OVERSEEING
Dreammouse, it looks like you start by seeing info about others' lives, maybe their dreams or fears, but can't find your own.
That makes sense if you're a mother, and focusing on family, so not seeing yourself enough.
So it may be you are focusing on others too much, ignoring yourself.
Or is it that you can't find your dream involving others??

YOUR DREAM
It looks like the dream you found was about others, as you were everyone.
You want to find your inner sanctum, and learn that, which might be your individuality, or helping others.
A robe is like wholeness. But maybe your inner light or seeing regarding this is small and fragmented, making you spin or have no control so there is a wall to your sanctum.
But given what happens at the end, this can be about thinking of others, as you do family, wanting to help them in a sort of holy or pure way.
Maybe you thought you can get to your sanctum this way. By service.

CHANGING
Maybe of your two choices of how to be then, you want that huge one but is in an old mess without power. Do you mean it has better storage room or storage of power? But both are more capacity. So this has more capacity or power.
Maybe you switch back to the other option but because it is just the kids has the meaning of this new you that you can become. The sanctum.
It would be the bigger active you which takes strength, and knowledge, and holy which means whole.
Maybe it's like you have to bully yourself to do this, and find the humility or find it humiliating. You feel the shame, maybe of neglecting yourself. If you nurture the family or see to others' needs, but not your own. Or maybe you'd feel like you are turning your back on family. Or feel the shame of not doing it before. So maybe you want all this that's in the way of this new you to end, but can just hit out at it. The violence is probably just your angry reaction probably. The frustration.

REGRET AND RISK
Maybe this makes you remorseful that you have not grown in this way, and shocked but grateful you can now, I think. That's why the female was unconscious; it has to go to sleep or end in those ways to gain this. But it seems risky and like you can hurt others - the family or those you help. Or you don't want trouble for them, or maybe you. So maybe you thought to let this guide and guard you rather than pursue it further.
You give up the idea of fully following this dream. Maybe you feel you must as a mother and wife. So maybe you resort to going back and forth where you will not grow or when life seems barren but have the protection of this inner guidance. Or do you mean to help people and protect them when life is like that for them?

THE OUTCOME
But the next bit was working anew again, at this, perhaps seeing the multiple viewpoints of others as you do, or being mindful of them, in this new way. So it's like a start, or potential. But, oh dear, maybe you were a chicken. Sorry, especially if I'm wrong. Maybe you chose others over you again. It could feel hard and cold is all I can say. Unless a chicken means propagation or fertility, as in lots of eggs or what you can warmly hatch. Maybe the protection of others. But it's not alive. That fits the desert. What we want most is to be alive and feel it, someone wise said. But it might be the desert others can be in. A chicken is a mother. It may mean both. Only you can know.
Yes you may feel like The Queen who has such responsibility over her domain or with others, which explains that wired web over everything.
Or a noble regal figure, who is in command.

____________
THE NEXT DAY
Yes perhaps such a stature as Christ represents how great this new you was relative to you. He was the most independent figure in history. And the emotions how opposite that chicken or how alive, as he was also the most alive man on earth.
He also died, and had to to fulfill his mission. But of course mainly he helped, or saved, others.
About that book you got, 'The Hospice of the good shepherd.' Hospice is the care and end of life support. The book "presents Hospice of the Good Shepherd in Backford, England. Discusses care philosophy, medical services, volunteering, and the staff." Does this mean you want to give to that cause? And that is what Christ means?
You may feel your life is partly like that desert, and that part of you has to die to fulfill yourself.
Or the desert may mean when other's are dying, to help them across to the other side.
How much of this fits I don't know.