Thread: I have a big problem...

...in my pants.

Well, it is not that big of a problem actually, but it is causing annoyance to me.

Every single morning as I wake up, my penis is stiff, hard and impossible to bend. I also need to pee every morning, and my penis being hard as stone makes it a bit difficult. So I can't aim down at the toilet; it stands right up and I would end up peeing over the walls. I can't sit down and pee either; I can't aim it enough downwards, and I will just end up literally peeing into my pants and underwear (it happened once).

It can also be quite an annoyance in school. I wear soft pants and sometimes it starts rising up and its form can be seen on the pants. It can be rather embarassing at moments like that. Fortunately, I'm mostly able to hide it under my sweater by pulling it down a bit. Other times, I have to put my hands inside my pants when people look away to correct it.

Does anyone have any advise? This is not a joke, and do not lock it because it contain the word "penis".

A couple of words of advice and some hope for the future.,

The advice, practice masterbation, as often as needed. Stay away from porn on the internet.

Hope for the future, things will calm down when you are 25 or so years old.

Oh... my... God.......

Sticky thread

ahahahahahaha


*edit*

ok, having actually read the thread.....

all I can say is
welcome to life, mate

women think they have it bad with periods

try standing by the bog every morning, thinking "shit, my body's forgetten how to pee, and even if it remembers, the toilet still needs to be moved onto the ceiling"

my advise.......
pee in the shower

Originally posted by Ynot
my advise.......
pee in the shower

Ew, no! Don't do it!

Originally posted by Burns


Ew, no! Don't do it!

what's wrong with it? i do it all the time.

but yeah, i agree with seeker and ynot on this.

Originally posted by kage
what's wrong with it? i do it all the time.

Wow. That's disgusting. They make toilet for a reason. Showers are for getting clean.

burns,

most men pee in the shower
for that very reason

we have 3 options

a) the "Forceful Bend" - noone tries this more than once

B) the "Bog Pan Huddle" - this is where you lean forward as much as you can, so you're actually pointing in the right direction
although the risk of peeing on your face is greatly increased

c) the "Pee in the Shower"

Originally posted by Burns
Wow. That's disgusting. They make toilet for a reason. Showers are for getting clean.

meh. it all goes down the drain, anyway. you can still get clean; just don't pee on your feet.

i'm still with Ynot on this one.

by the way, if you want to hear about something truly disgusting, consider this. my mom has told me about her friend and friend\'s husband. when they would shower together, he would pee on her. i guess he wanted to "mark his territory." also, when they were moving into a new house, while the house was being built, he went out and peed on the corners of the foundation, for the same reason.

[quote]by the way, if you want to hear about something truly disgusting, consider this. my mom has told me about her friend and friend\'s husband. when they would shower together, he would pee on her. i guess he wanted to "mark his territory." also, when they were moving into a new house, while the house was being built, he went out and peed on the corners of the foundation, for the same reason.

That's really strange.
Was he part dog or something...?

Originally posted by Burns
That's really strange.
Was he part dog or something...?

lol! yeah, something like that. let's just say that the "animal" side of human nature was a bit less suppressed in him than in the rest of us . . .

I've had to pee from the back porch a number of times before we added another bathroom. Nothing like needing to go badly and one of the kids has the bathroom tied up taking a shower.

Like I said earlier, it gets better with age. You won't believe me, but it is amazing how clearly you can think without tons of testosterone flowing through your bloodstream all the time.

Originally posted by Seeker
You won't believe me, but it is amazing how clearly you can think without tons of testosterone flowing through your bloodstream all the time.

Seeker......you have an industrial accident, or something?

How did you lose your MoJo ?!?

Originally posted by Seeker+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Seeker)</div>

The advice, practice masterbation, as often as needed. Stay away from porn on the internet.

Hope for the future, things will calm down when you are 25 or so years old. [/b]

That masturbation advice is good. I do masturbate quite alot currently, and it can keep Mr. Dick at bay for a while.

As for that advice staying away from porn, hmm... I will have to think about it.

And good to hear it won't be like this forever. It is annoying having to think about the thing down there all day. Sometimes even thinking with it, haha.

<!--QuoteBegin-Ynot
burns,

most men pee in the shower
for that very reason

we have 3 options

a) the "Forceful Bend" - noone tries this more than once

B) the "Bog Pan Huddle" - this is where you lean forward as much as you can, so you're actually pointing in the right direction
although the risk of peeing on your face is greatly increased

c) the "Pee in the Shower"

I like this suggestion aswell. I do pee in the shower for the same reason. And I have used the Forceful Bend once; I was in desperate need to pee. It definately did not feel any nice, so I have not used or even attempted it any more.

If I just could pee outside all the time. But if I did, my mom would just think I'm a weirdo and start complaining alot as if it was a death sin. And I would rather skip explaining this issue to her. I live in a village, by the way, so no one would spot me.

Village... cool.

Anyway, I always used a mix of the "bend" and the "bog pan handle." Both a little so as to avoid the Excrutiating pain of "over bending"

you should see the kind of torture the girls at my school put on us boys

when we&#39;re walking around the track they stick their hand in their shirt and holler "I&#39;m touching my nipple"

and "my vagina itches, *sticks hand in pants* oooh *itch* okay mm its better now"

our... uh... member... tries to poke out and have a look, unfortunately its very visible

and we can&#39;t sit down or stop walking because the P.E. teacher is like "KEEP WALKING THE TRACKS, YOU CANT STOP UNTIL THE TIME IS UP" and then it just puts more attention/eyes on you

Its cruel I say, utterly cruel.

Originally Posted by potato

and "my vagina itches, *sticks hand in pants* oooh *itch* okay mm its better now"[/b]

Ew, they have medication for that type of thing... I don&#39;t think I&#39;d be aroused by a yeast infection.

Originally Posted by Burns

Ew, they have medication for that type of thing... I don&#39;t think I&#39;d be aroused by a yeast infection.
[/b]

Lol burns has got a point about the yeast infection.

Any way i&#39;ve had that problem but have never gone in the shower just doesn&#39;t seem right.

Originally Posted by Burns

Ew, they have medication for that type of thing... I don&#39;t think I&#39;d be aroused by a yeast infection.
[/b]

Well it wasnt that

It was the fact that she stuck her hand into her pants, rubbed around in there FOR LIKE 6 FULL SECONDS and pulled out a hand with two shiny fingers

its not normal, I tell ya

Originally Posted by potato

Well it wasnt that

It was the fact that she stuck her hand into her pants, rubbed around in there FOR LIKE 6 FULL SECONDS and pulled out a hand with two shiny fingers

its not normal, I tell ya
[/b]

Is this the same girl you told me about?

Well the solution is quite simple...

You have to decapitate you humongous penis, it&#39;s the only way

What retards "my VAGINA itches"
WTF?

the whore that wanted to do me?

yes

but it turned out she was lesbian (as in really lesbian, no boys at all) she just liked to screw with boy&#39;s minds

No, I was referring to the girl that leans against people in the dark room.

I don&#39;t believe we&#39;ve had the whore that wants to do you conversation.

First, when one dreams, blood runs to the genitals, causing an erection. When one wakes straight from a dream, that&#39;s where morning wood, as Beavis and Butthead put it, happens. I wake up at all times of the nights, and this happens, usually I give it 30 seconds to go away.

If I do have to go, I pee like a drunk person. You put your feet normal, but then you lean up against the wall with one hand so you kind of make a right triangle. Only then you have to arch your back and get your hips as high as possible to angle downwards. Of course, then the pressure&#39;s not right, and you have to let it out slower than normal.

It&#39;s even worse when the wee-wee isn&#39;t straight, you know it looks more like an arc of a circle than a straight line because it points up even higher. Thankfully it&#39;s still flexible when erect, otherwise I&#39;m not sure it would be possible unless you are shooting a high arching shot from way down town. Of course, the best thing to do is to learn to take it down. There are two methods.

1. If you are standing, you can just tuck it out of your boxers, causing it to point up to the ceiling. That way, gravity can pull the blood down, out of the penis, and deflate your erection.
2. If you are sitting, you can push the penis to either side of the pants, whichever is closer. If you run it parallel with the leg, it doesn&#39;t touch anything, it doesn&#39;t feel any resistance, and it is not stimulated so it goes away.

And I think most guys have had it happen, when we get an erection in the middle of class, especially when you have to go present something, dressed up in comfortable, flexible, khaki pants. One time this happened to someone while he was in college. It was a math class, and obviously his mind was elsewhere. If you are in this situation, be the last one to leave the class so it has time to go away. This other guy was so embarassed that he just got up and was the first one out the door. Of course he was on the far side of the room and walked right across everybody&#39;s field of vision. Then I see him outside catching up with a female friend he did not plan on meeting.