Hi, I'm new here (obviously) and I have tons to ask you all about my experiences with lucid dreaming and other aspects of dreams. First off, I would like to commend the people who keep this site going because you have an incredible amount of members and there always seems to be a lot going on.
So, I am 15 and have been able to lucid dream for awhile now, but more recently haven't been trying because my dreams have been so good. I have REALLY bad depression/anxiety and possibly PTSD, but my dreams have been sort of trying to compensate with that. I have always felt that dreams feel more "real" than waking life because they are so much more vivid and pretty much sensory overload.. I don't know how to describe it, but life just seems very dull. Everything seems the same all the time--patterned and repetitive. Things seem to be so much more outstretched, infinite, crazy, bewildering, and unexplored in my dreams. I very rarely dream about normal things. There are rarely people I know in my dreams, and I am not always conscious of myself, or actually AM myself. I am always able to remember my dreams, which somehow seem to last for the whole night, occasionally feeling like I've spent months in that world. Needless to say, I feel very dissapointed and stirred when I wake up. I have often felt like real life isn't real, because it just seems to predictable and describable and small. When I am dreaming, it is always a different world. I don't have any of the typical "going to school and forgetting your pants" type dreams. I do, however, have sort of "snapshots" of little things that I am anxious about (i.e. leaving a document unsaved on the computer), and then am confused when I go to my computer, realize it is saved, and wonder why I thought it wasn't before I remember this "snapshot". I don't consider them dreams, though.
I have a photographic memory and remember things that happened a long time ago that I have never remembered before randomly sometimes as some sort of connection to a thought, or sound, or some other sense. I also do this with dreams like they are memories. I have very vivid pictures of books, too, which sort of have the same sense of my dreams, but more limited. I guess you could say that I have a hyper hyperactive imagination. I also tend to feel emotions much stronger than other people. I guess just like I have no limit to the amount I am terribly depressed and cry, I have no limit to the imagination I have. I don't mean this in an arrogant way, but when people say they aren't creative, or their favorite type of book is realistic fiction, I immediately do not understand them. How could someone not appreciate/have access to the amazing ways to escape out of this world? I also might have a slight bit of mirror-touch synesthesia (I can't help but wink when other people wink, sometimes feel some pain when watching a movie, etc.)
On the topic of lucid dreaming, I have had dreams within dreams and sometimes though I had woken up but really hadn't (which is incredibly scary, especially when things go wrong.) I don't know what category this is, but my ex-friend and her family have had dreams that came true. (One example being she had a dream about there being a pathway with a fork, going to the right and something bad happening. Days later they ended up hiking and reached a path identical to the one in her dream and she insisted on going the other way. They later realized that something [I]was[I] at the other end, though I forget what.) I also was camping with a girl with a girl who talked in her sleep once, and we were able to talk to her (even in French!) and convince her of things going on in her dreams.
I am constantly wondering why I don't have normal dreams. This is more of a mental health issue, but when I was about 8, I was a "solopsist", which means that I had this idea that only one's own mind exists and everything else is purely a figment of his/her imagination. I used to dismiss it as a silly thing a kid would think, but once I found out there was a word for it, I've gotten far more curious, especially as my depression kicked in (also at a young age). I am very observant and tend to notice things other people don't. I am also very good at predicting what will happen and following patterns. I easily guess the endings (or sometimes entire plots like with The Alchemist) of books/movies/TV. I think this might be relevant to how I can control my dreams. I get over-involved with things a lot. When I am watching a movie, for example, everything else seems to go away and I am never able to fall asleep or talk over it. I feel like I could pull my hair out right then, and it wouldn't matter because the story becomes my own reality in that moment. I get engrossed in things easily and it is hard to transition. I associate this with my complicated dreams and the pain it takes to get out of bed.
Occasionally, I have gone into a sort of dreamlike state while I am awake, and I do everything that I can to stay in it. I don't know much about that yet, though. It usually happens as a sort of coping skill when I am very depressed. It happens automatically.
I am currently starting a book (that I will hopefully finish) about dreams and how they can compensate for troubles in life. Maybe once I have posted longer on here and if people are interested, I will post it.
Sorry if this has been to detailed or too personal; I just wanted to get everything out in writing, and you guys seem pretty accepting. I hope this is all relevant, too. I guess this turned out to be a lot of weird analysis instead of a bunch of questions, but my main question through all of this is: can anyone relate? Do you guys feel like dreams are better than real life?

Thanks!

Also, what are the age demographics of this forum?


Edit: Indents won't work? Sorry for the big blob!