DV Excuse Game!!!!!

I would, but I like it messy.

Pour me a double shot of bourbon.

I would, but I don't have any handy

get some bourbon so you can help me help you

I would, but I'd probably drink it all before I made at across a couple states.

Open a 24-hour beer, wine, and liquor delivery business.

I would, but I'm not old enough to either drink or own property

Lower the legal drinking age

I would but that would cause more deaths from drunk driving, and I don't want that to happen

make people invincible to sickness and anything else so we can only die of old age

I would, but that is still a long time ahead of our current technology.

Run a marathon while carrying a 50 pound bag.

I would, but I have asthma (true!)

take away my asthma

I would, but you post-snipped me

Make everyone use Metric Measurements

I edited...

I would, but I prefer the American way.

Buy America.

i would but I live in it already

learn that it is called Imperial not "American way"
(I think its called imperial xD)

I would...if I knew how

Teach me how to make balloon animals

i would, but i was post sniped earlier and had that as my post (don't know if you knew that one)

give me time

I would, but it's too precious too me

I'll be nice, someone give erible all the time she wants, I want her to be happy

I would, but I cannot give it to myself

make soulnote happy :D now

I would, but it would work more like a boomerang, and would be pointless

Make myself give the next person who posts some time management tips

i would but i can't make you do anything

grant me happiness

I'll make you the happiest person in the world...that is...if I knew how...

Cure me of my hopelessness

i would, but i too am hopeless

make a song out of our depressing posts

I would, but I don't have a pen and paper on hand...and my computer's notepad thing is broken

I wish I understood people

I would, but you posted a wish, not a request

take me to my happy place

I would, but you haven't told me where that would be, I need a location

Tell me why you haven;t replied to Corrupt A Wish

i would, but you can see for yourself

tell me why my friend is mad at me

I would, but s/he is probably mad at you for a stupid reason, I don't really know why someone would be mad at you

Tell me why everyone I know in real life hates me for some reason

I would, but I am in the same situation

make everyone who feels the way we do go to a separate world to be eachothers friends

I would, but I don't have a way to do so

Tell me, are you my friend? :P