I would like to think that I understand the issue. But first things first, good questions!

So all these "you" is essentially a form of roleplay. And once we find one aspect of ourselves, we will sooner or later discover the shadowside to that first found side (or the sunny side for that matter). To what we found ourselves to be. If we spend longer timeperiods in a certain role or "mode", we then stumble up on the very issue that is all about our inner balance. And that can be kind of a strain to find that as we project a role that we have sort of get stucked in for a while. So the best way to try to balance ourself to our environment is basically to try to gradually adapt to a role that you can find match best with what you interpret others to do/act in that environment. And then build from there, wheter you like to stay in that role or expand or tweek it even more in your own way. So you really dont need to lose "you", since it basically about learning new ways of being, and yet you always will have that inner knowing of who you are beyond your social role if you really want to.