I'm bored and can't sleep...so I think it's time to tell an important story....

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Nothing in life brings me more joy and satisfaction than great bread. Especially when that bread is cut open and topped with glorious meats, chipper cheeses, fresh veggies and savoury sauces.

This, as we all know, is the submarine sandwich.

As I was growing up in Waterloo, Mr. Sub was my only source of sub experience. Though that sounds like a terrible deprivation of quality food, I assure you that I was quite happy in my ignorance of the higher sub culture that existed just outside my grasp.

Then--at the beginning of 8th grade--I moved to Midland, Ontario and everything changed. At first I remained loyal to the sub that had served me well for so many years. 'Subway?', I said, "who eats at Subway?". It seemed like such a Johnny-come-lately, scenester sub shop. But slowly and surely, I became more accepting of the green and yellow sub joint down the street. "What's the difference?", I thought. I had to admit, the bread in those Subway commercials sure looked tasty.

It was around this time that I first experienced a Subway submarine sandwich. I was instantly hooked and immediately regreted all the time and loyalty I had devoted to Mr. Sub, the two products aren't even remotely comparable. The bread...so fresh, the vegetables....so crisp.

The next few years were devoted to the development more upscale tastes and sub expertise. With so much variety, it's important to know what combination of ingredigents will satisfy the specific details of your appetite at any given moment. Cold Cut Trio? Screw that. Give me the Oven Roasted Chicken Breast! the Chipotle Cheese Steak! the Southwest Turkey and Bacon!!

A Toronto Blue Jays game marked the beginning of a second revolution. Quiznos.

It was late, we were in Toronto, we were hungry. "Hey, Quiznos! I heard that place is supposed to be good". So in we went--I came out a changed man. This is one of the fastest growing franchises in North America for a reason, their subs are fucking incredible. Topped and toasted to perfection, this is the height of sub culture, anything tastier would probably be made illegal.

This brings me to my current situation. A Quiznos coupon booklet has been sitting innocently on my desk for a number of days now. Each time I look at it, my mouth begins to water and a little piece of me dies with the realization that the nearest restaurant is a cold 40 minute trek from my house.