Thread: How much wood?

The absurdity of it all has surfaced for the last time.I no longer have the patience for stupidity, and there is no mistaking it.

(2 chord of wood)

A woodchuck would chuck no amount of wood since a woodchuck can't chuck wood.

- -Barrett

A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

A woodchuck would chuck no amount of wood since a woodchuck can't chuck wood. [/b]

I said "if". hehe~~~

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could
chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

I always have to ask, how did Chuck Norris become such an internet novelty? The jokes are hilarious the absurdity, but I don't get why.

- -Barrett

Isn't that woodchuck thing in a Gary Larson cartoon?

17

...you said wood... heheheh

Originally posted by Raven

A woodchuck would chuck no amount of wood since a woodchuck can't chuck wood.

I said "if". hehe~~~[/b]

Yes, but, that's like saying:
"How many whole elephants could an ant eat if an ant could eat elephants?"

Totally absurd.

Now, an elephant, on the other hand, CAN chuck wood. And a LOT of it. Those things have damn strong trunks. Elephants can also eat woodchucks, chuck woodchucks, AND eat wood. They can't chuck ants, cos ants are too small, but, they can EAT ants. Use that big trunk to suck them uo like an ant-eater or vaccuum cleaner...

My point?

Elephants > Woodchucks

Who gives a f*ck about woodchucks anyway?

to blue meanie

Originally posted by The Blue Meanie



Who gives a f*ck about woodchucks anyway?

Are you kidding!? Have you never eard of a little town in Pennsylvania called Punxsutaweny. These fine animals have the amzing abilty to predict the coming of an early spring! Are you campletlyforgeting about the MOSTimportant holiday of the year, Groundhogsday!!!!!!

Originally posted by ledzeppelin
Are you kidding!? Have you never eard of a little town in Pennsylvania called Punxsutaweny. These fine animals have the amzing abilty to predict the coming of an early spring! Are you campletlyforgeting about the MOSTimportant holiday of the year, Groundhogsday!!!!!!

No, I haven't heard of that little town. And what the hell's groundhogsday?

Meh. A herd of elephants could so totally kick Punxsutaweny's ass. They could stomp the town to pieces, and pick up all the woodchucks with their trunks, chucking them long distances against trees untill all the little buggers are dead, then subsequently eating their battered corpses as they trod over the ruins of the town into the sunset.

Elephants > Woodchucks > Chuck Norris

I'm not going to lie, I was disappointed at the misleading title.

Originally posted by Raven
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood???







Give me all your answers!

that is not even a rhetorical question but a exercise for annunciation and diction as like "she collects sea shells at the sea shore" or "in Spain it rains mostly on the plains".

Originally posted by Leo Volont

"in Spain it rains mostly on the plains".

dude you screwed that one up big time
its
"The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain!"

that is not even a rhetorical question but a exercise for annunciation and diction as like "she collects sea shells at the sea shore" or "in Spain it rains mostly on the plains".[/b]

-__-""" Yes. I know. But this is the senseless banter forum isnt it....

TBM, you spent way too much time reading/responding to this thread. you lose.

Originally posted by Dangeruss
TBM, you spent way too much time reading/responding to this thread. you lose.

Pffft. Quiet you! Shush, or I'll sic Dumbo on you.

As for Groundhog's Day, there are no woodchucks! For all I know, woodchucks don't even exist! Now, I've seen a woodpecker (and I just stood there admiring it), but I ain't never seen no woodchuck!

Groundhog's day: Um.... on Feb. 2, a groundhog comes out from the ground and if he sees his shadow then there are six more weeks of winter coming. Whoever started it, I don't know, but I'm thinking a woodpecker had a go at him before he came up with that idea.

It is a Gary Larson cartoon:

http://images.google.co.uk/images?svnum=10...odchuck&spell=1

You can't get access to the larger image, but that peice of paper in the cartoon says that exact question that Raven asked....

Not clever.

i couldn't be sure, but i think that question has been around for far longer than the Far Side has. not to rip on the Far Side, because Gary Larson is awesome.

the initial question is missing the time factor

like, how much wood in a woodchuck's entire life?

male or female?

gaaaah, too many variables, the formula would look completely recockulous:

assuming we're talking about a woodchuck/groundhog (Marmota monax) from Missouri,

1-0-2-3 = 22 (tooth foormula) + A(B) + C()
1-0-1-3

where A = woodchuck life span
and B = woodchuck gender
and C = type of lumber
and P = pressure (pounds per sq inch)

source and source.

Originally posted by OpheliaBlue
the initial question is missing the time factor

like, how much wood in a woodchuck's entire life?

male or female?

gaaaah, too many variables, the formula would look completely recockulous:

assuming we're talking about a woodchuck/groundhog (Marmota monax) from Missouri,

1-0-2-3 = 22 (tooth foormula) + A(B) + C()
1-0-1-3

where A = woodchuck life span
and B = woodchuck gender
and C = type of lumber
and P = pressure (pounds per sq inch)

source and source.

lmao but then you take the derivative then its intergral and you should get the answer