Sometimes I really need to feel peaceful, I really need that feeling of security and relaxation. But I'm always worrying about something. I need something that really works, some way I can just loose myself in tranquility. I don't even care if it's a false tranquility (whatever one of those is) just so long as it keeps me sane. I have to have a sort of 'time out' state.

Meditation usually just presses the reset button, so that I can focus on something I need to do, but it hasn't so far given me any deep feelings of relaxation. I'm starting to feel like I need it, because I'm just too paranoid all the time. Nothing else: computer games, music, socialising, bathing, reading, sleeping, cannabis or alcohol... none of it does the trick properly because although it can make me feel somewhat good there's always that little nagging guilt in the back of my head that there's something fearful I should be thinking about. I think if I don't get these peaceful time-outs I could go a bit off the rails like I did earlier this year.

What do you guys do to really 'put yourselves out', if anything?