But you are a toucan. That would be toucan slavery! I shall not allow it!
Die in the next 15 seconds of reading this post.
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But you are a toucan. That would be toucan slavery! I shall not allow it!
Die in the next 15 seconds of reading this post.
I love life so instead of that I'm just going to sing about how much i love life.
Sing with me!~
I refuse. I have the worst voice, so I'll end up spoiling yours as well if I sing with you..
Find me THE pair of scissors.
Hmm, I'm very distracted by having no replies for exactly 10 days to get any scissors..
Enact vengeance on your enemy in the most brutal and violent way.
I would but I wanted to fuck them up with THE pair of scissors but I couldn't fucking find them ( there, a 2-in-one for the llama :teeth: )
Now go buy me some god damn stogies.
Instructions unclear, accidentally bought some stooges. Say hi to Larry, Curly, and Moe (and Shep, but we don't talk about him).
Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar.
I would, but I don't have one. Here, have a Butterfinger instead.
Show me the money!
I would but I only have monopoly money
Bring "my" lamborghini to the garage *tosses keys*
I would but I have greasy fingers (drops keys)
Get me a towel
I would, but I fell off a cliff.
Quick, pass me the parachute!
But... there's only one... and I'd rather not die... I'll miss you a lot.
Hold a memorial for our fallen llama.
Requiem aeternam dona eis, blah blah, llama llama, amum. Uh, eminem. No, amlem. Ok fuck the memorial, I forgot my Latin.
Someone teach me Latin. REAL Vatican Latin too, not that Germanic shit.
All I know is Pig Latin. Ealday ithway itay.
Follow your nose for the fruity taste that shows.
I followed my nose, but discovered that it was actually following me.
Press ALT-F4.
Aaaggghhh.... but the buttons are so far... I can't reach them... (but just for the lols I actually did it anyway.. had nothing important).
Surrender the forums to me!
I tried but I would need to own the forums for that first.
Teach me some ancient greek.
I would but I'm neither ancient nor Greek, so you should find someone else.
Tell me how the llama came back to life after falling off the cliff
I would, but it involves time travel, quantum physics, and a hint of organic chemistry.
Buy a vowel.
Cldn't fnd vwl
Phew, build a personal movie theatre for me.
Woah, is that toucan talking to me? I'm hearing things, I really need some sleep... oh wait, nevermind, by laws of ani-physics, animals can communicate with one another! Oh my god, is that why I could always hear what the birds say?! *Sudden realization hit Llama, it's super effective! Critical hit! Llama fainted.*
*False awakening* Phew, looks like I'm back up. I could really go for some water right now...
I have some vodka. It's EXACTLY the same thing.
My dog Gucci needs a haircut, bad. Someone do it for me. I don't like to do it because he pees everytime I approach him with the scissors.
I figured that a pair of scissors wouldnt be a safe choise so I tried to approach him with a fork but he still peed on me.
Get me some clean pants.
I would, but I left them at the laundromat. I can't get them because I got in a car crash.
Help me up from this hole.
Sorry, past self, I'm still really distracted by the inactivity of this awesome thread.
Dig your way to the center of the earth.
I would, but I don't live on Earth, so that'd by impossible.
Type your reply in black.
I would, but I prefer red... the colour of blood... laughs maniacally
Occupy a space and have a mass.
Space and mass? Who do you think I am, a Catholic astronaut?
Please re-enter your password to confirm your identity.
I would, but entering my password twice would do nothing to help confirm my identity. Would my social security number work?
Buy a black albino cat.
I would, but I've been taped to the ceiling!
Burn this trashbag of questionable origin.
I would, but I'm not allowed to play with fire anymore.
Burn his trashbag of questionable origin.
Sorry, every single time I get near fire, I always hear voices coming out of it. It always says it wants to kill me, I'm scared :/.
Burn his trashbag of questionable origin.
I would, but I'm preoccupied with my own trashbag of questionable origin.
Burn these trashbags of questionable origins.
I would but I have a feeling it would be better not to burn them.
Follow that car!
Sorry, it fell off the edge of the earth. I'm not going there O.o.
Give me ownership of all of China.
I was going to, but I ran to border issues over whether Taiwan was a part of China and don't even get me started on the mess in the South China Sea! I decided to just scrap the project and get you Mongolia instead.
Pick up the goods at our predisclosed location.
I would but your goods were lighter-than-air and instead of picking them up we were busy pulling them down.
Get me my own TV show.
I tried, but due to a clerical error, Red Green got a show instead.
Go wild.
I can't, I need to finish this sand castle!
Get me water for the moat.
I got you a hurricane. Close enough, right?
Help me board up my windows.
I boarded a ship instead because I didnt know what you meant.
Deep into the oceans and find Atlantis so I can get all the publicity.
I would, but Disney already made a movie about it.
Buy my college textbooks for me.
Psssh, what am I, made of money?
Help me pick out the perfect Christmas tree.
I would, but I don't believe in trees.
Tell me how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop.
I would but my calculator doesnt have a tongue.
Call the ghost busters for me.
Well I would if I wasn't a ghost myself... :evil:
See me in your next dream.
I would but youre too small, I cant see ghost flies...
Actually, that sounds like a reasonable request. Don't mind if I do.
Here, taste this.
I would but I don't think that's a chocolate chip...
Reality check 10 minutes ago.
I would, but I can't remember what I was doing 10 minutes ago. Wait... *RCs* oh neat, I'm dreaming.
Come fly with me.
I would but im grounded
Wow im so 'funny' tell me a joke
I would, but I'm too busy asking the chicken why he crossed the road.
Go to sleep!
I would, but... :cantsleep:
Open sesame.
I would but I can't open the pod bay doors.
Travel to Jupiter on a Banana.
I would but I think you need a space visa for that, which I dont have.
Teach a stormtrooper how to hit a target.
I would but their aim is so bad I'm afraid he would hit me.
Reality Check using only your big toe.
I would, but both my big toes are missing for some reason. Weird.
Drive me to the hospital.
I would, but it'd take me a while to get to where you live.
Travel back in time and give a high five to the guy who invented high fives right before he invents it.
I would but I'm already traveling back in time to meet the guy who invented the planet Jupiter.
Go slam a revolving door.
I would but I cant decide if i should do it while i'm in hulk mode or not.
Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars~
How about I fly you to mars instead? At least there's an atmosphere there..
Feed me!
I would but you won't eat the nasty casserole or whatever the joke was from Napoleon Dynamite...
Imagine the audience in their underwear, unless they're all hotties. That will probably just make things worse.
I would, but nobody liked me enough to show up to my event. :cry:
Please come to my nonspecific event.
I would but I bought 'The Promise' avatar comic and I'm going to be busy tonight.
Put on a rock concert. drop the basalt and don't be igneous of the genre.
I would, but I'm pathologically afraid of rocks.
Burn this box of (you guessed it) questionable origin.
I would, but I'm too busy making up excuses. :)
Make me a PBJB sandwich.
I would but I'm out of lead additive.
Crack my back.
I would, but I can't reach it from here.
Tell me how much wood the woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
I wood but there's too much wood, wood you please help me move it first.
Tell me the story of my siggy.
"Once upon a time there was a little boy named Jack..." oh wait, I'm sure that's not how it goes..
Burn this bag of questionable origin.
I can't burn something that the almighty Llama gave to me...
Hey, post something on DV Excuse Game!!!!! thread
I can't because my dog ate my iPad
Be my servent for a whole day
I can't because you don't have enough money to pay me for my services.
Tell you someone that you love them.
I can't because she's currently conflicted with wanting to talk to her ex, and yet still is predisposed in being gregarious with me, and showing the obvious signs. I don't have time to be a potential rebound, shoulder to cry on, or inflicted with the friend zone.
Go and attempt a DEILD with an auto-dismiss alarm software/app.
I would, but I zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzz.
Point to your nose.
I missed.
Get a friend to hold one end of a ribbon, and you the other end, and attempt to tie a bow with it together.
Instructions unclear, because somehow, I got inside her instead, and we're stuck on the ceiling.
Give a homeless person $20.
*proceeds to cry in a corner*
Give me 20$ so I can give it to a homeless person.
Sorry, I need to save my $40 tip for something else for my own benefit.
Give ParanoidLlama $20 plus $5 for easing his guilty conscience to assess the homeless person.
I need that money to buy a really cheap private island.
Go away.
I would but I'm over-encumbered and cannot fast travel.
Eat a sandwich.
I would but, I already had a knuckle sandwich today so, I'm good!! Thanks!
Solve a mystery.
Sorry what was that? I was sleeping... Huh. * Turns side and starts to snoar*
Could you tell me what time it is?
I'm too busy looking over the clock that seems to be in a perpetual state of changing its positioning of that little arrow, and big arrow; how am I supposed t---Oh, look, I'm dreaming, pardon me.
Use a plastic fork for your hotdog.
I would but it's not environmentally friendly.
Reduce your carbon footprint.
I would, but my lights won't turn off.
Have a lucid dream.
I Would but, I already have had 4 lucids today.
Patch up my arm.
I would, but I'm out of bandages.
Eat the apple...
I can't because I turned into an apple. :(
Play Jeopardy!!
I would, but I don't know how.
You play it!
I don't have a VHS player anymore.
Help out ,so Poland can into space
I would but they need moar boosters.
Do 100 push ups, 100 sit ups, 100 squats and go for a 10km run.
I would, but I'm glued to my sketchbook.
Daydream.
I would but I've been daydreaming for years of generic good vs evil conflicts using my dream characters that have been steadily escalating, and last week I destroyed the universe.
Get me to lucid dream.
I would but I'm out of galantamine.
Draw me an apple.
I would but drawing fruit makes me go bananas.
Watch the Live Action Last Airbender Movie.
I would, but my tv is broken.
Drink a coffee.
I would but I'm banned from drinking coffee by the lucidi-tea company.
Fund manned space exploration.
I would, but I spent all my money on caramels.
Fly to the moon.
I would but my rocket exploded on the launch pad.
Play some of the other forum games with me.
I would, but my hand is p a r a l y z e d
Call the Ambulance
I would, but what would be the point, since it has no ears?
Cheer me up.
I would but I don't know what your favorite type of candy is.
Respond to this post.
Mmm...
https://www.transparenttextures.com/...falt-light.png
No.
Find the lost city of At-pant-is.
I would but I'm afraid my film will get snubbed by 'Hamlet with Lions', that is if the censors don't crack down on us for everyone being naked from the waist down first.
Write a screenplay about my dreams.
I would but, I can't because I can't see your dreams, silly.
Paint the town.
I would but every store I went to told me they were out of paint.
Buy me the most expensive piece of jewellery there is.
I would but, I lost all my money in the temple of DOOM!!
Bake me a Baked Alaska, please.
I would if I had a bigger oven.
Cry me a river.
I would but the river has run dry!
Tell me a secret.
Sorry, but I can't do anything constructive!
Why don't you answer that doorbell, its been ringing forever and ever!
I can't, I'm rooted to the spot! Go play with the baby.
I would, but I have a severe headache.
Bake me a chocolate cake.
I would, but I ran out of chocolate.
Tell me all about it.
I would, but I don't know where to start.
Refill the printer.
I can't, there's a 20 foot tall giant with a club blocking the way,
Get rid of the giant.
I can't because I'm the 20-foot tall giant.
Break the spell.
I'm no wizard!
Show me where.
I can't remember where it is, bring me a Remembrall.
I would, but I can't remember where I bought my last one.
Fix my internet speed.
I can't, the phone lines are jam-packed and you are 100,000 years away on the customer waiting list.
Bring me my coat
I can't, when I heard how you spilled water on the papers in my office, I lost control, and burned your coat in my fireplace.
Clean up the mess in my office.
I would, but I don't have a key.
Replace my broken pen.
I would, but I only have pencils.
Rob a bank for me.
I can't because that's boring.
Stop it from raining.
I would, but my CD of "It can't rain all the time" is just skipping on "rain...rain...rain...rain...rain...rain...rain... "
Make 55 billion dollars appear in my bank account.
I can't because nobody robbed me a bank to get me the money.
Tell me your secret.
I can't, someone sewed my mouth shut.
Take me to the hospital!
An alien spaceship crashed into the hospital and the Men in Black are blocking it off
Eat this hamburger.
I can't because my dream guide Mr. Volt was hungry, so he took it off me and ate it himself... Bad man.
Find my car keys for me, thanks!
Sorry, I can't I lost my own Keys in a plane crash, ten years into the future.Quote:
Originally Posted by KarlaB18
Hand me a saw??
I can’t, I already used it to saw both my hands off. Can someone please call me an ambulance?Quote:
Originally Posted by HumbleDreamer
I can't, I'm WAY too late for my own birth. Can someone please fix my caps lock on my Laptop?