My thought: Take a deep breath.

In the examples you gave, you demonstrated lucidity and control is an indirect way. There is some disaster, but you gain an awareness to some degree and it all turns out fine because you expect a happy ending. It seems that perhaps you want to engage your dreams with a bit more agency. In other words, to engage the dream with more direct immediacy and obvious control.

To me, it seems you already have the talent to become aware and to "supervise" a dream. That is, to have some greater understanding of the scenario and guide it, through indirect intention, toward a conclusion that has it either redeeming, or at least logical, or at least pleasant.

What I suggest is to stop and take a breath. More deeply, the idea is to stop the narrative. It seems that your dreams are following a narrative that you can bend but not halt. So try halting the narrative and just take a moment to experience being present in a moment by taking a breath. That cultivates agency. Once you connect with that agency, the realm of control of the dream opens up to your whole imagination.