DV Excuse Game!!!!!

I would, but I have a coupon for 15% off Chinese instead.

Make my downloads go faster.

I would, but I don't deal with corruption very well...

Take this coupon for one free internet!

I would, but I have unlimited internets.


Go advanced and post quick reply.

I would, but I'm too lazy to find the advanced button.

Stop me from killing threads.

i would, but its amusing when you do
make my fish better

Can't make your fish better because it's already spoiled.

Get me some water.

i would, but you didn't say please
Say please

I would, but I simply don't feel like it.

Inspire me to do something other than sit in front of the computer all evening.

I would but I can't even inspire myself to get off the computer and do something productive.

Do my laundry - wash, dry, fold, repeat. PLEASE. ;)

I would, but I can't separate darks from lights...

Give me a pancake at my address.

I would but i ANIN"T GOT NO PANCAKE MIX!
Stop lying to these people!

I can't, my shrink says it's a personality disorder. I say it's just who I am. LOL.

Make me some cookies. PLEASE. lol.

I would, but I cant take you seriously if you are laughing out loud all the time.


Do my homework, or I'll destroy your computer.

I would but you've threatened me. I don't take to threats nicely.

Turn me into a fairy.

I don't know if you just want to be GAY.

Make me fat.

I'm sorry Dave, but I'm afraid I can't do that...

Teach me how to shoot like Kirby.

I can't because you aren't round and pink.

Pay off my car PLEASE.

I would but i am broke
Pray to god!

I would but im not sure what god you mean. While I suppose you mean the god of judaism christianity and islam you could just as easily mean zues or hades or ra or set

cut your neighbors tires

I would, but I'm terrified of their evil dog

Go grocery shopping in a toga

I would, but I don't want to end up on that peopleofwalmart site.

Make it not rain tomorrow.

Sorry bro, love the rain.

Go to either Belgium or the Netherlands

I would, but the international commute to work would be hell. I wouldn't want to be felt up every day by the TSA.

Someone get me another beer from the fridge.

I would totally love to, but I drank the last one.

Sing me a lullaby, for I'm going to bed.

I totally would, but my singing voice is so bad that I don't even want to hear it.

Convince my friends that talking dirty to machines really does make them work better.