Thread: So.Here it is.What was it ? I need your help now.

I am trying to learn ld from few weeks.
I want WILD. Most difficult but in many places called as Holly Grail of lucid dream.
You know it cause i already wrote about it.
to be able to spontaneously without dream go into my subc.

I tried almost everyday, before sleep.In 11.00 a.m, 2.00 p.m, 5.00 p.m.

Tonight i was not sleepy.
I went to bed at about 23.00p.m. to be sleep i started to read some funny book.
In my mind was only (as from few days) "I WANT WILD, i want wild, why i can not have wild, i want wild i will do everything to have wild".
After 30 minutes i once yawned so i thought to myself "ok i am enough sleep so i have to sleep i must do wild".

Relaxing, trying nothing.
MAD as shit.Crazy thoughts why i can not have it why why why why.
(i did not sleep even one minute yet).
I eat one banana = melatonine so i have to have wild.i have to have it.
Ok so trying again:
this tech:
(Check Daily) Chilla's new techniques, tips and thoughts!!
CDILD.
(similar very similar to http://www.dreamviews.com/f12/simple...chnique-39869/)
But again shit - i can not force daydreaming, when i am lying in bed daydreaming is in some way blocked for me).
So i forced my full attention to imaging some place, imaging force whole will power into it, so much that i feel pain in my head and tension in muscles.
(only one thought "I HAVE TO,I MUST HAVE WILD TONIGHT").
So i felt tension in my legs so i thought ok i feel tension so i have to do relaxation, so i concentrate one of my thread in brain to imagining some place and second to concentrate attention (feel warm and heavy) into legs, arms, stomach neck, head .(FASTER i want to have wild, relax this shit faster you stupid brain).
Few seconds later: relaxed ok, warm legs, arms, nice feelings.
Noise in ears is starting to generate like metal rasping in glass,or like 50 glasses rubbing one another.
I concentrated more of my imagination to imagining some place as above (not concrete, some street with motorcycle).
Now i think - ok i heard noise so where is my SP. I want my SP.
I feel only warm and heaviness.
F this i will try to kill it, i will wake up from my bed.
(I DID NOT SLEEP any one minute before).

I waked up. I thought hmmmm smth is wrong.
I will check my watch.
but first i will turn around maybe i will see myslef on bed haha.
i saw only some purple color.
i checked watch : ok normal hour.
checked second time: shit digits jumping and moving and changing every second.
SHIT !!!!! why i am in my room i want to go out from here i dont want obe i want ld, SHIT move away back to my body you shit i want to go back.
panic, go back go back go back, teleport to another room.
nothing doesnt work, try to imagine smth another place - only colors starting to show but can not teleport. look at calendar - it is 2004.
I WANT TO GO BACK.
Only one thought in my mind - i want to go back to my body.
Super panic mode.
near window- snow outside.but we have summer now.
i went back to my bed.
tried to feel my body back.
maybe success - checking watch - no, digits still jumping.
SHIT what to do what to do.
Imagine smth another place - another room, try spinning around, teleport to another spinning body nothing.
i tried to imagine my spinning body in another room and feel like i am there - room started to show, slowly, i saw my body on bed.
TRANCE OUT.
zoom out.
END.
checked cellphone -time ok.
another one time ok.
I was happy as hell that i go out.
i felt like locked between bodies, between dimensions.
sticked,trapped in time.


back to my watch - i dont have watch near my bed.
I often have,i often think about having watch near my bed because i have iluminator and this is nice color when checking time, but those night i DID NOT has watch near my bed.But in this experience i had.


So few points.
What was that ?
I HAVE NOT SLEEP ANY SINGLE minute before.
whole experience was about 30 minutes.
When i wake up i dont felt like wake up from dream, just like close and open eyes.
No dizzy feeling nothing.
only fear and happiness.

Few seconds later my memories started to fade out.
I know that this what i wrote here is not even half of things what happened.

Why PANIC mode ?
why problems with teleporting ?
Why strange feeling that this was only dream and those thing did not happened ?
Now, while writing it i have feeling that it was dream, but inside me i feel that it was not.I remember NOISE (metal,glasss) and exiting.
Was it obe ?


Why i did not experience SP ?
only like in this post:
http://www.dreamviews.com/f20/trying...e-am-i-101707/

Originally Posted by kartogon

but only one thing - this heavy and warm feeling in hands and legs (and this feeling that i can not say where they are exactly) starts in 5 to 10 minutes max.

Really this was only this feeling.

No wave, nothing big.
Biggest = noise.almost pain in ears.

So my whole time in bed tonight was smth about 1 hour.
Impossible to have rem.

No more. i am to scared to go back to bed.
please write your opinion.
thank you.

+ weird thing, after opening eyes at end,after those experience - i literally felt, almost saw that memories from this experience are being erased, i like saw (difficult to say, loosing tracks, connections) them disappearing one after another.
I only have few now, i wrote them but i know there was at least 3x more.


I read so much about exiting, about being calm, i knew that i need to be calm, but i couldn't.
I failed.
Panic taken me.