Core Identity/Soulmate

[Amurehna]

I wasn't sure where to put this. I know other people have posted about soulmate dreams but it felt odd to just jump in there shouting about my experiences when I've only just arrived at DV...and now I feel silly because that's pretty much all I've been doing since I joined. HAHAHA....<.< anyway.... The dreams began when I was thirteen. At first his appearance always changed, and I had a very different idea of what he was supposed to look like. I marked these dreams by how true they felt. I could hear his voice and actually feel him if he touched me. Recently there's been a...new development. A friend of mine did a Seeing. She described a man. At first I was surprised that he wasn't what I remembered from my teenage dreams, but I was stricken by how -right- her view of him seemed. I have had more dreams in the past few years than ever before. It's not just that I see him, but I become someone different. I answer to a different name, and it is so ingrained in my subconscious that in a dream where I was myself and sitting next to my boyfriend on the couch, he said "I'm worried you aren't acting like yourself." "Don't sound so concerned, I'm still Saja." Then I panicked, remembering who I was talking to, "JULIE." I corrected. "I'm still Julie." I even look different, not by a lot I suppose. My hair is long and black, skin lighter, face a little longer. I discovered his name, and I often go looking for him in my lucid dreams. He's usually the one that does the finding though. The strangest part is how I've suddenly developed a 'type'. I'm not really attracted to people, I don't notice men. I frustrate my boyfriend by never even commenting on actors I think are attractive because I honestly don't think about it. Until now. I notice people with some of his features and I become a complete bubble head. It's awkward and annoying, but I wouldn't stop if I could. Is that insane? I was going to share some of my experiences but suddenly they seem too personal. Does anyone else have this kind of...core identity? Someone else they just are in the dream world that feels more true than reality? I forgot about the book thing, in hindsight I realized that half the book series I frequently reread have a tall red-haired man paired with a small dark-haired woman I'm kind of having poster's regret on this one but I guess I'll leave it here. =/