Thread: Honey's Guide to Treating the Sick

I’ve been getting pretty sick lately and last night, not ready to pass out yet I thought that I would use my time to help the caring people around me. What better way to do that than create a guide for others wondering how they could get me through in my time of need?
So here it is!

When sick:

I like to have a high defensive armor made up of:
• A tissue box necklace
• A water bottle
• A baggie for snot canons
• A blankie
• And a teapot

I would also like to be treated as if I am worse than I am. I’m poor baby. Treat me as such but be discreet as I don’t want to look like a retard.

Every once and awhile ask me how I feel. When I reply, “Like a pile of donkey poo.” Please proceed to boiling water.

I would occasionally like to be held (optional).

And have my head petted (mandatory).

Please be accepting of my excessive sleeping. I need at least 15 hours and a nap.

And during the time I am awake it must be tolerated that I’m dieing.

Please assure that the pantry is filled up with easy accessible food. I’m positive that I will waste away to nothing if not fed every three hours on the dot.

I will temporarily become a fish in my spare time. Please save me some hot water and check on me after 30 minutes. I may have drowned or fainted.

Please forget my name and call me Honey, Sweetie, Baby, Sugar, Snoozie, Pumpkin, Mommy, Girly or Girl Child depending on who you are. If none of these will do you may otherwise create a suitable and tasteful name such as Lambchops.

I can become slightly insecure during my times of need. Make sure to tell me I’m pretty and look me in the eye when you do it or I will cry.

Realize that I will accept an “I love you” from strangers at this time.


That's it for now but this thread may be updated in the future. Thank you for any cooperation in this matter!

Take care,
NostalgicHoney