DV Excuse Game!!!!!

I would, but I can't program my own subconscious

make it thunderstorm all day

I would, but I scheduled a snowstorm to hit.

Make Japan all better.

I'm trying, but I can't do it all on my own.

Warp time and make it 14 months from now.

i would, by why would i do that?
give me a freeze time ability

I would, but I'm selfish and want freeze time ability for myself!

Have a drink on me.

i would, but my town has been flooded (150mm) and i can't get your house
stop australia flooding (first Queensland, then Vicotria and now NSW!)

I would, but I don't have any control over the water that flood's Australia.

Don't get struck by lighting on your way to work/school tomorrow.

I would try, but I failed, I'm already in the hospital cuz you didn't tell me NOT to hug a tree!

Shoot the messenger!

He's not really worth it, I'll go for the King.

Solve the mistery murder

I would, but everyone knows the butler did it.

Spell "mystery" right next time.

i would but im too lazy to spell check

Stop trolling!

I would, but my avatar states my true feelings...

Organize a flash mob.

I would, but I'm too busy trolling.

Make all things with a little "i" in front of them go away...

i would but i don't get what you mean
give yourself up, we have you surrounded!

thats never stopped me before.

Send the cowboys to the superbowl.

I would, but I can't afford that many plane tickets. :(

Jump off a cliff.

I would, but I stubbed my toe this morning, and I don't want to hurt it.

Please transcend time and space in a metamorphic transition into pure energy.

I would, but I don't have the power to do so

do my homework for me

i would, but i got my own homework
tell me why i can't share dreams (besides the fact they don't exist)

I dont know my self sorry.

Turn me into a great piano player

I would but I don't own a piano. :(

Go camping on Friday the 13.

I would but I dont know when the next friday 13th is.

Go to the nearest Six Flags and shout at people dressed up as cartoon characters

Hell yeah! Not a problem!

...I mean no. That would be mean.

KISS MEH!

i would, but you seem ugleh

give me an african wild ass

I would, but I don't know what that is.... and it sounds painful.

I'm on a diet, so I want you to eat everything I can't eat.