This is what we call a "just friends" situation. She likes you, just as a friend (hence the name) |
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Ok i'm workin part time in a pizza place right now and theres this girl working there who i like alot. We get along well, and talk pretty much all the time. But theres this other guy who works there to and he likes her aswell. I can tell. He always makes her laugh with jokes and is alway being funny around her, which she likes, from what i can tell the way she responds to it. She touches his arm and laughs out loud and i can tell by her body language that she prolly likes him. But the thing is, she talks to me alot more than she talks to him and only really talks to him when he starts the convo, whereas she always seems to start the convo when shes talkin' to me. So i can't tell who she likes. She talks to me alot and i get the feelin' she likes me, but she seems to like the other guy to, the way shes acts around him. I dun wanna ask her out just in case she doesn't like me like that and then it'll be awkward working with her every day. What gives? |
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This is what we call a "just friends" situation. She likes you, just as a friend (hence the name) |
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She's playing a simple game of hard to get with the other guy, in order to make the other guy think she's interested in you so he falls harder for her and pursues her more. Also, she already knows that you are interested in her too otherwise she wouldn't be trying to play both sides. |
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The Art of War <---> Videos
Remember: be open to anything, but question everything
"These paradoxical perceptions of our holonic higher mind are but finite fleeting constructs of the infinite ties that bind." -ME
My, my, how hasty. It's narrowmindedness like that, that makes it easy to manipulate people. |
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My "I like her" is based on her personality aswell as i think shes real attractive. But, even if she doesn't like me more than a friend i still don't want her to go out with this guy. Its just i know this kinda guy and i know what hes like. His whole approach to her is all based on the way she looks, and nothin' else. And i don't want her to go out with him cause i know eventually he'll hurt her and he won't care. He just wants to show off and say he has a hot girlfriend, without caring at all about anything else about her or her feelings. And whats worse is she doesn't see it. She can't see thats all he's interested in, and i think if i detach myself from her, it might make her get close to me like that, rather than him. Or, if it changes nothing, then how do i stop her from going out with him anyway, without lookin' jealous or whatever? |
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No offense man, but that was spoken like a true 'Nice guy, but never gets laid' routine. The world works in mysterious ways but being honest with everyone isn't one of them...Sorry. Either play the game or get played. End of story. |
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The Art of War <---> Videos
Remember: be open to anything, but question everything
"These paradoxical perceptions of our holonic higher mind are but finite fleeting constructs of the infinite ties that bind." -ME
You're simply "existing" (instead of living) in your usual self-absorbed routine. You're in no position to give advice about interacting with other people when you yourself follow a philosophy of not caring for anyone and thinking that existence is meaningless. |
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In reference to my philosophy, I'm not simply existing. I'm simply enjoying the meaningless dichotomy called existence I create for myself. I don't set boundaries for myself with pointless moral codes. I'm not equating kindness to weakness, nor am I comparing kindness to hatred. However, one is definitely not more important than the other, nor can they exist without the other which your elitist attitude alludes to. Check the arrogance brother, we are all one and the same. And, you say I'm being narrow-minded? Morality allows for nothing more than your self-aggrandized random system of rights and wrongs, of which, you will always hypocritically fall short. |
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The Art of War <---> Videos
Remember: be open to anything, but question everything
"These paradoxical perceptions of our holonic higher mind are but finite fleeting constructs of the infinite ties that bind." -ME
I think it sounds like she likes you more than the other guy, since you said she initiate conversations with you, but not with him. |
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I believe SolSkye is absolutely right with his line of thinking. Many people may not realize it but that is how things work most of the time. I havent logged on my account here forever but just reading those posts made realize how true his statements were and I had to express agreement with him. Kindness is important as Merlock said so why not mix a bit of both strategies here. You can still play the manipulation game and be a good person. Being an ass about it is just an option. |
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LD's since joining - 4
I think I'm with King on this one. The charming loudmouth is probably a bit overbearing for her. She enjoys the attention and knows she's got him bagged if she ever wants him. On the surface, yah, he's funny, etc - but what about the rest of him? Maybe she sees through all his charm. |
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Hahaha. |
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I don't claim to be any kind of major lady's man or anything, but I have learned some things about the ways most young women think. I understand this stuff much better than I put it into practice, but I can tell you what works. I will tell you what I know. It is very, very rare for a romantic relationship to get off the ground when it didn't begin with sexual arousal. Eventually, a woman might appreciate what a nice, caring, genuine guy you are. The more intellectual and emotional depth a woman has, the more she will be attracted to those qualities from the beginning, but still... it all starts with arousal. "Hi, I'm Mr. Nice Guy. I am very honest. I want to be totally good to you at all times," is not the way to initially get anything going EXCEPT with a woman who wants to control you. That's right. If the Mr. Nice Guy routine is completely sincere, all it will attract is women who plan on eventually telling you what to do and when. Well, it will also attract some of the women you have been completely ignoring. But being Mr. Nice Guy with a little bit of playing games (smiling flirtation involving playfully challenging some of the things she says) and not appearing all that easy to get will do the trick with a lot of women. Always keep the attitude that she is just one candidate among several. If that attitude doesn't show in your behavior in the beginning, you will get nowhere, unless she is a control freak. Don't act like you are an applicant at a job interview. Act like you are a boss at a job interview, except more playful. If you get nervous, visualize her loving being spanked by you while dressed up like a nun. |
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You are dreaming right now.
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The world is a funny place like that, Vex Kitten. If you think you can't fall victim that means you are ever the more susceptible to become prey to it. This is tried and true knowledge I'm giving him, and it happens all the time. You say you'd ignore me, but I guaruntee you that you wouldn't even know it was a strategy because that's not how I operate... under the radar, at all times. |
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The Art of War <---> Videos
Remember: be open to anything, but question everything
"These paradoxical perceptions of our holonic higher mind are but finite fleeting constructs of the infinite ties that bind." -ME
Do you happen to have a pic of what you look like Vex Kitten? I'd like to see if a preconception of mine is right. |
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The Art of War <---> Videos
Remember: be open to anything, but question everything
"These paradoxical perceptions of our holonic higher mind are but finite fleeting constructs of the infinite ties that bind." -ME
Showing Disinterest is a funny thing. |
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The Best of my dream journal
MoSh: How about you stop trying to define everything, and just accept what you experience, and explore it.
- From the DJ of Waking Nomad!
I don't know about Vex Kitten's tendencies because I know there are women out there who are exceptions to what is so common, but I think what is so common is hilarious, but sad at the same time. There are so many women for whom, if you ask them what kind of guy they are attracted to, what they say shows that they have no Earthly idea what it is they actually are attracted to. They will say things like, "I want a guy who is sweet and cares about me and is funny and acts nice," and then they get in the car with the boyfriend who is some extremely arrogant asshole who treats here like a door mat. A typical woman is not looking for the guy who will treat her the best. She is looking for the guy who shows he has the best genes for the survival of her offspring. It is an evolutionary mechanism and not a conscious one. It is so unbelievable to watch women so completely oblivious to the way their chemistry directs them. |
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You are dreaming right now.
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The Best of my dream journal
MoSh: How about you stop trying to define everything, and just accept what you experience, and explore it.
- From the DJ of Waking Nomad!
Well, all fo these posts are very interesting approaches and such. For me at least, I'm not out to play a "game" or manipulate anyone. If I'm interested in someone, I'll show it, but in a subtle way. I don't have any routines or plans or anything like that. I just do what feels natural for me and do not try to put on a show or be someone that I'm not. I think if she is really interrested in you, you'll know. |
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"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
-Mark Twain
DILDs - 4
That passive approach is boring and lame and succeeds in one thing- going nowhere fast. Any girl that would go for that routine is either desperate to be with someone, or ugly, as I said earlier. Neither of which would be a viable option to a confident and attractive individual. I've had girls try the silent and eager approach, it's gross and pathetic. Who wants a weak person who lacks enough confidence to take the bull by the horns, and play the game? Not I. |
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The Art of War <---> Videos
Remember: be open to anything, but question everything
"These paradoxical perceptions of our holonic higher mind are but finite fleeting constructs of the infinite ties that bind." -ME
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