MissC
Lurker

really disappointed that i haven't had very good recall lately. seems like i focused too wildly on being able to & thus lost the ability. just going to relax & enjoy reading/commenting for some others until it returns.

this one i remember from the other night.. i had to pee so bad. i was in a dark house somewhere.. filled with strange people (as most of my dreams lately go) & i was searching for a bathroom. i ended up downstairs in the basement of this strange dark house & found a small toilet room. i squatted over & peed for what felt like forever.. missing a lot & splashing everywhere. looked to the side of me for the paper to wipe & the small toilet room had turned into a real dingey looking public stall. large tp dispenser with the paper hanging out & draped all over the floor. i tore some off, cleaned up & walked out into an abandoned kitchen of a restaurant.

went through a large gray double door into a parlor/restaurant looking area.. very dingey & looked like it should have been condemned. all the same people i had been mingling with at the house prior were there & upon my return we walked out the front doors into bright hot sunlight. looks like a country western movie outside.. cool parlors lined the sandy roads & i had to pee again. ran off from my friends into a different parlor but inside was a modern looking school. nearly peeing my pants now, i find the restroom & run in.. all three stalls with walls were full, so i ran out & found a gym/locker room. there were toilets in the shower area, but no walls or curtains for privacy. everything had a pale blue "glow" in this toilet area.. i didnt even care if someone saw me, i ran the farthest toilet & starting going before i could get my panties out from under my skirt.. again squatting cause i will not sit on a public seat.. i could feel the burning in my thighs from all the squatting i had to do that day.. finished up & wandered back out into the sandy country western scene..

before i could even find my friends again i had to turn off into another parlor to pee but before i could find a toilet i woke up..

and as i sat up in bed & opened my eyes (i think i sat up before i was awake?) 3054 (i thought it "thirty, fifty-four") urgently popped into my mind.. i said outloud to myself "thirty, fifty-four?" .. quick looked at my clock almost expecting that to be the time but then after realizing thirty, fifty-four doesn't even make sense in military time, i shrugged it off & ran off to pee. lol. that whole day in my waking life i must have peed like 10 times.. weird.

in my dream i woke up in my bed feeling a stinging in my chest. got up & went to the bathroom to look at it.. first time ever that i've seen myself directly in a dream.. standing in front of the large bathroom mirror.. saw cuts.. no blood.
noticed a large, deep one in the center of my chest.. removed my shirt & watched it spread.
i wasn't alarmed .. even after the wound opened so wide that i stood there somewhat stunned, just watching my organs twirl around inside me for a few moments.
then i just squeezed myself shut, put a few pieces of bandage tape over the cut & wrapped my torso with an ace bandage.. then crawled back into bed.
woke up feeling really weird

missed a few nights.. i've been unforgiveably distracted lately.. only a couple days with horrible recall... have been jotting things in my handwritten journal though. one day i'll sit and compile something so it's all in one place.. anyway.

last night dreamt there was a party going on at my grandmother's house. well.. partially here & partially where my ex is living now since our break up (his friend's house) and a good friend of mine that i havent seen in a few weeks, maybe a couple months now, was there. we were hugging and talking up a storm.. then i got distracted showing another friend a "wreck my journal" that my ex had given me for christmas a couple years ago. showing her all the fond memories of he & i that i collected in it & showed her an autograph page in the journal (which doesnt actually exist) & had her sign it. when i turned back to talk to sonyta (the friend i havent seen in a while) she was gone, but left a note on the counter .. i know i picked it up and read the words feeling somewhat sad but i dont remember what it said. when i put it down, i noticed she had left her rings (she always wore at least three rings on her fingers that i remember) on the counter with the note. still feeling a little down about her departing while i was distracted, i started mumbling about how uncomfortable and bloated i was feeling & that i was suddenly crabby.. now in the kitchen of the house i lived in for a short while when my parents (now looong divorced) lived together... searching through the freezer next to where i found the note (on the counter in my grandmother's house next to her fridge). then a guy i dont know in waking life asked me why i was being so huffy & put his arounds me.. a hispanic looking man that i sensed was some friend, but again, i dont know him.. and i was comforted. then after a long hug with him, i went out to the living room area, but was now in the house of my ex's friend where they were playing some football video game on his huge flat screen. i was standing in front of them marvelling at a gigantic grateful dead bears picture he had on the wall. (i love grateful dead bears & grateful dead tye-dye shirts, although i'm not a huge fan of the band) then i turned to ask my ex if he wanted to go for a walk with me. he mumbled something about being tired, as usual, and that he had to go to work soon.. we argued for a minute about how he never has time for me, then i stormed out the front door for my walk. i was looking down at my feet while i was walking.. thought it odd that i was wearing some kind of combat boots (i never wear heavy boots) and kicked at the loose peachy colored gravel that replaced the sidewalks.

Fragment 1:
I was walking down the street a block away from my grandmothers house.. a neighbor comes out and is walking with me. She has shoulder length blonde hair.. wearing a white tee shirt and faded jeans. She was deaf but could speak.. we carried on a conversation.. not sure what about though .
I spot a flyer on the street..white paper.. bold black lettering.. looked like it was outlining information for a summer camp.. or some sport sign up flyer like my son would get sent home from school.. I glanced over it quick then crumpled it up in my hand.
I walked up the front porch steps to my moms old house, (which is right next to where my grandmother still lives so there's no jump here) ..waved goodbye to the neighbor lady I was talking with. Stopped in the hallway to remove my shoes.. I watched my feet kick them next to a dark brown wicker hamper. Turned and went thru a doorway to a small family room. Walls were either a light green or blue.
There was my son attempting to vacuum the large dark area rug ..behind him on the couch my brothers sat sharing a Nintendo ds game. Aiden (my son) got tangled in the hose of the two piece vacuum & my brothers (both similar in age to my son) got up from the couch to help me untangle it.
They bickered about how to untangle it and as I walked away I saw Aiden let go of the vacuum and it began flailing around like a powerful hose would.
As the boys screamed and scrambled to catch the vacuum, I headed back out to the hallway and towards the stairs to go up to my room .. I think there was more here but I can't recall at this time.

Fragment 2:
I woke up in a large bed.. all clean white sheets rustled about from the nights sleep. The room was bright from the one large window with sheer white curtains. Natural sunlight filling the room white & pure.. small room.. nothing in it or on the walls.. just the big bed which took up most of the room. I was happy. Very pleasant mood as I stretched and got up to find where my boyfriend had gone.
I headed out into a dark narrow hallway (this is a place I've never been).. spotted a dim yellow light spilling out into the hall from a door left ajar to the left at the end of the hall.
Pushed the door open into what was a small bathroom. Sink and mirror to the right. Shower to the left with a black shower curtain. Black curtains on the one window. Dark green walls. There was my boyfriend sitting on the toilet to the right facing the shower. Holding a baby looking exhausted.
Baby was only in a diaper.. had blonde curly hair and lots of freckles on his cheeks. (I am medium skinned, dark hair, dark eyes but whenever I have a baby in my dreams it has blonde curly hair and fair skin and light eyes..my boyfriend is fair skinned blue eyes red hair freckles)
As he handed the baby up to me..he was a good size probably about 6 months old. I said to the baby "is daddy pooping!?" In my baby talk and he started laughing. While I was holding him I said to brandon (my boyfriend) "ew look at his face he looks so evil when he laughs at you like that" but we laughed and B responded "well what do you expect, he is our child" then I woke up.

*my boyfriend and I recently separated to take some time apart .. we never had or don't currently have a child together.. im curious of opinions on what this kind of dream would mean..

Fragment 1:
I was walking through a shopping mall alone.. place was virtually empty.. only saw a few couples walking in the shadows across the way from me. It felt like it was after hours cause all the lights were dim. Most of the shops were closed.. lights out, gates down.. boxes packed up inside like they'd been closed for a while or going out of business.
I passed two young miserable looking girls walking together along the rail that overlooks the downstairs level.. near them was the escellator..out of order ..they were dressed in black, baggy clothes..both with shoulder length, black hair blocking most of their faces.. looking down but talking to each other.. I could see thier lips moving, but heard no sound, although I was passing them at only about 3 feet away.
Not too far behind them was another young girl.. don't think she was with them.. short curly dirty blonde hair..wearing a thin gold headband.. loose fitting, light purple/lavendar dress that dragged on the floor.. looked lacey..tied at the waist with a thin brown belt.. pale yellow or tan light cardigan over it. Long strapped purse hanging on her side, bouncing off her hip as she walked. Looked like she had her arms folded around a large book & was making faces, mocking the girls in all black that walked ahead of her. She didn't notice me, but I smiled at herand could hear myself laugh.
Then I passed a store with bright lights on inside, shining white/yellow light into the dark of the mall I was walking in.. still upstairs.. the "jay" character from Kevin smiths Jay & silent Bob movie was standing in the light outside the shop.. laughing & signing an autograph to someone inside that was just out of sight. Only saw the hand reaching out to take what looked like a magazine that Jay signed.. I remember excitedly thinking "hey that's Jay!" But didn't slow as I passed to meet him..
Then it skips to where I'm walking through a back way of the mall where customers aren't usually supposed to go.. looking for a way downstairs.. I don't recall actually going down any steps but came to a large brown metal double swinging door.. as I went through it I heard a lot of commotion in another language.. some kind of Chinese. I was in the back of a store.. walking past crates of bananas & some other produce.. but mostly bananas..stacked as high as the ceiling ..I remember thinking I was going through the storage room for a smoothie stand. Went through another door ..walked through a thick white cloud of steam into the back of a Chinese restaurant..which led out to a larger grocery store.. bright florescent lights.. steamy freezers to the left and packaged meat to the right.. tall warehouse like shelving of pantry items straight ahead..I nodded and smiled as I passed the cashiers in red vests standing in their aisles.. and back out into the downstairs of the same dark empty mall.
I did then pass a smoothie stand and giggled remembering all those bananas.. and thought o yea thats definitely what it was for.
Then past a few more closed places to an exit. As I approached the door it appeared to be twilight outside, but when I went through the door it was cold and dark outside.. parking lot was empty and street lights glowing orange in some misty fog in the distance.
I could see my breath in front of me and my hands as I lit a cigarette before heading down the sidewalk away from the mall.

Fragment 2:
Begins with head already under the hatchback of some car..it was silver so I thought it was mine..but mines not a hatchback.. I was reaching through the trunk area and trying to spray paint something black against what appeared to be a bare metal roll cage.. I accidentally got some of the black paint on the silver body inside the trunk and looked out through the passenger side back door.. saw it was daylight.. sun was shining and I could tell I was starting to sweat.. I think the car was in a garage but I looked out to what seemed like a large empty parking lot.
I called to my boyfriend who I never actually saw in the fragment but I understood him to be there with his friend also working on cars to quickly throw me a rag to wipe the paint off where I missed.. I caught the soft rag he tossed me. As I wiped the stray paint I thought it was strange that it looked and came off easily more like dirty water from after cleaning a paintbrush with black paint.. but just thought o well at least its coming off.. cheap paint.. then I woke up.