Thread: Religious differences in relationships

Can it work? I know some very cool women who are Christian (and Jewish and Rasta), and it doesn't intrude on our friendship too much, but when there's chemistry and developing intimacy, it becomes an issue.

I'm essentially Buddhist, though not a very good Buddhist boy. I can see how other symbol sets overlay the human condition, but the one-god/Sky Daddy meme in particular strikes me as a poison pill, a comfort for the believer at the expense of society and all that lives. Only once has it been a serious consideration (and to some extent that's an ongoing situation), but it's practically equivalent to knowing the other person has herpes--you might accept that to be with this person you also accept this unpleasantness into your life, but it's a strong con.

What do you think? Could you be with someone with a different religion? If religious could you be with a strict materialist/atheist (perhaps a strong humanist)? If atheist/exclusively scientific, could you be with a religious person?

And why can't I meet any nice Buddhist girls?

I'm sure you have.

You just didn't notice because of the bald heads and whatnot...

Oh come on Buddhism has the advantage of being more of a way of life, a philosophy, as opposed to simply a religion. I think you theoretically have it much easier than others to be more tolerant of people from a different religion.

Before I became a strong atheist, I dated people ranging from Hindus to Catholics, and it was perfectly fine because none of these people's lives were ruled by their religions. Religion was only one small part of them, much like choice in food or political beliefs or whatnot.

Since I've become a full blown atheist, I've been a little bit more sensitive to certain things people say... but I'm easy going and it still has never been a problem. But - I could never date a fundamentalist Christian or something like that, because that kind of person would probably never shut up about their religion. I have a friend who is precisely like that - because we're just friends, I tolerate it and just keep my mouth shut whenever he talks about religion (which is at least once every time we get together)... but dating that person? Nooo way.

And it's not just the fact that the religious differences are so big between me and this particular person. If we differed so greatly on ANY major subject, the same would happen. It's just human nature.. we tend to form relationships with people whom we're most similar to.

So, erm, I guess my point is that as long as you and your partner take a damn chill pill and don't take life too seriously, it will be fine. But it's not easy to find a religious person who is willing to do that.

I went out with a serious Catholic a few years ago. She taught Sunday school every Sunday and was really into it, even though she smoked lots of weed and had no problem with premarital sex. She also was not preachy at all. We got very close. One night I asked her if she believed I was going to be tortured for eternity, and she flat out said she believed I was going to be. That really made things seem messed up. We are supposed to care about each other and be really close, but she thinks in the end I burn forever? Screw that. I could never really get past that. Also, IF I had married her and had kids with her, I would have made sure she didn't teach them that horrible stuff. I would have started telling the kids as soon as they could talk not to listen to what the world tells them about religion. I know that would have created major issues, even to the extent that we could not have had kids together. And I don't want to be married to somebody who thinks I am going to be tortured forever and ever.

Well, I didn't want to get married or have kids any way, and her heart was set on both. That is pretty much what ended everything. She ended up marrying somebody who wants to have kids and is a Christian she doesn't think is going to burn forever. He also agrees with her politically, unlike me, and is in the same line of work, the details of which went in one ear and out the other every time she told me about it.

Originally Posted by Universal Mind

One night I asked her if she believed I was going to be tortured for eternity, and she flat out said she believed I was going to be.

Damn! Makes me wonder how she was able at all to get close to you.

(And how again was she immune from hell with all her drugs and premarital sex? )

Originally Posted by Mes Tarrant

(And how again was she immune from hell with all her drugs and premarital sex? )

Catholics confess their sins to their priests and are forgiven for all of them.