 Originally Posted by someweirdsin
Please write to me if you have experienced anything similar or have any ideas.
The only experience I've had of being watched was a few weeks ago, as I tried to extend my awareness further into what I feel that's like fate or abstract will. But it was impersonal, like a sky-wide all seeing eye, not a particular being.
My experience of the 'muse' which seems to design some of my dreams is similar to what you describe, in that it rarely speaks or takes a form, and has never provided a name. I think its not an individual being as we would usually conceive of such, and avoids appearing as one for the sake of avoiding a wrong impression. But it seems to have intelligence, will, and even a sense of humor. My sister had a dream in this context about an 'entity' that wished to be understood as not a 'being' and not an 'it'. I suspect that I'm actually lumping different beings, entities, and parts of myself together under one heading, like an infant that can't distinguish between people.
You might trying to approach the watcher as if it is a part of yourself, try thinking from its perspective. Even if its not precisely you, there may be a kindredness, and it may be able to communicate something that way. Also, you might try paying more attention to how if feels, and less attention to the visual aspect of the dream. For me, almost all of the content seems to come through feeling that way. And you also might try paying attention to that feeling while awake also, even though you can't see it then.
Over 20 years ago I had an experience where I had a severe and painful ear infection which kept me awake for 36 hours. I observed that my usual emotional pain was eclipsed by the physical pain. So I wondered what else was normally eclipsed by the emotional pain. That resulted in an experience of a sort of deep and enduring joy that left me happy for weeks. At that same time, when thinking in that direction, it seemed that I became aware of a foreign entity, as if always hiding inside me and right behind my awareness. There is no picture with this, just a feeling. It asked me if it could 'stay'. Afterwards I didn't remember how I answered, as if it diverted my attention or hid the memory, and that always bothered me a little bit. Maybe it wanted to make the request, but didn't want to chance a negative answer.
In theory this other spirit could be a part of myself, so strongly dissociated that I don't recognize it as me. I'm not sure there's a truly meaningful distinction between that and it being 'foreign' though. Imagine you could divide your mind in half, creating a split personality. Once independent, you would not want to coerce the two parts back together, you would want them to either exist semi-independently or reintegrate willingly. Similarly, two spirits that started out separate could conceivably decide to join, in varying degrees. And in either case certain things could be shared in common by fate and necessity that naturally bind you together. So what it comes down to for me is I want to be treated rightly and honestly., and I want to treat everyone else that way, and I expect that of other people or spirits who want to be close to me.
I'm a big proponent of discovering other parts of oneself, feeling, desire, hatred, courage, gratitude, etc., not necessarily because its the answer for everyone, but its because its what I know, and it seems to be working for me, at least in a fashion. The 'bad' parts can't be improved by locking them away, they need to be listened to, understood, disciplined, and nurtured, like children. The joy I mentioned is always there for me now, not eclipsed by the gloom, though that is still present also, and still something I'm trying to understand better and deal with.
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