I'm watching Kung Pow right now and am tempted to quote all of the lines. However, I'll let you guys get in on the fun!
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Mayor: Master Betty, might I inquire, what is the Evil Council's plan?
Betty: Hrm, it is evil! It is so evil! It is a bad, bad plan that will hurt many people that are good! I think it's great 'cause it's so bad!
Mayor: But what of the Chosen One?
Betty: Hrm, I'll kill him. I'll kill him dead... with like a rock, like a stone or something.

Master Tang: So, here were my options. A. quickly duck sideways, doge the claw and take him out with a spinning back-kick, or B. take the claw in the face, roll around on the ground and die.".... "Ugh, should have gone with A.