Thread: How Do You Get A Girl To Like You?

Originally Posted by nameless;

WHATEVER you do, DON'T get caught ridin' dirteh.
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Haha

You're so right badassbob, people don't accept that because they think there's something wrong with not 'being yourself'. There's nothing wrong with it! It's not shallow! It's normal. People, don't limit yourselves by thinking, 'this is me, so I'm going to 'be myself''. That's bull, there's more than one aspect to yourself, and the truth is you have to change the way you act in different situations to be accepted/get on in life/get what you want, again nothing wrong with that. You can still be yourself even when in a different role you wouldn't consider to be 'yourself', you do it with your own style and your unique personality will come out even though it may seem like, 'this isn't me, I'm only acting this way because I have to.'.

Being yourself, in the commonly understood sense, is for weak, scared people imho.

EDIT: What I mean is we have to change the way we act to suit the specific situation whatever that may be. Drawing an analogy with poker (I think it's such a profound game&#33 if you always play the same way, no matter the situation, you will only win against the weakest of opponents. To advance your game, you have to know when to be aggressive, when to be passive. One style of play will never be the best play in all situations. There is no 'self' to be, only the best one at any given time. Major Motoko Kusanagi from Ghost in the Shell knows what I mean:

Originally posted by Major Motoko Kusanagi
If we all reacted the same way we'd be predictable, and there's always more than one way to view a situation. What's true for the group is also true for the individual. It's simple: over specialise and you breed in weakness - it's slow death.

I have trouble with girls

I wind up making friendships instead of relationships most of the time

I think I'm too nice

Yeah you are. If you think she's hot, tell her, otherwise she won't know what you want and you'll become friends. By then it's too late.

Just be yourself. And be funny - but don't try too hard. Oh and.. confidence.

Originally Posted by ranma187

VERY GOOD. that's honest and true. notice how she says "It's kind of like a flirty game that they're playing with you," it is a game. built on 30% bs 50% fun and 20% rapport.
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Well, no. It's not 30% bs. The only really bs part of "the game" is that you're probably trying to convey a little more confidence than you actually have. But you don't want to be feeding her stupid lines and crap. I mean he actually does like the girl, it's a natural thing to want to flirt with someone you like. He just needs to learn to make it witty and fun for her. It really is just all about confidence and being funny and not saying idiotic things. You're basically trying to show the best version of you in a short amount of time to get her attention. I think it's only bs if you don't particularly like the girl and you just want to get into her pants or something. But that's not the case, right?

I'm not a guy, buy I know when I myself participate in "the game", although I know we're playing around, I still am saying stuff that I would say, and doing stuff that I would do. I don't just turn into a different person all of a sudden.

My point - don't bs her and don't be fake. If she has any sort of intelligence, she'll see right through it. Just be yourself, but be sharp.

Originally Posted by kichu

Well, no. It's not 30% bs. The only really bs part of "the game" is that you're probably trying to convey a little more confidence than you actually have. But you don't want to be feeding her stupid lines and crap. I mean he actually does like the girl, it's a natural thing to want to flirt with someone you like. He just needs to learn to make it witty and fun for her. It's really is just all about confidence and being funny and not saying idiotic things. You're basically trying to show the best version of you in a short amount of time to get her attention. I think it's only bs if you don't particularly like the girl and you just want to get into her pants or something. But that's not the case, right?

I'm not a guy, buy I know when I myself participate in "the game", although I know we're playing around, I still am saying stuff that I would say, and doing stuff that I would do. I don't just turn into a different person all of a sudden.

My point - don't bs her and don't be fake. If she has any sort of intelligence, she'll see right through it. Just be yourself, but be sharp.
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^^^^^^Eeeeeexactly.

Has this guy like even replied once to this topic? lol

I'd need more information about the situation to make a more accurate assessment.

hehe...

Originally Posted by Aquanina

Has this guy like even replied once to this topic? lol

I'd need more information about the situation to make a more accurate assessment.

hehe...
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Yeah, it would probably help to know where he's likely to see her, do they go to the same parties, clubs, etc? Same friends?

Edit: Ha ha! Just looked over this thread and he hasn't replied once. Maybe he read a couple posts and got right to work. He could be getting luck right now for all we know. What a supportive little family we are.

You're not factoring in how females lie lol. even in "The Game" they'll blatantly lie to catch a guy off guard, eg. "i have a boyfriend, I'm a lesbian, I'm not looking for anyone right now" And then, go dance and exchange phone numbers with another guy. a lot of the game is based on bullshit. not serious BS but funny irrelivant BS.

It doesn't matter wether it's a prescripted line or routine. it all comes down to GAME. i can watch a guy with no game use some line and get blown off. 5 minutes later a guy with GAME can say the EXACT same line and get attraction from the same girl. What you fail to realise is that in a club type setting, females are getting approached CONSTANTLY, They've developed ways to deal with this until it's a conditioned reaction to the same stimuli. they aren't even paying attention to what you are saying half the time. they pay attention to how the guy holds himself, how he projects his voice etc. and since all this is on an unconcious level, there's no way to conciously be aware of the whole interaction. you can only see it if you observe it directly.

Originally Posted by ranma187

You're not factoring in how females lie lol. even in "The Game" they'll blatantly lie to catch a guy off guard, eg. "i have a boyfriend, I'm a lesbian, I'm not looking for anyone right now" And then, go dance and exchange phone numbers with another guy....
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They say that stuff to guys they're not interested in. The don't say those things to a guy that they're interested in playing the game with. If a girls has ever told you that, it means she's not interested. She's not playing the game with you and trying to catch you off guard, she wants you to go away.

Originally Posted by kichu

She's not playing the game with you and trying to catch you off guard, she wants you to go away.
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Ouch, you may have hurt his feelings.

Originally Posted by badassbob

Ouch, you may have hurt his feelings.
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Meh. Everybody's been rejected at some point.

Kichu is right.

If you get blown off by a girl, and then see her with another guy later on...it just means you are a sadly inferior male specimen.

Hahaha...

Originally Posted by Aquanina

Kichu is right.

If you get blown off by a girl, and then see her with another guy later on...it just means you are a sadly inferior male specimen.

Hahaha...
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Ouch, if my comment didn't hurt his feelings, I'm thinking that one will. There's nothing quite like tough love.

OK i'm gonna cry now NOT.

It doesn't mean your an inferior specimen LOL. I've plowed through a few comments.
In fact i don't take those comments even seriously anymore. i just say shit like "oh you have a boyfriend! congratulations!" and then move on to something else. if they blow me off i LAUGH, because it's funny. besides, there's plenty of other women in the club or bar. some that know what fun is. I'd rather be hanging around Fun people than with someone with no sense of humor.

The only time it's a blow off is if they turn their backs and walk away. if i can ignore that BS they throw at me and they are still talking to me. it's still GAME ON!
AND to top it off. one night i got blown off pretty bad. hours later outside the girl ran up to me and is all nice with me and shit? i ask "WTF didn't you just blow me off earlier???" she said "HUH??? i don't remember that!"
Which is further proof of my theory that girls in clubs don't even know what they are saying half the time - that they aren't listening to what a guy says but how well he plays the game.

I bet you girls were the kind of girls in kindergarten - would hit every boy they liked. well be carefull 'cause i hit back!

^ You sound really young.

^ yep no matter how old i get. I'm still percieved as young. nothing wrong with that! Hell, when i'm 75 i'll still be gettin ass!

Originally Posted by ranma187

^ yep no matter how old i get. I'm still percieved as young. nothing wrong with that! Hell, when i'm 75 i'll still be gettin ass!
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I just wanted to make a quick comment on being yourself. I think that that is one thing that is necessarily if you want to have an honest relationship with someone. Consider this: If you don't act like yourself in the beginning, how is she going to feel when she discovers the real you?

Originally Posted by Amethyst

I just wanted to make a quick comment on being yourself. I think that that is one thing that is necessarily if you want to have an honest relationship with someone. Consider this: If you don't act like yourself in the beginning, how is she going to feel when she discovers the real you?
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If anyone had actually read what i said: A. It's ONLY a game. B: it ivolves BS on both sides. C. it's actually not BS.

What i said was. Picture this: we have an idea of an average male, with no special attributes. He has little if not zero any kind of romantic, sexual, relations with the opposite sex. (raise your hand if you are one of them). He is the embodiment of the Average Frustrated chump. The things he believes that will help him find a relationship, sex, or whatever seems to not work at all. He gets so fed up. he might be 20, 26, or 45. he gets sick and tired of being the honest nice guy. does everything in his power to be happy with someone, but to no avail. and because he is so fed up, he is in danger of dying alone, becoming a rapist, pedo, goes gay (not knocking gays mind you, but there are countless gay individuals who chose to be that way because of frustration.),or drug abuse ad infinitum. he has many downfalls.

unless he makes a choice. and the choice is to go and figure out on himself, what works, and what doesn't.
what he does is APPROACH like crazy. he tries different ideas, being himself, being someone else. and over time pieces the puzzle together. in his research he finds two things: guys that are good with women, they are players, or people in relationships. and B. people like himself. He studies like a scientist, the behaviors of each type. how they walk talk, etc etc. and what he does is throws out everything he was ever told about what attracts women. he then field tests the different behaviors. at first he tries to emulate the player or whoever he admires. he fails why? because he is FAKING. and faking is just plain creepy.

however, after getting rejected and blown off after countless tries. he begins to get used to rejection. it becomes nothing to him. it no longer throws him off. after a while his "Emulations" of specific behavior start to work. WHY? because those emulations BECOME who he is. because he has put the time in.

I once said to myself. "wow, that guitarist looks amazing at his instrument. i don't think i could ever learn that." but i picked up a guitar one day. i tried emulating what my guitar heroes did. i tried for many years and i still couldn't get it. but eventually after hard practice. i became fairly decent, all inspired and incorporated from other guitarists.

It's the exact same thing with social dynamics. - it's a skillset. people who have had good social and sex lives, are happliy married are what we call "naturals" because for some reason they didn't turn out like the Average frustrated chump like what we've been talking about. all people on this earth are here because of natural selection. natural selection based on attraction to the opposite sex. so EVERYONE on this earth has the ability to have a love life, and enjoy the opposite sex, fall in love. because it's part of our biological blueprint. it's in our genes.

BUT for some reason MILLIONS of males are out of touch with this natural instinct. part of it is social conditioning, through parents, and or media, troubled life, sexual abuse, or simply they were never had a good role model. etc etc.

There is absolutely nothing wrong, with a Chump. trying something different, even Emulate behaviors that are unnatural to him. because through practice he can learn to have a good love life. and sometimes that means pre- scripted lines, routines. all these are just drills to help him figure out for himself. so that later on it's no longer faking or a lie.

I completely agree with the statement "Be yourself" the only problem with that advice is: if being themselves was the answer. you wouldn't have guys posting threads like this one and guys in the "Help" section whinign about how they are 22 and still a virgin. because all they can do is be themselves, and it's not working. because the traits that attract the opposite sex - they are out of touch with. yet through time they can learn it by incorporating attractive traits into their personality and behavior patterns.

I just got one thing to say, be positive, becouse thats the source of all confidents, I've noticed I'm more likly to be social when I'm in a positive mood.

You mentioned, ranma, that people emulate others. To be honest, just about every part of our life is made up of what we observe around us. However, no two people in the world have had the same experiences or gone through the same trials or successes. That's what makes every person unique, and I don't think someone should give that up and try to assume the life of another because it just won't work.

What about the possibility that some people are just not designed to have a marriage/long-term relationship? I wonder about that with myself sometimes. If that is the case, then I will accept that as my lot in life and enjoy the times I have with the friends I have. Anyone can get friends if they're willing to work at it.

I hate to lie and I don't like when people lie to me. Also, a person shouldn't have to change to get someone to like them. Then they're not only lying to the other person, but they're lying to himself/herself.

Originally Posted by ranma187

whinign about how they are 22 and still a virgin. [/b]

I'm 21 and still a virgin, and proud of it. I've never even been kissed (and dated a guy for three years).

(Just thought I'd throw that out there.)

Originally Posted by ranma187

^ yep no matter how old i get. I'm still percieved as young. nothing wrong with that! Hell, when i'm 75 i'll still be gettin ass!
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and the fact that you play guitar like a deamon just seals the deal

She either likes you or she doesn't. I don't think you can force anything.