Tell me about the funniest thing that has happened to you in the god of supermarkets, Walmart.

My funniest just happened a couple days ago. I was looking for bacon, when this old lady rolling around a cart rounds the corner and asks if I would like a sample of their product. I noticed, however, that it wasn't food or drink- It was one of those mini plastic bags full of tissues. And a plan formed in my head:

I smiled and said, "I'd be delighted!", then reached down, grabbed one, and stuffed the whole thing in my mouth and began chewing. "Mmm! Oh, Jesus, how do you make these things! Where can I find this!" She looked on in horror! "Um... Sir, do you wanna-" I was really making a show of chewing, smacking my lips and acting like I enjoyed the disgusting scented tissues. I swallowed it with tremendous difficulty and let off a burp.

I had to puke, but it was worth it.