A Question About/for Guys

First of, please don't get offended, I really don't mean to get anyone mad or anything; it's just that I'm curious about something..

I know this guy, and someone told me that he's going to dump his girlfriend after going out with her once or twice cause he wants "more from a relationship"... :roll: Then I thought to myself "Is this normal?"...Do all guys just want to sleep with a girl at this age (late teens...18-20) ? Or is it just me being paranoid and pessimistic? I hope I'm worng because it's a kind of scary thought..

Still, if you think I was rude by asking this, my apologies.

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Originally Posted by Lyla

First of, please don't get offended, I really don't mean to get anyone mad or anything; it's just that I'm curious about something..

I know this guy, and someone told me that he's going to dump his girlfriend after going out with her once or twice cause he wants "more from a relationship"... :roll: Then I thought to myself "Is this normal?"...Do all guys just want to sleep with a girl at this age (late teens...18-20) ? Or is it just me being paranoid and pessimistic? I hope I'm worng because it's a kind of scary thought..

Still, if you think I was rude by asking this, my apologies.
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Well I think 90% out of 100 of guys think about sex 24/7. It's just way we are wired quite frankly. I don't think its a fault...it seems pretty natural. It's not all we want in a relationship but of course it doesnt hurt either. When guys are going through high school through college it seems very important!! After you're a little older 25-35 / older you start to settle down, sex is great although there's lots of other things you need as well.

Hopes this helps!
my 2 cent$
phoen+

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Originally Posted by Lyla

Still, if you think I was rude by asking this, my apologies.
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Yup this is rude! ...lol j/k com'n this is any guys favorite subject I think I speak for all of the Gents when I say no guy will be offended about a conversation in reference to sex. If anything I'm looking for more information. That's all you got? LOL

As for me Yup If I wasn't getting any sex from someone I was dating when I was that age I would drop her. I guess I just had goals. I don't know. My horomones were in the wind back then.

I dont think about sex 24/7...but if i see a girl that is quite attractive, the first thing i think of is..DAMMMMN what i would do to her..

But when it comes to a relationship, i would never cheat...I look for honesty trust and respect..and if this dude just wants to get into a better relationship for sex...then no girl should ever be with him.

Most guys do think about sex I can't argue there but I would want from a relationship then just sex. I think I'd want a proper connection with the girl as well.

Thanks for the quick answers guys! Your honesty is greatly appreciated. :)

Looking forward to more opinions!

While I'm not hardcore to my religion, i still think I should save sex until I'm married. So because I still have close to ten years (I'm 15) before I'll probably marry someone, I drive thoughts about every girl I see from my head. So no I don't think about sex 24/7 but I still think about it.

i hate situations like this. If i had it my way I'd have 2 bisexual girlfriends.

I lost my virginity when I was 14 (I'm 15 now). Sex is the main (if not the only) thing on my mind when I go out on a Friday night and it's completely natural as far as I'm concerned. Eventually I probably will want more from a relationship, but not for a good 15/ 20 years I hope.

The guy who was once my best friend is now just another stranger that I pass in the hallway at school. His little slag of a girlfriend pulled him away from drinking, drugs, fighting and all of his friends. We used to be good mates who would go out on weekends having a good time, but now he's talking about settling down with her and giving his life up at the age of 15. He's been made all mature by his girlfriend who is 17. She is way too mature for the guy he used to be. She changed him. He'll do anything to avoid fighting or any sort of trouble because his stuck up girlfriend will get all stroppy at him. It doesn't seem right to me. He used to be alright, but now he's acting way too grown up, and is nothing like the person he used to be anymore.

Can't speak for anyone other than myself, so, no idea.

Very often, yes. Men (womens to probably) aren't meant to stick to one lady forever. nature programmed us thousands of years ago to 'spread our seed' because it meant securing the human race's survival and it gave us (if the kids had the luck of growing up back then) more people to the tribe.

I think women get even more hornier than men as they get older!

...Can you say that AND look serious?

I remember the time when i entered the teens, everyone of my friends suddenly started talking about fucking everything that walked, and making lame jokes of it. Sure, sex was on my mind the majority of the time, but i had the self control to match it. I always felt like i was years ahead of them. I'm seventeen now, and still a virgin. I'm planning to stick to one girl my entire life, when it comes to sex. Religion has nothing to do about this. I would sooner blow my brains out than cheat. I almost thought i was alone on this matter, but I am glad that's not true.

I'm not about to deny that i think about sex because everybody does, male or female, it's only natural. It's part of being human. But - and maybe i'm in the minority here - i most DEFINITELY don't think about it 24/7. Just like anybody (girls included) if i see a good looking person of the opposite sex i'll check her out. And i do enjoy my porn often enough. But there are much more important things for me to think about. Maybe the fact that i've had extremely little interaction when it comes to relationships plays a part (i haven't had a taste so i don't have the hunger?).

As far as that situation goes, it depends where the guy is coming from. People (even guys) can want a physical relationship without it completely coming down to being horny. Maybe he wants to get closer to her and he feels he's just stuck in the same, distant position with her and he needs more than that with a partner. But that's probably not true in this case since he's only been out with her once or twice.
And then, once again, it depends how clear his intentions were. If he made out that he was serious and was in it for the long run then yeah he's an arse hole. But if he never made any commitments and she realised it wasn't that serious i don't see anything wrong with his decision. There's nothing wrong with being horny and wanting some fun, as long as your partner knows where you're coming from. That's my 2c anyway.

I have never had a girlfreind who i havent had sex with before we strarted going out... Thats just me. On the other side of that, my freind dan has been going with his girl for a year now and she wants it more than he does. Thats my story.

Well, I'm 14 and even though I think about sex (a lot). If I really felt for someone then I would never ever push them or say anything like "I want more from this relationship" So to answer your question... I'd say well... erm... most are like that but...

So, what I understood is that it's something natural for most guys... That's a bit dissapointing, I had this idealistic view that I'd want my first time to be with a guy I was madly in love with and he would be in love with me :whyohwhy:

This is like being told that Santa's not real all over again...

it depends.

you didn't really give us much of a description of the guy.

i know that at 18 i had high hopes of moving in with my girlfriend and working towards marriage... but after that fell through... i kind of just wanted to get laid instead...

short answer:

it's relative to the guy.

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Originally Posted by Lyla

So, what I understood is that it's something natural for most guys... That's a bit dissapointing, I had this idealistic view that I'd want my first time to be with a guy I was madly in love with and he would be in love with me :whyohwhy:

This is like being told that Santa's not real all over again...
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Well you have to keep in mind that people are different. You're going to find guys, somewhere, on all sides of the spectrum. Your idealistic view is only as true as you make it, in that you're going to have to search for that type of guy. So many women are so quick to settle down because they want to be gauranteed something that they just haven't found. The way a guy feels about women owes more to upbringing, than it does primal instinct, if you ask me.

There are many guys out there that are "one-woman men," but I'm sure you're looking for one that you're physically attracted to (of course) and also has that sort of philosophy about relationships. Trust me: He's not going to just fall in your lap. You're how old? How many people end up rushing into marriage at a young age, because they're looking so hard for "the one," and end up with a divorce under their belt at the age of 20something? Take your time. Browse around. Keep your options open. If you're going to save yourself for "the one," realize this is going to be a Hell Of A Task, but many girls can pull it of. If you're not planning on saving yourself, realize that there's a very good chance the first guy you get with is not going to be Mr. SettleDown. You're taking your chances, either way.

And guys go through the same thing (well, many of us) when looking for the right woman to settle down with. Guys have their traits that really urk the hell out of women, and women have their traits that urk the hell out of guys.

"It's the ciiiiiircle of liiiiiiiiife." :P

Anyway, don't get discouraged. There are a lot of men out there looking for the exact same thing you are. (depending on the culture of your community) But, just don't go holding onto any preconceived notions that we're all the same. Doing that is going to lead you to nothing but disillusionment, when you're proven wrong. (kinda like you're feeling now) Just like Jacobo said; "It's relative to the guy."

it depends on the guy, like every other question of personality...
everyones different... if we were all the same life would be pretty screwed up...for eveyone

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That's a bit dissapointing, I had this idealistic view that I'd want my first time to be with a guy I was madly in love with and he would be in love with me [/b]

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i think a fundamental (and largely unacknowledged) truth about human nature is that we are animals first, and social creatures second.

men are "pigs" only in the sense that they are animals. they are willing to be coarse and manipulative and deceitful socially in order to satisfy their sex drive.

appoach almost any group of guys (as a guy) and relate the following story, and you will be virtually guaranteed knowing laughter all around.

"so, i see this girl last night who i've been dying to nail, and i played it perfectly. first i pulled out he "it's like i've always known you" opener, which led to some kissing, before resorting to an "i love you" to get her shirt off"...but then she cut me off and shut down completely, so i played it safe."

"but tommorrow i'm going to use "it's like all my life a piece of me has been missing....you complete me", and i'll get some"

*insert sniggering and handslapping throughout, peaking with an explosion of mirth as the narrator chokes out "you complete me" through shoulder shaking laughter*

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the thing is, these pigs are actually nice guys. they will sound sweet and sincere when they deceive to get laid....a small part of them probably actually means the time-worn, yet still effective cliches which compose the language of love.

but this sensitive part is initially completely subordinate to the animal sex drive.
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of course, there are always exceptions.

I completely disagree.

Sure there are many guys that act like that, just the same as there are many women that do nothing but use the tens of thousands of guys that fall all over them, constantly leading them on to get what they want, with no plans whatsoever on "giving them any," but to paint the picture that that is the "collective guy mentality" is a pretty wrong-headed thing to do.

Maybe being one of the "exceptions," myself, and knowing many "exceptions" in my circle of friends, has made me biased and/or ignorant of some "collective guy mentality." Who knows? But I'm sure there are enough of us to not warrant throwing out the "men are pigs" propaganda. :P

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...but to paint the picture that that is the "collective guy mentality" is a pretty wrong-headed thing to do.

Maybe being one of the "exceptions," myself, and knowing many "exceptions" in my circle of friends, has made me biased and/or ignorant of some "collective guy mentality."[/b]

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i hear you. in fact, i thought your initial post was well-put, and agreed particularly with the importance of social upbringing in a male's relation to the opposite sex.

all i was positing in my post is that humans are animals first, and social creatures second.

that without language or cultural expectations or advice from others, most men would nail down anything that was moving and had a vagina.

i cannot see how any "normal" male can deny this.
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social and cultural influence has been predominately patriarchal and sexist for the last thousands of years. women were largely viewed and treated as property from all appearances.

sure, there were men who were exceptions even despite this widespread influence, but given the combination of animal sex drive, and social acceptance of treating women like valued animals, these exceptions were nowhere near forming a majority.

and i still think exceptions like you or i are the minority by far. social influence is only slowly and very recently changing the way men relate to women.
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again, i can only speak from life experience, but it still seems like 90+% of males i have known relate to women primarily from pure, instinctual sexual drive.

until society as a whole shows how base and primitive this is, the phrase "men are pigs" will still accurately describe the majority of males.

one cannot ASSUME that every man they meet is manipulative and only after sex, but it is only realistic to consider the possibility, and take some measures to defend oneself against this.

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Originally Posted by jacobo

short answer:

it's relative to the guy.
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From all the answers that I've read I'd like to consider that this one sums it all up :) .And besides, I just though of my ex-boyfriend, and he was also 19 (like the guy I was talking about; by the way, I'm 16) and we went out for about a month (until I dumped because of different reasons...) and he didn't even kiss me :| ... so, I guess it depends...