I have recurring nightmares, but this one didn't fit...

Hey, so I've been having a very similar nightmare for the past year or so. It's not exactly the same, but the same person and emotions are involved. Not to mention I always wake up crying and terrified. However, I recently had one that kind of fit? But it was also completely different.

Just some backstory, I've had insomnia for about 3 years, and depression going on 5. Other mental issues as well, panic attacks, anxiety, dissociation etc. Generally I don't have nightmares; these recurring ones can happen months apart.

The normal recurring nightmare always involves my mum; her shouting, screaming, grabbing me or destroying my things. It changes a little, but it's always that kind of theme; and my anxiety is always even worse around her for a while after. Apart from these, I've had very few nightmares; some from a previous step-mother, and when I was younger getting lost.

This one was new. I had a nightmare about my dad; this hasn't happened before. I mean, he can be pretty scary. Ex-paratrooper, PTSD, and he's half deaf so shouts a lot. In the nightmare he was attempting to suffocate a character from a film by holding a plastic bag around their head; I don't even know if that would work. I don't particularly care about this character; sure, they're pretty good, but not a favourite. It worries me a little that they've reminded me of myself in the past. I was trying to get the bag off, but he's pretty strong. Before waking up, I ripped the bag off. I woke up unsettled and a bit distressed, but no tears or hyperventilating.

I can't get over the fact that I had a nightmare where my dad tried to kill someone, and I tried to stop him. I mean, the fact I'm scared of my mum's bad enough, I'm not sure this is a normal thing? I use they/them pronouns, and this character was the opposite sex to me; I thought it might have to do with how he misgenders me a lot, as in he's 'strangling' a major part of who I am.

But, I don't know. Any advice would be great; this really isn't helping my insomnia. Thanks.

It looks like the scary dream of your dad trying to suffocate the film character might possibly be about your own negative thoughts and feelings on how you resemble the character in some way.

The thing is that you’re probably mostly unaware about how much this comparison really does bother you a lot.

So the idea is that you’d understandably want to “kill” any such uncomfortable thoughts etc. that appear on the scene by making them “totally unconscious” once and for all.

But from the dream’s point of view, doing so would symbolically kind of “kill a living spirit” inside you as connected with the fact that its breath/spirit is being stopped.

So the dream is probably showing what you SHOULD do, that is, stop this “murder” from happening in order that you would allow a part of you to live on and thrive in some way no matter how annoying this can be at times.

The idea that a dream figure usually doesn’t actually symbolize an outer person (although of course it can do so) is often hard for us to accept until we get used to it.

As another example, while it looks like you tend to be afraid of your mother, the destructive images of her in your recurring dreams could be mostly about the fact that you might be having problems “mothering” yourself in a good enough way by being kind and accepting about parts of yourself that you don’t like very much.

Doing so sometimes isn’t very easy, but if you maybe you saw a therapist who could help you with learning how to “love yourself” more, the recurring dreams about your mother would probably stop or at least happen much less often.

Anyway, without knowing much about you, this approach to your dreams might not fit your personal circumstances very well, but I hope that these ideas can be helpful in some way.

Please feel free to ask any questions or to make any comments about this particular way of looking at your dreams.