I use to be an athiest but just turned Ronald Mcdonaldist.
There is many who are a few chips short of a happy meal these days. This is dedicated to them. Let me show you an example of just how stupid some people can be. (eg me)
Because I'm pretty sure, Soon enough after I spread my teachings some people will be wearing like a yellow Mcdonald tea towl on their head. Running towards mcdonalds like it's the rapture. Crowding around the mcdonald stature praying and demanding where the farm is. The manager arrives. "what are you blokes up to" They accuse him of being in league with the burger stealer. You know that guy that hangs around with mcdonald who has nothing better to do in his robber outfit than steal cheeseburgers? How could you steal something like that? that si the last thing i would want to steal man.
Anyway I'd like to read to you now (or you read it) A very special scripture of the lord.
Accept our Lord Ronald mcdonald the clown saviour into you heart and through him you will be saved.
The Ronald mcdonald Religion.
The holy mac-time.
Ronald Mcdonald verse 6:8 chaper purple blue monster:
The coming of the lord.
Before the coming of the clown lord Ronald mcdonald,
He shall await as a statue silent and solid in meditation humbly upon a park bench.
but with his eyes open. Open to keep an eye on the world. If he glances at you. You have a sin to confess. If the purple blob from heaven considers you worthy Ronald will then speak to you before his standing.
Humbly on a park bench. Patiently he awaits in meditation for his disciples.
Once gatherd he shall reveal thy farm.
Leading his sheep as a good sheperd does into heaven. And many other animals.
but thou be ware of the burger thief Always stealing from thee.
those who edure to the end of the Ronald mcdonald meditation shall be saved. And also recieve a free special addition toy with their happy meal. One in 10 shall thee strive to collect.
The great clown lord who made man in his image and likeness.
Shall then stand at the time of the coming of judgement day.
Do not attempt to blowjob Ronald.
Else thy wrath destory thee after meditation of judgement.
After careful consideration. The clown lord of man Ronald decided not to cross his legs fully as he enter meditation but only one leg. So he may know his true believers. Who may meditate in his image only. With the same red hair on fridays. And on thursday a red nose would please him greatly but is optional.
The next chapter is the revelations and I will not read it as it is too disturbing.
Also I fear that some will believe me. This is one of the better religions humanity has to offer. You guys reallllly need to update your Religions. Who is really this stupid anymore? Stuck in the stone age guys. I Pulled a better one out of my ass just then.
However not right and unfunny/offensive. I laughed so hard anyway
