cherishtheYOU
Lurker

Well, about 6 months ago maybe longer, I had a few friends I always hung out with.
I met them through an ex, when we broke up I kept hanging out with that group and my ex went with his original "homies" haha. There were only 2 girls in the group, me and my friend Jamie. Both of us like people. No strict gender policy. She liked me a lot and I liked her as well but she lived in another state (7 hours away) So I told her that was the reason it'd never work. But we did have a intimate relationship. We cuddled a lot and talked and it WAS amazing but I really really messed up I believe. She found out about some things later and she hated me. Or strongly disliked me I guess you could say. At the same time as me liking her, I also liked my boyfriend I have now . (this is long but its kind of important to me for a couple dreams) well Jamie and I became friends again she forgave me surprisingly . She hasn't been down since shes been upset and I am nervous to how it will go when I do see her. STUPIDLY I feel my feelings coming back for her. I think I know why that is happening though... and it's not important enough to lengthen this anymore then it already is.

She has dreams of me still both romantic and intimate. And for the first time a couple weeks ago I had my first dream about her. We were both just sitting in my friends room on a bed together just talking and enjoying each others company and with a unspoken bond growing. It felt really good..

Last night, I had dream she was down in Florida again and we were all hanging out at my friends house drinking. Jamie and I were sharing a big chair and she kept kissing me and my boyfriend just kept looking at me not really saying anything. I loved it though. I also hated it because I was almost completely sure when she sobered up she would be so mad at me for letting her kiss me after all we have been through. But it was cute little kisses she kept giving me! And a lot of them! It was the sweetest. Anyway, everyone ends up going to sleep. I decided to sleep in a different room away from everyone else. That's basically it. I told her about the dream this morning and I hate that both times I've had those dreams I wake up HAVING to tell her, at least, that she was in them.