The Worst Experience of My Life...and a Warning...

[Oneironaut Zero]

[Edit: I know this is extremely long. The short version is that I tried some of that 'Spice' crap that people are smoking, on an impulse. When it comes to weed and some other mind-altering substances, I'm a seasoned veteran, but - even with a few bad trips under my belt - this was the worst ordeal I'd ever been through. This is just my recounting of the experience, as it happened, and I hope it serves as a warning to anyone else who is smoking -or thinking about smoking - that crap.] Ok, let me just start this by saying that I'm well aware that this experience was my own damn fault. I experimented with some dumb shit, against even my own better judgement, and I paid the price for it. So any of you clowns out there, who want to give me shit for it and talk about how retarded it was can fuck right off, thank you very much. So yeah, I'd had a little bit of alcohol (hardly a buzz), and a house full of people. A guy and I go out to the back so he could take a smoke break, and I was just going to hang out with him. Take into account that, at this time, his mom is inside talking to my mom and both our kids are inside playing with each other. So, along with his cigarette, he pulls out a bowl of that 'Spice' shit that all the 'cool' kids are smoking nowadays. It had never been something I was all that curious about. I'd tried a bit (of a different brand), before, and it wasn't all that great. Definitely didn't feel like smoking weed. This particular kind he had was called "FUBAR", which was different from the stuff I'd tried before. After a little time (and a little persuasion, admittedly), I figured what the hell, and I took two tiny swats off of it. As I said; I was only slightly buzzed before that, and I am not exactly a novice, when it comes to mind altering substances. (We're talking about a guy who spent his first time at Islands of Adventure, riding roller coaster on LSD with no problem. It just goes to show that you can never underestimate a mind-altering substance...) After a few short moments of standing there, I was beginning to realize how fucked up I was. I wanted to sit down, but didn't really want to look as stoned as I was, so I tried to fight it for a bit, and stood there, swaying. I figured that I would be cool, if I was just kind of left alone for a moment to catch my bearings. Suddenly, my mom comes to the back door and says that the computer technician is back with my computer, and wanted to talk to me about a few things. I tell her 'ok,' but in my head, I'm thinking 'FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKK!! ' I gather myself as much I can, and we walk back in the house. That's what did it. That's where things started going south. I was just completely overwhelmed with all the activity in the house. This other guy's daughter iwas running around with my daughters guitar, making her loud 'music''; the TV is on; our parents are there; this PC tech, who I'd only met a few hours earlier was there. It was a nightmare for someone who was trying to remain as inconspicuous as possible. As quickly and discretely as I could manage, I went straight to my room and tried to collect my wits, but I knew I couldn't hide out there for too long, so I walked back out into the living room. I pulled my mom to the side and was going to tell her what was going on with me...but the words would not come out. That's when the shit really hit the fan. It was like time froze. I literally got stuck in that moment where I was trying to figure out what to say to her, and I was never able to actually say it. I tried so hard to tell her something like "...look...I'm just kind of fucked up right now, and I just need some time to myself to shake this..." No dice. It was like I could hear myself thinking it, but my brain was literally disconnected from my body, and the words wouldn't come. It was actually kind of like being on Salvia (which I don't like), in that one moment tends to last for an eternity, and being around people is the most uncomfortable thing ever. I think the only thing I managed to say to her was "Im...really...fucked...up..." between desperate gestures of attempting to speak. I could see in her eyes that she was getting really scared, and kept asking what was wrong, and I was staring right at her, but the words would just not come out. I grabbed onto her shoulders and tried SO FUCKING HARD to speak, but I couldn't. I was staggering and could hardly stand on my own. By this time, the entire house was gathered around me, and I remember seeing the computer tech jump up from his chair to make room, when it looked like I might have been about to fall over on him. I was literally gone. I kept flailing and making off-balance gestures. My back would arch and my arms would fly out to the sides. I would topple and someone would catch me. Everyone was yelling at me and trying to get me to respond. But I couldn't. I couldn't talk. I couldn't speak at all. I could just make these horrible, broken grunts and moans, trying to funnel everything that was going on in my head, out through my mouth. It felt like this was going on forever, and it wasn't until I started to wonder if I had literally slipped into permanent insanity, that I really started to get scared. I thought it was over for me. I thought about being put into an asylum. I thought about dying... The worst thing was that I was completely aware of all this, but I couldn't stop it. I was talking to myself, in my head. I was coherent in my own mind. I remember my mom repeatedly asking if I needed her to call 911, and in my mind I'm screaming "NOOOOO!!! I'LL BE OK!! JUST LET ME LAY DOWN FOR A BIT!!" but it came out as just a frantic shaking of my head and a few unintelligible sounds. I felt about 3 people holding me up. Someone grabbed a chair and set it down in front of me, and I sat down. All I could do was just look around at all of the people looking back at me. I was still completely lost. That's when the paramedics showed up. (Yes, they called them anyway.) I vaguely remember the awkward conversation with them, as I was starting to come back around. They asked me what year it was, and what city I was in. I had to think about both, but I answered them both correctly. Then, he threw me a curve and asked me whose house I was in right now. I had to think. I looked at the guy who I'd gone outside with and asked him the name of the person that lived here, thinking it belonged to one of his friends. Everyone looked at me like 'wtf?' The paramedic said 'this is your first time here?' I said 'yeah.' It wasn't until then that I noticed that I was in the 2nd dining room, on the far side of my own house. Quickly trying to play it off (although completely kicking myself for it, now), I said "I'm just playing...this is home..." Even that was hard to say correctly. Of course everyone was like "DON'T PLAY LIKE THAT!!" I wasn't really, though. At the time that he'd asked, I had absolutely no fucking clue where I was. He asked me what I'd been taking, I told him that I'd drank some alcohol and smoked a little herb (funny that I felt more comfortable about telling him that I smoked weed than the 'legal' shit...). While we're all sitting there, I was trying to keep up with the conversations going on, and the paramedics pricked my finger to test for something. A few more moments passed, and I could feel my stomach turning. I wondered if anyone could noticed the subtle convulsions. I looked up and saw that everyone was pretty much talking amongst themselves, now that things had calmed down, and the paramedics were still sending a few questions my way, that I struggled to answer. Finally, I felt everything come surging back up, and I clamped my mouth closed to keep it all in. I got up and ran to the bathroom and practically dry-heaved myself inside out. Not having eaten all day didn't help, I'm sure. The guy I'd been hangin with comes in and talks to me while I'm puking, and I was basically just like "Dude....WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK WAS THAT?! Seriously..." For a while, that's pretty much all I could say, between dry-heaves. He was the only one that I told about not knowing where I was, when the medic asked me. After a good 20 minutes of throwing up nothing, my whole body was shaking. The medics had been dismissed, by then. I just lay down on the bed for a while and eventually passed out, after ensuring everyone left that I was ok. Even now, some hours after the whole ordeal, and a short nap, I feel like I had just had my ass royally kicked. I'm ok now, but that is something I Never, Never, NEVER fucking EVER want to experience again. I have experimented with all kinds of shit, in my lifetime, but as I told my mom after everything was over, my experimenting days are over. I've had bad trips before, but that was literally the worst, most horrifying thing I have ever experienced, And yes, I know it was fucking dumb. Cut me some slack, here. I wasn't really a huge fan of the slight buzz that I got from the first swat of that synthetic shit, some time ago, so I was just gonna be like 'well, ok, I'll take a small toke, just to see if this stuff is a little different.' I wasn't even planning on getting fucked up off of it. Never again. NEVER again. If you all have people that you know, that mess with that stuff, talk to them about it. I had been hearing warnings and stuff about all these anecdotal cases of things happening to people who abused that stuff, but I was naive in thinking that those were rare cases of inexperienced people just getting completely ripped off of it. I openly admit that I was dead fucking wrong. That shit is dangerous. Stay away from it. Fuck. I need some water...