Thread: A Guide to Happiness

Explain how to be happy

True happiness is the ignorance of youth.

Wrong. More stuff makes you happy. And when that doesn't work, you just need even more stuff.

Originally Posted by Omnis Dei

Wrong. More stuff makes you happy. And when that doesn't work, you just need even more stuff.

Nah.

When that doesn't work, you look for replacement stuff that doesn't even match up to the value of the stuff you're trying to replace. Take love for example, loving a person who doesn't love you back.

Low expectations.

Originally Posted by DuB

Low expectations.

That just saves you from the pain of disappointment. One can achieve the same freedom by exercising detachment from the highest expectations they believe they are capable of achieving.

As a wise man once said, "You have to care... just not that much."

Originally Posted by mcwillis

I have read several hundred books covering this subject and could elaborate deeply on this subject but I have been wasting too much of my precious spare time involved in your 'What is Science' thread.

Our true inner nature is pure bliss. If one has an intact and undamaged brain then the main basic reason why we don't experience pure bliss on a continuous basis is basically because of our mental detachment to the thousands of demands and expectations that we place on every aspect of our experience of life. When one converts those demands and expactations into preferences one experiences true happiness. For every desire we have we pay a price in lost happiness. Have you noticed when you have a desire manifested that you feel happiness when your desire is met but then discover that with time the happiness recedes? This is because the manifestation of our demands and expectations cannot generate lasting happiness, only short lived joy.

There is so much to discuss here from many different levels but in essence the above is correct. I have only met one truly happy person in life because he dedicated every spare moment of his life in converting his demands and expectation of his experience of life into preferences. The journey for him took several decades of super-human discipline and he would go for weeks at a time feeling nothing but ecstatic bliss no matter the experience of life through his five physical senses. His prescence was incredible and he had a profound effect on people because he was operating at such a high level of consciousness.

I think I'm understanding what you mean when you say you must transform your desires and expectations into preferences. But I would use a different vocabulary to describe it because saying desires bring suffering teaches the mind not to desire anything, or at least not allow themselves to have a burning hot drive toward their desires. The thing is, this burning hot drive makes life even more enjoyable, but only if it isn't suffered through. It's a source of passion, energy and enthusiasm. And honestly speaking, to manifest your desires you want to amplify the vibration you broadcast, meaning you want as much emotional potency as you can ignite. The hang-up roots itself in doubt, and focus on outcome rather than process. As the Baghavad Gita says, "To man belongs only his actions and never the fruit of them." By focusing on the result of your desires rather than the beautiful process of obtaining them, you are creating a seed of doubt which can grow each and every day the expectation is not met. By allowing yourself to simply live in the space of creation, and can dream of and grasp at the Divine and everything you long for.

It all comes back to gauging your emotional response. If you think of a desire, and it fills you with excitement and joy, you are on the right track. If it fills you with discouragement and anxiety, you are not only going to suffer but manifest circumstances to justify those emotions rather than manifesting circumstances to meet the feeling of joy and excitement. Manifestation is extremely simple that way. Circumstances begin to surround you which would justify whatever state of "reaction" or "emotion" you live in most of the time.

Balance in pleasure and pain make humans happy. Too much pleasure, they'll seek for pain naturally. Too much pain, and they'll break apart completely. Just fap.

Originally Posted by DuB

Low expectations.

Originally Posted by Omnis Dei

Explain how to be happy

I have read several hundred books covering this subject and could elaborate deeply on this subject but I have been wasting too much of my precious spare time involved in your 'What is Science' thread.

Our true inner nature is pure bliss. If one has an intact and undamaged brain then the main basic reason why we don't experience pure bliss on a continuous basis is basically because of our mental detachment to the thousands of demands and expectations that we place on every aspect of our experience of life. When one converts those demands and expactations into preferences one experiences true happiness. For every desire we have we pay a price in lost happiness. Have you noticed when you have a desire manifested that you feel happiness when your desire is met but then discover that with time the happiness recedes? This is because the manifestation of our demands and expectations cannot generate lasting happiness, only short lived joy.

There is so much to discuss here from many different levels but in essence the above is correct. I have only met one truly happy person in life because he dedicated every spare moment of his life in converting his demands and expectation of his experience of life into preferences. The journey for him took several decades of super-human discipline and he would go for weeks at a time feeling nothing but ecstatic bliss no matter the experience of life through his five physical senses. His prescence was incredible and he had a profound effect on people because he was operating at such a high level of consciousness.

Drugs.

That's why god invented drugs

TEDxBloomington - Shawn Achor - "The Happiness Advantage: Linking Positive Brains to Performance" - YouTube
Amazon.com: The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work (9780307591548): Shawn Achor: Books

Tal Ben-Shahar - Positive Psychology: The Science of Happiness | Video on PBS & NPR Forum Network
Online Courses

There you go ;p

Originally Posted by TimB

TEDxBloomington - Shawn Achor - "The Happiness Advantage: Linking Positive Brains to Performance" - YouTube

It's really strange that at one point in this talk, he seemed to be 'selling' happiness in terms of associated productivity benefits (happy people are more productive)... does happiness really need to be 'sold' (argued for), and even so why would you point to productivity benefits? It's like he's rounding out with a checklist for a complete modern argument, which seems to include some mention of implications for productivity... just to make sure you have something to say to everybody.

Nice presentation overall, just that one quirky thing caught my attention.

Originally Posted by Omnis Dei

Wrong. More stuff makes you happy. And when that doesn't work, you just need even more stuff.

Originally Posted by Omnis Dei

That's why god invented drugs

Somehow, this Guide To Happiness isn't making me happy.

Are you qualified?

Are you happy?

Originally Posted by melanieb

Somehow, this Guide To Happiness isn't making me happy.

Are you qualified?

Are you happy?

No, I am sad |:

That kitten has an ugly face.

Originally Posted by IndieAnthias

It's really strange that at one point in this talk, he seemed to be 'selling' happiness in terms of associated productivity benefits (happy people are more productive)... does happiness really need to be 'sold' (argued for), and even so why would you point to productivity benefits? It's like he's rounding out with a checklist for a complete modern argument, which seems to include some mention of implications for productivity... just to make sure you have something to say to everybody.

Nice presentation overall, just that one quirky thing caught my attention.

You're right, Shawn Achor does focus on the idea that happiness = productivity (happiness = profit) throughout his presentation. He stated multiple times in his presentation that he often gives presentations for schools and businesses. His TED Talk is exactly what he tells employers for his job. His suggestions for businesses are good, and some of them overlap with Tal Ben-Shahar's lessons. Yet his presentation tends to focus on the problems much more than the solutions.

Employers view people as assets; they need a financial reason to believe that happy employees are better employees. Otherwise, why would they waste that time and money on mental health programs, healthcare packages/insurance that cover more mental health needs, or a positive company culture? Archor raised valid points in his presentation, but his focus on productivity--a nicer word for profit--left a bad taste in my mouth. Businesses dehumanize topics like these so they can focus on money and not feel bad for the people affected by their decisions.

Originally Posted by TimB

TEDxBloomington - Shawn Achor - "The Happiness Advantage: Linking Positive Brains to Performance" - YouTube
Amazon.com: The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work (9780307591548): Shawn Achor: Books

Tal Ben-Shahar - Positive Psychology: The Science of Happiness | Video on PBS & NPR Forum Network
Online Courses

There you go ;p

TimB, the links were very good. I particularly enjoyed the lecture by Tal Ben-Shahar. Lengthy, but it gives the proper amount of attention to the issue. As he said though, his six lessons were steps toward being happier rather than happy. If I had to pick one lesson that would lead to happiness, I feel that finding meaning and pleasure (and goals) in life would be most likely candidate. I essentially agree with Omnis Dei. Healthy relationships come in at a close second.

In the past couple of years, I had embodied all six of his lessons at certain points, and the rest of the times I had four or five. The only thing that made me truly satisfied with life was when I became part of an organization that gave me both pleasure and meaning. I was proud, motivated, and passionate because I had a higher goal to work toward that I felt was much greater than just myself or my loved ones. An individual can be happy without goals, but having goals that interests and inspires a person can give much greater meaning, and thus happiness, to life.

As Omnis Dei pointed out, such goals or desires lead to much more happiness when one enjoys the journey as well as achieving the result or desire.

Originally Posted by Caenis

That kitten has an ugly face.

YOU have an ugly face

Originally Posted by saltyseedog

YOU have an ugly face

happiness, personified

Originally Posted by saltyseedog

YOU have an ugly face

Maybe. I'd prefer to have my ugly human face than a furry flat face.

Dan Gilbert asks, Why are we happy? | Video on TED.com
Dan Gilbert on our mistaken expectations | Video on TED.com

Spoiler for ...:

Originally Posted by Omnis Dei

That's why god invented drugs

Things that make me happy I guess. Feeling free of burden. Feeling love with another person. Saying nice things to other people. Having just joyful exciting experiences. Pretty vague but I can't explain everything I find joyful and exciting in life. I wouldn't say I don't only crave happiness though. Many other emotions and experiences can be sort of food for my spirit? maybe just being stable and comfortable is enough to make me happy. Hugs? Comforting others?

42

Look at pictures of kittens.

Originally Posted by Phion

Look at pictures of kittens.

Now I feel happy too.

Remove all that causes unhappiness. Happiness is a natural state, not an addition.

Hence children are happy, and adults less so. Unhappiness is something we accumulate throughout life, where children have yet to accumulate such.

That's very vague indeed, but one must start with the correct perspective first: That it is not something you gain, but uncover. That its opposite has covered it up.

Accumulation of what then? lol fk knows, perhaps knowledge; less ignorance. Concern of the past and future; very old memories, and 'important' plans. Children are in the moment - no plans, no old memories.

The obvious conclusion then, is that happiness does not lay in the future, nor in the past, but only when one forgets the past and future, and experiences that what they are experiencing: the present.

(Postponement, anticipation, expectation, reminiscing, plans, nostalgia, prediction - all concerns of past and future, all things adults heavily attend to, and mostly, the cause of unhappiness). Change your attention; change your mood.