It sounds like sleep apnea makes you lucid but you're in sleep paralysis at least some of the time. The other dreams, where you're in your bed and get up and walk around the house etc sound like false awakenings.
You need to train yourself to always do reality checks whenever you wake up - before you do anything else. If you can make yourself realize you're dreaming then you;ll be lucid! But the difference is, because you used a reality check, it should be a more stale and powerful lucidity than what you're having, which seem to be very low awareness.
Get used to always doing RCs when you wake up - learn stabilization techniques and think about using them when you realize you're lucid - then when you do manage to get lucid you have a better chance of taking control.
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