Thread: Sex with a friend

Have you ever had regular sex with someone who is also your friend in everyday life?
I personally find this idea strangely hot and exciting, but it feels like it is too risky.
I mean, isn't it extremely likely that at least one person will start to get feelings for the other person?
I have heard of people who only meet for sex and nothing else, and I can see this working quite well, but with a full-time friend...?
That sounds really tricky to me.
I believe I have even heard of people who have been fairly intimate with a friend as well, like making out and smiling together, watching a movie in bed while carressing each other etc, and that sounds like it would make everything even trickier.
I actually once got much stronger feelings for a girl I wasn't really in love with simply because we had sex - and I definitely started to get feelings for her when we lay and smiled kindly to each other for a long while afterwards.
So what are your opinions on this?
I can sometimes find myself flirting with girls I know as friends, but I am careful to avoid making it any more "serious" than that, since it feels like one of us is just going to get heartbroken in the end.
I am thinking that if you like each other enough to be friends, then sex and intimate evenings together should certainly make you fall in love very easily.

What's so awful about falling in love?

Originally Posted by Mzzkc

What's so awful about falling in love?

It depends.
What I meant is that sex with a friend feels risky in the sense that probably only one of the persons involved will develop feelings, and that might ruin the friendship.
The optimal scenario is of course if both perons fall in love with each other, but that may not happen.

I have a feeling that having regular sex with someone you also often meet as a friend will inevtiably end with some kind of romantic feelings that are not returned, so is it actually worth it?

Every time I tried that, one of us fell in love with the other. But in most cases we were still able to be friends again after. With minimal awkwardness hehe. There was one case where we were friends for almost 10 years, with on again off again sex, and the last time he said he loved me but I had just started to date another guy. Never spoke to me again. Just depends on the person's resilience when facing heartache in a friendship.

Like Ophelia mentioned, I imagine it all depends on each person's resilience to heartache.

So...don't have sex with a friend if you know either one of you doesn't handle rejection well?

Or you two could just play video games together and maybe order a pizza. To each their own. XP

Probably depends on the person and their view on sex. If you are both the kind of people who are okay with casual sex, then it might work out just find. If you have never had casual sex that didn't mean much, then it is harder to tell.

Of course it is a two part issue. Can you both have casual sex without developing feelings, and then if you do develop feelings can you resolve them in a mature manner. If you can do either, you are probably fine. You need to be a mature person to deal with this kind of stuff though.

Originally Posted by Alric

Probably depends on the person and their view on sex. If you are both the kind of people who are okay with casual sex, then it might work out just find. If you have never had casual sex that didn't mean much, then it is harder to tell.

Of course it is a two part issue. Can you both have casual sex without developing feelings, and then if you do develop feelings can you resolve them in a mature manner. If you can do either, you are probably fine. You need to be a mature person to deal with this kind of stuff though.

Yes, exactly this.

When I have done this it takes a very special kind of person/relationship to work with it without messing things up for either of you. It worked for me a few times, but it required a lot of communications.

i think everyone should start having sex with their friends. the more friends, the merrier.

If you want mine opinion, a friend should be a trusted companion whom you support when they have troubles, and whom will support you in return. Not someone you pump and dump. Honestly, I think people in general use the word "friend" in far too cavalier a fashion. [Shrugs] But perhaps I'm in the minority here.

Thank you, monsieur, for strengthening the foundation of mine cynicism.

I don't know...sex with a friend sounds good, until the part where you mentioned, just being friends. I'm not sure if I can do that. I've had a casual sexual relationship with a girl for a few months, and it never felt right because I wanted more. And honestly, the sex didn't feel so good. I'm not sure if it was because it lacked intimacy or the fact we were always not quite sober. Personally, If I found myself in some sort of sexual friendship, I would have to eventually say "okay, where is this going?". Too me, it's just weird to commit my body to someone in that way and then talk about random stuff.

I've had something similar to this over the internet, but it's still a lot more intimate IMO. I don't even know where I'm going with this post, but this thread is interesting.

Yeah, I have and it's a story that I very rarely share just cause of what we said to eachother about in when we were young, and this is the first time it was public, there are people that could see this that it could completely make them really pissed off at me (but people whom I dont really care what they think anymore) I'm not naming names or anything so nobody gets revealed and i put my two cents in!

We met when we were five years old, and we're still close as shit friends today we did shit together, I think we may have been in love at some point, but he was almost 100% straight (aside from me, he told me I was the sole male he's ever been attracted to, he's with a girl now) and I was deeply in the closet, so we didn't know how to express that I guess, maybe it's why I've had such shitty luck in relationships to this day. But we started doing things sexual without removing clothes when we were like 11-12, and we were having sex by 14 (but we both agreed that we both kept our virginity, again as we were deeply closeted, think what you will of that but that's why I don't feel bad about telling my first boyfriend that I was a virgin); for a while we both felt guilty and shit about it and just stopped, but it was like an every sleepover kinda thing.

We only stopped for like a year or so, we slowly got back into it and we were again engaging in sexual activity almost daily now, unless he had a girlfriend. To this day we remain amazing friends with absolutely zero awkwardness and talk about our other sexual exploits with eachother, different people can tolerate different things imo, in some cases we'd probably never speak again.

I think it's bad polarity and prolly just 2 people helping eachother masturbate instead real heavy sex. It depends on the person though

Originally Posted by Yuusha

Have you ever had regular sex with someone who is also your friend in everyday life.

The answer is yes and on a regular basses.

I am very open when it comes to who I have sex with. Indeed, I consider myself engaged but I still do sexual and lustful related things with my friends. My fiancé is ok with it and actually encourages me to mate with whomever I feel like, so do my friends. There is no jealousy or hatred that is caused by it. And just like my friends who are also open to free intercourse, sex to us is something we do as a way of "hanging out" and having a good time with a friendly activity.

Being open about sex is a reason as to how I have gotten the friends that I have now. It's something we can relate to, share, enjoy and express to one another without the feeling of regret. I couldn't be in a relationship which would require me to only do sexual things with that one person.

This kind of lifestyle is not for everyone! But it's how I choose to live and I'm happy having that freedom. Sex in my opinion, based on experiences and such, isn't subjected to only monogamous and "romantic" relationships.