I have had lucid dreaming for a long time now, on and off for a long time...Up until recently I never knew there was a formal name for this,,,,,,,,I gave this my own name, which is base is more supersticious than any thing else....

I can fly.........I can do somersaults in the air..........giving me the thrills associated with this so called state....I also have had out of body exeriences...the medications I was taking once for anxiety and some slight depression...plays a part in this , because now that I do not take as many
I was told by. my md. that I would get more of them.......

I have talked among my own circle of people and no one has been able to completely relate with what happens to me after these so called lucid dream...

when researched it..I found it strange that people would even want to learn to do it......as I on the other hand find it not uesefull in helping cope with my problems, or face my fears.........on and on.........you get the picture...

I have done reality checks...I have done and tried to change my sleep my naps so I dont get one......After all these years of having them,,,have they made me smarter. wiser....no...............People I know love them,,,and when they are o.k....and one is flying for examples...this is quite the ride, and no high compares with this,,,,,,,no drugs.........no weed........nothing,,,and I should know I have dabbed with and was addicted to pain killers once...not any more....I take a pill at night especially so I can go right into sleep instead of this transitional state,,,,,,,,I call hell..........or heaven............but last night after just thinking this thought "oh i have not had one for a while"
i cursed my self i guess....because my lucid nightmare, was awful.......i tried waking my self up twice..........i did once and went right back into the hell that I was actually felit like I was in but with no control...fear took over,,,I knew my heart was actually beating hard...becuase after its all said and done I wake up shaken....one time I was being thrown around in my room, during one......being thrown with an incredible force, which i succumbed too because fighting it was way beyond my lucid capabilites, meaning I tried to wake up............i could not...My eyes i feel flicker with movement.....the strenght of what was ever throwing me like some doll was incredible...a force so strong..........that when I finally woke up...........I felt like I had been in a struggle..................I have sounds with mine.............and after last night,,,,i got up finally was crying with my son, and trying to remember what was being shouted at me word for word, by what I thought were demons......I was so frightned.......i took my pills like I should have, and I would have not have felt so disturbed now. because I would have no recollection of it.....I remember thinking write this down what these words were, because I rember thinking what an odd thing to say to me,,,from demons...so called..........I mean this is my subconscious coming into my realm of semi conciouseness............in them I feel just that I am somewhere in between...............I hate them...............my feelings only on this issue...I know others feel and see it different.....and like to screw around with them, but I for one...........dont..................if I could understand perhaps how and in which way someone thinks that you gain from thesek,,,I would love to hear some comments...........but sounds I hear are so loud,,,,,,,,,,and real.............but not.....................weird weird weird.............I am a fifty year old female...............not that this makes a difference.......well,,,,,i wont write that in blood thats for sure, I am no expert......but on having them, the way I do...........welll..............Im speechless.............and I am a writer, and last nights was awful.............I had no control or means of escaping unti i saw what I saw...........images far away.........tunnels..........sound.........light. .........faint.............one eye staring back at me..............and the distance i travel to make out what I see so far away................on and on.........I guess im never speechless........