Thread: Random facts about Vin Diesel

These are all true apparently....

When Vin Diesel dies, he will return to the life stream and stop Meteor.

Vin Diesel created time, then subsequently traveled back in time using a modified Delorian with a flux capacitor. Vin Diesel then punched Michael J Fox so hard that he ceased to exist.

All buildings that Vin Diesel walks out of explode just a few seconds after he makes his exit.

Vin Diesel actually invented the fork, after seeing the chopstick and reportedly saying "That shit's for fags, yo."

Vin Diesel once crushed a beer keg against his forehead after drinking all of its contents.

Vin Diesel has had sex with two of the three Powerpuff Girls. He has not had sex with Bubbles because exposure to light blue fabric turns him into a female for 24 hours.

Vin Diesel played the phone booth in the movie of the same name.

When Vin Diesel told the Microsoft Word paper clip to go away, it never came back.

Vin Diesel has always been able to find Waldo, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Waldo Now?, not being able to find the Waldo without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLSHIT!" They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALDO, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child that he had borrowed it from. The child began to cry and Vin ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.

Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.

Vin Diesel can divide by zero.

Light cannot escape black holes; but Vin Diesel can.

Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

While in the Arabian Desert, Vin Diesel came upon a Genie. When he heard that he was only allowed three wishes, Vin Diesel kicked the Genie in the groin and swallowed the lamp.

Whenever Vin Diesel puts out a cigarette, he throws it in slow motion into a long line of gasoline and calmly walks away as an inferno erupts behind him.

Vin Diesel created Pokemon when he stubbed his toe on a brick and yelled out 151 nonsensical words in a fit of rage.

Vin Diesel accidently invented the sport of jousting when he went horseback riding in the middle ages with an erection.

When told there was a random fact site about him, Vin Diesel smiled, laughed a bit, then ascended into the sky, kinda like Jesus but better.

The existence of Vin Diesel was predicted with astonishing accuracy by Nostradamus, who said, "One day there will be a guy who is supremely awesome and bald."

And the best Vin Diesel fact ever...

For breakfast Vin Diesel has a bowl of rusty nails and grain alcohol, with a tall glass of molten lead. For lunch he eats the soul of a third world country's dictator with a ceaser salad. For Dinner he eats a rack of being of inconcievable horror. And for dessert he shoots himself in the face with a .45 magnum.

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