I read through the site and I just can't imagine the feeling. But the fact that you've dealt with it this far must mean something. It's awful that doctors won't listen to you, but a support group will. You are part of something which will allow you to feel what other people are feeling in the same situation. The more people who get together, the quicker a solution can be found. Just remember that you're never alone. I only wish I could feel what you're feeling, if only to be able to help you through your depression.
Please don't let it end like this, you would leave a depressing void in the world.
I wish I could be of some real help and just make the pain go away, but I just want you to know that you do have a purpose, no matter how fucked up it sounds...There's so much yet to be experienced from the world. To give up now would be to hinder progress for oneself and other people.
Please take care, we all want you around! We all have so much to learn from one another.