Thread: Any Dream Control Tips?

I think that at any given time during the dream, the more relevant our mind considers something to be at the present moment, the more likely we are to dream about that something at that moment. So, I think if we don't want to dream about something, we have to find a way to consider that something to be irrelevant to us during the dream. The most direct way to consider something to be irrelevant is to ignore it or otherwise act as if that something doesn't matter.

Originally Posted by LuciddreamerXX

In a lucid dream I was with my brother. I invited some girls to the room we was in. I feared that I was going to get rejected in the dream. The emotion was so strong that the girls avoided me and went to my brother. There were two girls in the room. During the dream I started to feel jealous and woke up before another girl entered the room. I know lucid dreaming is all about expectations but I find it extremely hard to control my emotions. Any dream control tips to avoid this please?

Even though you were lucid, this dream was trying to tell you something. It sounds to me like you may have unprocessed feelings of rejection from a psychological wound. My advice would be to process these feelings by letting them go through you, rather than getting lost in it and reacting, or avoiding the feeling entirely. Just acknowledge it, sit with it, and it will pass eventually. Maybe you can remember a time when you were rejected (a parent or other very close family member?), and work through those memories to finish processing the emotion. Although, there's always a scar, so don't expect 100% resolution. Also, it could take a long time, depending on how deep the wound is, and whether you can get to the root (what seems like the root is often just a replication of the original wounding).

You can take Dolphin's advice to have a lucid dream experience that's more to your liking, but, this problem won't go away. It won't ever go away until you figure it out and process it.

Hey, welcome to the forum.. gratz on your first post!

This comes down to dream control which is a big topic so I will just cover some of the basics. Increasing your level of awareness (aka lucidity) helps in attaining more control, which can be done consciously through effort/will/intention (or mindfulness...), or other techniques such as spinning, falling backwards or verbal commands - imagine dragon shouts in Skyrim but in English (or Latin, maybe Elder Dragon if you know it) then command the dream "INCREASE LUCIDITY" or "INCREASE AWARENESS" you can add x100% you make the rules here not me, this is your dream. It takes practice, effort and determination to master different abilities within a dream, and even more to master our own mind and emotions, or to master your self. Each person is different in what they consider easy or hard to do. Ultimately, it comes down to just about every quote you heard in the film "The Matrix" namely from the wise teacher, guide and mentor known as Morpheus: "you've got to let it all go... fear, doubt and disbelief... free your mind" and "don't think you can, know you can" to understand just how relevant it is to dreaming. Dreams are shaped around our ideas, beliefs and expectations, so if you lack any sort of belief or have even the slightest doubt in expectation or let fear creep in for just a second, then your level of control will also be lacking.

Like MoonageDaydream mentioned, you may have some repressed feelings to deal with and the dreamworld is a perfect place to resolve them. I once used to have such a strong fear of tidal waves, that I couldn't go near a beach, river or lake in a lucid dream. If I happened to come across even the smallest puddle of water, the thought alone of "tidal wave" or "tsunami" would end up in exactly that (I know, ridiculous). I went about trying many ways to face and overcome this fear, and mastered many tricks and abilities along the way. Fear of drowning was never the issue, as I could always breathe underwater like a natural built-in response (the physical body still in bed breathing right? exactly). The fear was more associated with real-life catastrophizing, in that I was afraid of a tidal wave one day wiping out civilization and me along with it.
It wasn't until a good friend of mine mentioned that emotions are like the ocean, they are like the waves which rise and fall with the tide, currents and moon.... (hey Moonage ). So I started learning how to manage and control my emotions that would come up in the lucid dream, after having the inevitable thought "tidal wave" it absolutely amazed me how well this worked. Instead of letting the emotion flow out uncontrollably, I calmed it, tamed it if you will... turned the waves of emotion into gentle ripples on a pond instead of letting it rampage uncontrollably as destructive force.

There is a fantastic short video on youtube where Bruce Lee imparts this beautiful life advice in a simple analogy (which also applies in martial arts as a visualization technique for stabilization and flowing momentum against your opponent)



Funnily enough Morpheus is an ancient greek god associated with sleep and dreams. So it would be wise to seek his council, and try this experiment if you are up to it: https://www.dreamviews.com/research/...xperiment.html
... and I'm sure Bruce Lee wouldn't be afraid to show up and help you if you encounter any troubles along the way

Love that video, Eonnn. Too cool

Some other good video's in my group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/masteryofthyself
Can add you if you like, but I'm off to see Morpheus now, wish me luck!

Originally Posted by LuciddreamerXX

In a lucid dream I was with my brother. I invited some girls to the room we was in. I feared that I was going to get rejected in the dream. The emotion was so strong that the girls avoided me and went to my brother. There were two girls in the room. During the dream I started to feel jealous and woke up before another girl entered the room. I know lucid dreaming is all about expectations but I find it extremely hard to control my emotions. Any dream control tips to avoid this please?

One thing you will find is that early on in lucid dreaming your brain will reject events it finds out of sorts with waking reality. As an example I was not able to fly for many dreams because to my mind people stick to the ground. I was however able to jump. Jumping my mind could handle. Jumping extra far was not so hard to picture. I could eventually jump over cars and bound down the street. This lead to my mind accepting me being able to jump up into the air high enough to jump atop buildings. When my mind accepted jumping over buildings it was not so far away from believing I could fly.
I am going to make a guess about you in real life. My guess is that you are not familiar with dating and touching women? For say a married man it is no stretch to have sex with a dream image of your wife, but for someone with no experience the brain may reject the idea. Let's go with the idea that this may be your problem. If your mind just can not picture a girl coming to you and letting you touch her, can you work on this like I did with flight? What would be the equivalent to my jumping? How about if you do not expect sex and instead only intend that she is going to help you look for something. You see a girl and ask for help finding your cat. That is not so hard to believe. Next maybe get a dream girl hug you. Perhaps you pretend you did find that cat and you are both happy and hug. Then over the course of a few dreams your brain can accept that pretty girls will interact with and be close to you.