Help with WILD. what am I doing wrong?
Ok. I have been attempting lucid dreaming on and off for maybe four years. This time I am actually serious about it as I am going through a depression and just really want to talk to my subconscious. When I first started up again I think a week ago, I was much more successful than I am now. I have been using Jody Whiteley's "hypnosis for lucid dreaming". I think it has worked one or twice. My first lucid dream, that was a couple of weeks ago, put me in legit sleep paralysis. I induced it by fantasizing, Im a bit of an escapism daydreamer. It felt horrible. It was like I was only partially in the dream. I could still feel and was very aware of my real body, and it was 30 degrees with a broken heater. I was cold and very uncomfortable. There was also something weird that was happening in the dream. Whenever I tried to control it, I felt real PHYSICAL pain!! Anytime I tried to control it, I got this splitting pain in my head accompanied with this like ringing/vibration? Idk. I could barely Change the direction I was walking in without feeling this pain. Out loud, I asked my subconscious to let me please control the dream, and for a split second I could without pain. Then I started fall in in this deep chasm and couldn't stop and eventually lost lucidity.
Another one of my lucid dreams happened like 3 nights ago while listening to said audio file. They only lasted a few seconds each. I think my own excitement ruined them. And then I have had what seems like an endless supply of FA's. Once, I fell into a dream that I heard my phone signaling it was dying, so I reached down to pick up my charger and proceeded to plug in my phone, then I remembered that my phone was already on c hargee and woke up. It felt sooo real.
So these are problems I feel like I could work with. I feel like, as long as I am having FA's and unstable lucid dreams, that these are things that I can work on. After all, its better than nothing. But the problems I am having now, I can barely sleep. And when I do go to sleep, I cant stay lucid for nothing in the world, and I keep waking up every couple of hours unable to go back to sleep. (Im not sure, but I think this is insomnia related to my 'girl cycle'- help ladies?) I do everything else ok. But lately I cant Induce the hypnagogic state. I see the little swirlies briefly, and then they go away. Im not really having any hallucinations though, and im guessing that is related to NREM which is probably due to my insomnia.. help. Any tips advice, im desperate.
