Silence11
Member

The sun hits hard outside while I walk on an empty square. I hold my chin up thinking no thoughts since nothing can possibly come to mind at this point. I continue walking, rubbing my chin as I do and wandering aimlessly for a solid 6 seconds or so. Turns out when one is doing a whole lot of nothing you'll naturally end up doing something up there in your head. Give me enough time to waste in-dream and I'll eventually figure things out.

I begin thinking.

Wait! This is a dream!

A sense of relief washes over me.

How long has it been?

I push forward and now it dawns on me this realization that I'm still here, alive in the dream.

I'm still dreaming.

There is no restriction in place, to my surprise. No restraint of this body. What's more, I bear no reference to my real body outside this place. No vibratory force is pulling me out of my dream tonight.

I run in circles one, two, three, four times even! I run around and smile from ear to ear the entire time. I stop suddenly and focus on the ground in front of me. Can I pull this off? A need to tear the terrain apart and open it up from each side, and push whatever is below to the sky and above. We're talking a small demonstration of power here. I hold still and stare at the spot where everything is about to happen.

Wait, what in God's name am I supposed to do here?!

I picture the events in my head and await the inevitable.

Nothing.

I lose grasp of myself in an instant. Everything turns dark all of a sudden and a force rushes in and strikes me all over. I know now what is actually going to happen.

The dream ends.

I managed to get a working wbtb this time, somewhere around 6:00 a.m. It's been a difficult week, man. Faulty AC, hottest days of August. Climate here is supposed to change come next week. Hopefully the worst is behind me and I can return to a normal set of days were sleep is easy. I should've remembered more dreams but I think rest had to catch up to me with night after night of sleep deprivation. At least I slept well today.

Dream 1: I dreamt about... a coach? Some new coach for a football team. Damn, I can't remember a single thing written here on my phone. It says here the coach used to get more lucid? He spent time visiting dreams like watching players. Yeah, sure. Whatever.

Dream 2: Two monkeys competing for who had the longest and best dreams. One thinks he had a larger flight than the other, that he can get lucid faster too. I also remember watching a movie inside a theater with close family. Superman, Flash and the rest of the DC heroes travel using their powers across the city. It looked pretty cool in hindsight.

Who knows when I had these dreams. I couldn't recall much but wbtb had a very strong influence nonetheless. Almost all my dreams had something to do about dreaming or lucidity. I did take 15-20 min. practicing MILD before returning to bed. I woke up two more times in the morning. I could've, wait no, I should've done more wbtbs but it is what it is. I really wanted to be fully rested today. Tomorrow is another day as they say.

I keep going back to the significance about dream presence and how having a smooth transition between the sleep and wake states are strong precursors of lucidity. The dreams that are easiest to remember are the smoothest to transition to once they end. They recollect faster. They stay with you because they never left. Two days prior the AC broke down in my home and the heat here is unbearable (literally counting the days left until August ends!). And therein lies the importance of a healthy sleep schedule. I could not remember a thing when I woke up the next day that night. Mind you, the strong impression of a fading memory lingers about the room. You know you dreamt somewhere, sometime. You know you were there. But it's so hard to remember now. I struggle in retracing the events of the night. Is this the first time I'm awake? Maybe not, but I am so tired now, perhaps I rolled back to sleep? And that's the thing. Only 4 or 5 hours are not enough to care, not enough to remember. The memory lies so far from me now. You feel a gap in between the dream and the path to recollection. Between sleep and wake.

Today is different fortunately, no thanks to the faulty AC. Stare at my notes and you see a gradual lengthening of each entry. They correspond to the time slept with each recollection:

~ 4:00 a.m. entry: Watching a kid being chased on a street. Who was he running away from?

~ 6:00 a.m. entry: An old friend visits my home. He is participating at the Olympics this year. Funny, he mentions he's competing for the 5 km race; surprising since he was never the running type in my eyes. We're driving on our way to pay a family visit but my friend sits on the backseat and pulls out a videogame controller to steer the car. We pass by a restaurant or supermarket. There's tons of people walking in and out of the establishment and many more so outside chatting, enjoying their time.

~ 8:00 a.m. entry: I had made plans for a fancy dinner with this girl I met somewhere. When we arrive a nicely dressed gentleman asks us to fill out some forms and to hand out our passports. My girlfriend willingly signs the paper but I am having the hardest of times reading what it says. The words written on it are slightly attenuated and some of the letters can barely keep a straight line. I give up and sign the form anyway. We sit before a large wooden table with other people. My girlfriend is now addressing the table and begins an avid discussion about movies, their composition, filming and all these little details that honestly escape my grasp. Everyone else is enjoying the conversation. They make their counterpoints, they agree with others. I limit myself to nod along and pretend that I know what they're talking about.

I'm starting to see my dream recall improving, my dream presence increasing night to night. I thought I would've had to wait a couple of months but I see the effects of the practice I did all those years ago is still there. Anyway, three dreams today. Long dreams. One in the early hours of the night.

Dream 1: I have written here on my phone that I was trying to meditate to a family competition that was going on in my dreams but honestly I can't remember that part now. I do remember the competition. I remember there was a treadmill, a stationary platform and people where crawling from end to end, left to right. It wasn't particularly that big of a space either, the single running machine inside an otherwise empty room. Toddlers had the most trouble getting to the other side. I think an elderly man had to use his cane to propel his body across the platform, he might've had a leg. All in all it was very evenly matched.

Dream 2: Oh yeah, this one is rather interesting. I was having a conversation with someone yesterday and I mentioned how dream presence feels like a smooth transition between dream and being awake. But this dream, however, feels longer than most other dreams despite the transition being a lot larger than usual. I was present during the dream, then I don't what happened after, either I woke up and immediately went back to sleep or had another dream, but a good chunk of time transpired before I recalled this dream later in the night. Anyway, from what I remembered I was attending a baseball game. Everywhere is draped with protective nets around us. I was trying to get the attention of a beautiful lady sitting next to me but she was more interested in rooting for her team. In fact, I think I should've been paying more attention to my team but I really wanted to impress her. A good friend of mine was sitting to my left and wanted some tips on how to play the game.

Dream 3: This is the longest dream of the three, post wbtb meditation and 10-15 min. MILD / prospective memory rehearsal. My family and I arrived at the parking lot before a massive complex at night. The parking lot itself was huge and filled with cars all around. Whoever organized this party spared no expense in the construction of this place. They even had a band playing at the end of the parking lot. Can't remember what song they were playing but the space was packed. Inside the complex was no joke either. A pool, a home theater, people chatting, people dancing, yeah my brothers and I were staying the night all right. We had brought our change of clothes just in case, changed to our swimming trunks, ready to go. Personally, I was interested in meeting the organizers you know, sometimes a little networking helps every now and then. And then, everyone starts leaving. Just straight up stood up and left. Figured there was another party they had to be in. Well, now I wanted to go there too.

We try following them to the parking lot. I get lost along the way and end up in front of a door that leads to some woman's business office. I notice a friend in-line with his partner waiting for their turn. I can't remember his name or face now. They are let in and I walk with them to see what this is all about. The business woman acts very sweet and makes a business proposition, I can't remember what it was I just watch my friend's partner playing videogames on a nearby tv. I leave and end up at the home theater. It's not exactly full but there's people here watching a movie. I meet an old crush of mine as I walk through the file that leads to the exit. We have a cool chat and I stand there watching her leave the theater.

Night of November 22, 2020

I was dating this beautiful girl that, for whatever reason, was being shunned by most of her peers. We had arrived at a restaurant, some establishment that belonged to one of her close friends. To my knowledge, we had agreed on the place for me to finally meet them. When we got there however, they took every opportunity to avoid us. I walked over to the bar and noticed she hadn't actually made a reservation. Frustrated, I stormed with her out of the restaurant.

Outside, a light bluish shade had fell upon the row of houses as they stretched along a wintry road in the middle of the night. The moon was uncharacteristically willing tonight, shining the way as I headed down the road. Far in front of me, I noticed a couple holding hands and moving at a brisk pace. It appeared to me they had gotten out of a restaurant only moments ago. I don't know why but I felt compelled to catch up to them. Though I increased the speed I could never reach the pair as they turned left at the corner and disappeared behind a wall. Once I made my way to the end they were long gone.

The street opened up to an avenue with four lanes, spreading out indefinitely into the distance. Adjoining the last lane on the right stood a factory of manufacturing Coca-Cola products. Short stacks of billowing smoke escaped from one of its pipes every once in a while. Apart from the steady swaying of leaves from shrubs and trees alike nearby, everything else remained peacefully quiet. I was very much alone here. I realized now that I had nowhere else to go, no home to arrive to, no bed to sleep on. I considered taking a risk and stay close to any stranger's residence. It'd be only for a night and for a few hours at most. I'd be gone before morning. Before I made my decision, I looked back on the road and it was then that I remembered. I remembered this was a dream. Things were markedly clear now.

I stood there by the sidewalk, staring into space while contemplating this thought, and all of a sudden I blinked and appeared on my bed, watching a video on my phone. It wasn't long, however, before I realized again that this was also a dream. I repeated the thought carefully: Remember, it is a dream. I tried lifting up and that was when I felt an immense pressure weighing down on me. It's as if I was breaking past the limit of an invisible wall. It occurred to me that I may have been trying to move my physical body, in bed, at the same time I tried doing so in the dream. Despite this and contrary to any other occasion, I would not wake up. I noticed that as long I kept focus, I could push over to the other side. No vibrations this time. Inch by inch my body began to rise, that is, until a split second later I lost sight of my goal and the dream began to fade. Everything went black for a bit before I opened my eyes to reality.