Joke

[redneck]

Boudreaux and Thibideaux done started a charter airline service. On there first run, they took a group of people from Baton Rouge way up north to Shreveport. While descending for a landing, Boudreaux said, "Thibideaux, dats the shortest damn runway I ever seen." Thibideaux replied, "Yep, it sho nuff is. We gonna hafta put all the flaps down and hit the brakes hard when we land." So they came in real slow...just above stall speed. They put the flaps down and the plane hit the runway. They hit the brakes really hard and the plane stopped just over the edge of the runway. Passengers were thrown out of seats and luggage was thrown all around. Boudreaux said. "Damn dat is a short runway." Thibideaux replied,"Yeah but the damn thing is nearly two miles wide."

[redneck]

Boudreaux and Clarence lived on opposite sides of a bridge from each other on IH10 in Southern Louisiana. Ever day Boudreaux would wave at Clarence and say hi, trying to be friendly, but Clarence would give him a cussin and shoot the finger and tell him to leave him alone. Finally fed up, Boudreaux told his wife, "I'm tired of bein' nice to Clarence and he gimme a cussin'. I'm gonna go whip his damn tail." She replied, "You go Boudreaux and I'm gonna watch you from da porch." So Boudreaux started walking over to Clarence to give him a whippin' but he stopped when he got to the bridge, stood for a moment and returned home. His wife said,"Boudreaux, lemme axe sumthin' Why didn't you go all the way over there and whip ol' Clarence like you said you was gonna?" Boudreaux replied, "I was gonna beat da crap out of him, but you know from the yard he don't look so big. When I got over by da bridge there was a big green sign dat said CLARENCE 17' 4"."

[YULAW]

Redneck I got one for you You may be a Redneck if? You need a 10 Foot Ladder to get into your Truck! You may be a Redneck if? you think watching professional wrestling is foreplay You may be a Redneck if? You were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45's You may be a Redneck if? Your front porch collapses and four dogs get killed You may be a Redneck if? You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia Leader You may be a Redneck if? That Billboard that says No To Crack! reminds you to pull up your jeans You may be a Redneck if? You went to your Family Reunion looking for a date You may be a Redneck if? Your Junior/Senior prom had a Daycare You may be a Redneck if? You got more than 3 cousines named Bubba! You may be a Redneck if? You childs first words were "Attention K-Mart Shoppers" You may be a Redneck if? Your idea of high quality entertainment is a six pack and a bug zapper You may be a Redneck if? You ever had to siphon gas from your Lawn Mower to put in your Truck! And My Favorite of all You may be a Redneck if? You have a BUD LIGHT pool-table Light Hanging over your Dining room table. Bawhahahahahahaha..... Thats hilarious I got a Million of em'

[redneck]

ha ha ha damn those are funny....but I can relate to some of them. LOL Have you seen 'Blue Collar Comedy Tour' with Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall, Ron White and Larry the cable guy? I saw it today and it is hilarious.

[YULAW]

Yup Get her a Pair of "Get Her Dones" Now that der funny I don't care who you are that der' funny right der' Yeah I love that its hilarious

[Serinanth]

I missed that but heard it was friking great... Ok ... Eke and Zeke. Two brothers, they lived on a farm with their family, one day their daddy came up to them and said, well boys I need you two to go into town and get us a new bull, ours done keeled over, and now we aint got nothin to pull the plow! So Eke and Zeke went into town, found the used bull market, and started lookin over the bulls, They had a nice big strong bull picked out and they went and found the used bull salesman. Eke says "hey mistah we wana pur-chase that there bull" "well boys" says the salesman "thats a mighty fine bull but its also spensive, how much you got" They boys tell the salesman, he frowns a moment then says "well boys I got just the bull for you!" He takes them around back and theres this bull.. with a stupid look on its face, and its eyes were crossed! Eke says, "well how is that thing gona plow straight lines in the fields with its eyes all messed up like that?!" Salesman replies "oh that?! nun to it" He gets a big metal pipe from the shed next to the bull, stuffs one end in the bulls ass and blows in the other end. Bulls eyes go straight "Eke says, "Mistah you got yourself a deal" They take the bull home and are busy doing a days work of plowing the field, but suddenly the bulls eyes go crossed and it starts weaving and zigzaggin. "well Shoot!" Says Zeke, Eke says "don worry we got that there pole the salesman gave us!" Eke stuffs the pole in the bulls ass and blows, Nothin happens. He tries again and again, but nothin, the bulls eyes wont go straight. Zeke says "Hey give it here!" Takes the pipe out of the bulls ass turns it around stuffs it back in and blows. Bulls eyes go straight. Eke, scratching his head says "well howdya do that?!" Zeke, all smiles replies "nun to it" Eke says "whydja turn the pipe round though?" Zeke says, "Well I dun wana git all your germs!"

[redneck]

Boudreaux tells Thibideaux,"Hey cher, I done got me a new pet." Thibideaux asked, "What didja get?" Boudreaux replied, "I done got me a baby skunk. He come rat up to me in da field and was so friendly. I keep him out in da back yard in a cage." Thibideaux said, "Boudreaux, you cant keep dat lil skunk in a cage when it gets cold. He'll freeze. What you gonna do with him dis winter?" Boudreaux replied,"I done got dat figured out. When it gets cold dis winter, I'm gonna bring him in da house and put him in da bed between me and my ol' lady where its nice a warm." Thibideaux asked,"What you gonna do about the smell?" Boudreaux replied,"I guess dat damn skunk is gonna hafta get used to the smell!"

[Lowercase Society]

uhhhh...ok you have to say this joke verbally to yourself WHAT DO YOU CALL A FISH WITH NO "EYES" a FSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. ha. i got more and they get better thant that i promise... Today, everything was fine. Until roundabout, quarter to nine, I suddenly found myself in a bind. Was it something I said? Something I read an manifested that's getting you down.[/b]

[Serinanth]

sorry man... your joke telling rights have been revoked for the next few posts

[WerBurN]

roflmao awesome jokes....i love stupid jokes...so why'd santa plant a garden? so he could go HO HO HO 'ing! bwahahaha

[redneck]

Thibideaux woke up one morning and heard footsteps on his roof. Wondering if it was Santa Claus, he went out into the yard to investigate. Looking up to the rooftop, he noticed a gorilla up on the roof of the house. He had no idea what to do, so he went inside and started looking through the yellow pages were he found Boudreaux's Gorilla Removal Service. He called Boudreaux and told him to come help. Boudreaux showed up in a truck with a big cage on the back. He unloaded a ladder, a baseball bat, a big mean pitbull and a shotgun. Thibideaux said, "Ok Boudreaux, I gotta axe ya what you gonna do wit all dis here stuff." Boudreaux said, "Im gonna git on da house wit dis here ladder and knock dat gorilla of da roof with de baseball bat. Den dat pitbull is trained to bite him on da nuts and hold him dere till I git down off da roof to subdue that gorilla and git 'em in da cage." While he explained the procedure he handed Thibideaux the shotgun. Thibideaux asked, "Cher, what am I sposed to do with dis shotgun?" Boudreaux replied, "If dat damn gorilla knocks ME off da roof, shoot dat damn dog!"

[WerBurN]

wtf is up with you and naming everyone Thibideaux or Boudreaux?

[YULAW]

I know right! Can you throw in some other names be versatile.

[redneck]

Originally posted by WerBurN wtf is up with you and naming everyone Thibideaux or Boudreaux? In Southeast Texas and Southern Louisiana we tell Boudreaux and Thibideaux jokes. Its just a cultural thing. Kinda like Sean and Patty jokes in Ireland. Usually people telling Boudreaux and Thibideaux jokes are either named that or are related to 'em Boudreaux's wife died. He called Thibideaux who was the local undertaker. He said, "Thibideaux, My ol' lady died..I need you to come pick her up." He asked Boudreaux, "Were are you?" Boudreaux replied,"I am over here on Eucalyptus street." Thibideaux then asked," Can you spell eucalyptus for me?" Boudreaux replied."U-C...no no...U-K-A....no no...hell, if I drag her over to Elm Street can ya come get her?"

[dreamsinmymynd]

I've never heard of those names up here.