75%. And on good days, I can feel really good from a walk.

Also you might see people around the nieghborhood which will definitely pull you into the moment. HAving to interact with a real life physical person kicks up all these emotions for me and pulls me out of my head.

I have my best meditations after taking a walk because I think my brain is balanced, and my body got the work it needed to be nice and calm.

Also sometimes if you can't suprress or shut off the thoughts, finding someone to talk to can help. Like a friend, or for me, because I am a really isolated person, I talk out loud to myself, or "the air" or what ever you call it. Some people call it praying but I grew up with a lot of weird rigid rules about how to "pray" so I don't call it that all the time. But I just talk out loud, to a voice recorder, or the air. And that helps get the thoughts up and out.

I have still been stuck on some issues for years but I can tell that some have reached some resolution.

So those would be my tips for this. Walking and talking.

But I really appreciate just the honesty and open ness of your post because it is such a good description of what some of us go through with this busy mind. And yes it is absoluately a form of suffering. There are lots of people who want to shut off their mind. They drink, do drugs, smoke cigrattes, over eat, take sleeping pills, watch TV until they pass out, and do lots of other risky or dangerous things all to get their mind to stop. I am not saying that to judge them harshly because some people have accumulated more damage throughout this life through no fault of their own.

But if you are trying to deal with your mind in a healthy or "skillful" way then that shows you are actually in a very good place.

Oh yeah another thing I do is write with both hands back and forth. There could be a lot of personalities within "one brain" and writing with both hands helps access either hemisphere of the brain's voices one at a time. Writing with my opposite hand has also helped get me out of my head a lot.

Hope this helped if it wasn't too much to read!


EDIT = my last thing would be please try not to blame yourself or beat yourself up for when this condition worsens. If you can develop a detached but caring awareness of your mind as a whole, including how busy it is or isn't, then your mind can be totally free to run at 10000GHZ or 10HZ. And it won't affect the deeper you. It might not be healthy to try to entireley make your mind an enemey but you can look at some aspects of your mind as alien influence if it helps. That's why I'm saying don't blame yourself. There is a lot of overstimulation in the world so its not your fault to have arrived at a moment of finding yourself this way.

Hope its alright but I had some more thoughts.

#41485 - Grounding in electrically

I heard this originally from Robert Monroe in regards to out of body experiences. But it relates to thought because thinking is a lot like an out of body experience. For those of us always in our heads, it is like a dissociation where we are always "out of body" in some sense. So R M's advice was to go outside and put your back up against a tree. It is supposed to ground in the excess electrical energy. I do this once in a while and I can't always tell a big difference but who knows.

# 13509358 = Let go of little thoughts first

Big thoughts can be harder to let go of all at once. Big debates in your mind over big issues that you are really into or stuff like that. But try to notice when there is a little thought you can let go of. Like this morning, I was stresseing to cram more stuff in the dish washer, but afraid it wouldn't all get washed if I put things too far in. So I just fit what seemed easy to fit and said I'll put the rest in the next load. So look for the tiniest thoughts you strain over and try to let go of those first. And I'm just saying "try" because if you can't, thats okay too.

# 1359833013 = make friends with your mind

Look at your mind like a constant source of activity and information. Like an IPOD that will never run out of battery, that you get to listen to all day! Just like with dreams, if you start making your thoughts feel like they matter to you, then you will start having a good relationship with your mind. (Which is totally possible because I like my mind a lot more than I did 7 years ago when I even realized I had a mind)

I don't know exactly what your thought patterns are, but lets say THOUGHT PATTERN B comes on. You can be like, "Oh, THOUGHT PATTERN B is on the radio! I've heard a lot of this before, but maybe it has a new twist at the end." And then, THOUGHT PATTERN W cuts in. "Oh, THOUGHT PATTERN W! My favorite song!" But you don't 100% control it. Just like dreams, you are not 100% the producer and director.

(And that alone, giving up the need to be the director, has helped me a lot. )

# 41385 (edit) = try another language

Chances are most of your thoughts are in your native language. So try learning a whole new language. Don't over do it, but just memorize some simple phrases. This can also be a fun way to generate mantras for "freestyle meditation"

The reason TM is so helpful is that it uses "Meaningless Sound" as the mantra, not exactly "words". This way the mind doesn't get caught up in the meaning of the mantra. I couldn't afford TM yet, so I got my own "meaningless sounds" (to me) from other languages for when I wanted to try that.

# 5235908 - Thanks!

For posting this because it was fun to write all the stuff I wrote. Having a mind can be a joy!

Originally Posted by Charles3

Hope its alright but I had some more thoughts.

#41485 - Grounding in electrically
# 13509358 = Let go of little thoughts first
# 1359833013 = make friends with your mind
# 41385 (edit) = try another language
# 5235908 - Thanks!

I appreciate the replies, and you're welcome.
So far on my attempts to quieten myself, i found things to be simpler than i thought. I don't really see the necessity of more technical methods right now. Being so used to a busy and stressful thought process blinded me from seeing the complete unnecessity of what i was doing. I had to let this sink in for a little bit, the fact that none of my efforts at tiring myself out by thinking so hard have really made much differences in the end.

Looking back on my life, i can see that none of these really mattered. I sat down, i circled around talking to myself, i stressed, worried, got anxious, and ran myself dry several times.. But really, none of this made a difference. What mattered was what i was going to do about things, and most of the times i did this i really had no control over the things i was worrying about. It's only just the second day of my less-thinking plan, but i've seen more calm and relaxation in these two days than i've seen for the past few months combined. I do dedicate a short amount of time every morning/night to actually think about what i have to do tomorrow or today, and it turns out that i don't really have that much to worry about anyway. Even the things that i have to do, don't require this insane amount of worrying/thinking.

In the end of it, i'm yet to really get myself quietened down, but things are going smoother than i thought. I am trying to keep this up decently enough and consistently enough so that it becomes a habit later on and i attain some peace of mind at last. For the time being, i'm taking it gradual and slow. It's working, and that's one thing i'm glad to see.

I recommend learning Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It gives you techniques and practices for getting control of your emotions when they get crazy as well as long term methods for awareness, control, and effectiveness in difficult relationships. This is one of the main therapeutic techniques used for people exposed to high stress situations and people who can't control their emotions, like cutters. I think it's one area of psychology everyone should be aware of. Some of it is obvious, but some of it isn't and it's helpful to have all the technique under one framework you can remember and use for your particular situation. In short, it sounds like the exact thing you're needing. This is a question about meditation/mindfulness and it's one of the major components of DBT.
DBT is basically four things:

1. Distress tolerance
2. Mindfulness
3. Emotion regulation
4. Interpersonal skills

You can easily do this on your own with The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook which I highly, highly recommend.

I think you are taking the correct route by practicing meditation every day. Mindfulness meditation is practicing just focusing on your breathing. Taking long deep breaths. When thoughts come up which they inevitably will, don’t judge them or get frustrated by them, just acknowledge them and get back to focusing on your breathing. This will help you be more focused in the moment during the day as long as you continue to practice it every day. The skill of just letting your thoughts go without judgement is eventually what will help you do the same during the day. A distracting thought will come up but you will simply let it go as you have been practicing in your meditations. The skill in mindfulness meditation is not to think of nothing, it is to stay focused on one single thing at a time.

Also what you can do regularly through the day (start off doing this several times during the day when you are NOT anxious or distracted by your thoughts) is just check in on your breathing. Is it slow and deep, or shallow and fast? By intentionally slowing down your breathing you will also slow down your thoughts and bring on a sense of calm. The reason you should practice checking in with yourself regularly and when you are more relaxed is that when we are stressed or busy with our thoughts we forget to focus in on our breathing. But if you practice this regularly during the day, then you are more likely to remember to use this as a strategy at more anxious moments.

Another thing you can do is learn some grounding techniques that help to manage the energy flow around your body. There are plenty of resources on the internet.

Hope this helps.