Conversation Between Wolfwood and Alyzarin

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Hehe, I didn't smoke a high enough dose of it for that. It was more like a tester dose than anything. I'd still been smoking weed all year and was steadily increasing the psychedelic effects I was getting from it, but eventually it started to become a little much, and I was getting a little out of control with it too. The tension headaches I had before were starting to come back and it was really bringing me down, but I was making such a habit out of it that it was hard to convince myself to stop again. For a while now I had wanted to get back into tripping but I knew I would have to take another long break from weed, and likely be totally done with using it regularly anymore, to let my head rest... those headaches turn into fucking soul-shattering migraines on psychedelics. I did however totally get over my anxiety and an extremely large chunk of my depression in that time, so I felt that that break really would be the last step....

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We're also both polyamorous and want to spread love to everyone, and have talked about how basically all we want is one serious relationship at the center of all so we can still have that one special partner in life who we love and trust unconditionally and who truly understands us, but other than that we want to be unrestrained. We've even already joked about the idea of having threesomes with other people we like, or fivesomes if you include the LSD and the DMT. >w< But yeah, I could keep going but I think you get the point.... She's freaking unbelievable. :D I'm like still in shock that she even exists, we both keep talking about how life is like a dream right now. It's incredible....

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Not to mention the whole psychotherapy thing, so it's not like not only is she that great but she has the education to back it up haha. And she already knows exactly what I look for a trip too, since she already wants.... We both (as you know from all my D2 rants) love it when the trip has an electric and erotic quality, and we both find psychedelics to be inherently romantic. In fact, to be honest when I think about being with her I don't even think about "regular" sex... just tripping. She feels the same way too, actually.... We've both come to the conclusion that in a pheromone type of way we're both really just attracted to men, but we consider ourselves to be panromantic and see beyond the usual genital bullshit into all the other ways that that same part of the brain can be stimulated, by things like BDSM and drugs, and consider those practices to be just as valid as long as the intent is still to explore those feelings of love.

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We actually both have a pretty significant dosing fetish both for ourselves and others.... We're basically like psychedelic sadomasochists lol. The difference is though is that she was a wider range of experiences than I do; in fact, like all the tryptamines that I've ever wanted to try she already uses and has stashes of and they're her favorites for exactly the reasons that I always assumed they would be so wonderful, and she's super pumped to dose me on them. Oh, I should mention too... she lives on the other side of the country. T-T She just travels a lot... BUT I'm going to go visit her soon, and then I'm going to move closer to her, or hopefully even in with her, as quickly as possible!! But I can't even imagine how great it will be to trip with her, because already when I talk to her it's like all of my mental walls just melt away, she gets deeper in me than anyone has come even close to touching before, and awakens feelings I didn't even know I had....

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All the ways that I integrate ideas of drug use and lucid dreaming (and she's a lucid dreamer too!) into my sexuality and focus on things like trying to awaken my kundalini, she's had all the same thoughts. She's even at a similar point to me in that kundalini stuff. (Remember all the rushes up my spine I was talking about way back when? It gets more intense! ) She also LOVES researching the brain and coming up with theories about how it works, though she focuses more on the psychology aspect, but she has some neurochemistry knowledge too. She actually just finished getting her psychology degree and wants to become a psychedelic psychotherapist. She actually even prefers things about psychedelics the same way I do.... She mainly wants to focus on tryptamines because she gets a strong sexual pleasure out of submitting to things like out-of-body experiences and ego death, which is like the most wonderful thing I've ever heard because I thought I was the only one. XD

Oh you don't have to tell me, that's what I'm trying to get around with this whole getting back into tripping business. And on that note, have you been tinkering around in your head at all lately? Hehehe, I have been quite busy though! It's been a hell of a year. But yeah, this girl is fucking fantastic, wonderful, amazing. X) I don't even know where to begin.... The first and most noticeable thing, something we both picked up on about each other from literally the very start, is that is that the way we think is so similar. It's eerily similar. I've never met someone else in my life who comes even remotely close to thinking the same way that I do, and it's so obvious just in the way that we express ourselves, the language we use, the way we describe our imaginations, our likes and dislikes, our passions and dreams, just... literally everything.

Cheers ^_^ Haha philosophizing only takes me so far - it's sooo damn difficult trying to see beyond the veil of human existence. And !!! It's like you've lived three bloody lifetimes since I've been gone - full speed ahead eh! I don't even know where to start, haha it's like being in a sweet shop. What's this girl like then? Seems she's made you feel pretty damn awesome and amped. Also, the spirit molecule, good ole' DMT.... what was your experience like... did you wake up with alien-like entities probing you and calibrating your brain? :O

Oh... and joining the BDSM community eh, what does that entail?

Aww, well get better soon! :c I've been facing some of that myself.... Well, I hope the philosophical life has been treating you well. I have been up to SO much it's not even funny.... It would take so fucking long to get you caught up, and that's on the chemical stuff alone. But let's see if I can get it all out in the short version here.... Started actually getting into school, broke up with my boyfriend, joined the local BDSM community, hit 100 lucid dreams, reached the point of manifesting things in my line of sight, got lazy and stopped trying, came up with a unified neurotheory of sex/drugs/dreams, had a minor freakout and left DV, became a theater nut, decided to go polyamorous, got a pizza delivery job, smoked some DMT, started obsessing about psychedelics again, came up with a plan to move out, met the most fucking incredible girl in the world... and that was like two weeks ago lol. Holy fucking shit, Jay, this girl.

Aly, glad to see you too. ^_^ I've been good for the most part - trying to beat this damned cold virus at the moment though. X_X Where have I been...that is the question.. my lazy ass has mostly just been pondering and doing life. Anyway, what you been up to? Any crazy discoveries on the chemical front?

Jay!!!! You're back!! It's so great to see you! How have you been!? Where the hell have you been??