Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Happy. Assembled my Halloween costume today, I'm going as Sarah from Labyrinth. We're doing a trunk or treat in our neighborhood with masks and social distancing

Covid test negative, back to work.

I could probably rant about many things. My mind is full of rants. But its like as soon as i'm in front of the computer screen the desire or need to rant disappears.

More and more i do things but there is very little purpose or meaning behind anything. I just do. Perhaps to kill time or something. I don't know. I'm cool with being a dysfunctional and useless member of society. Happier than being a functional member.

Originally Posted by tropicalbreeze

More and more i do things but there is very little purpose or meaning behind anything. I just do. Perhaps to kill time or something. I don't know. I'm cool with being a dysfunctional and useless member of society. Happier than being a functional member.

I want to tell you the answer to this, but I know you're not asking for advice. Hopefully you don't mind. Here's the answer: you have to live your life for something higher than yourself - for others. This is what gives meaning to life. For me, it's children. For you it might be something different. At the end of the day, there's nothing else to life but the connections we make during our time here.

Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream

Covid test negative, back to work.

Glad that your test was negative! Stay safe!

Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream

I want to tell you the answer to this, but I know you're not asking for advice. Hopefully you don't mind. Here's the answer: you have to live your life for something higher than yourself - for others. This is what gives meaning to life. For me, it's children. For you it might be something different. At the end of the day, there's nothing else to life but the connections we make during our time here.

Hello.

I don't mind your input. I'm not quite sure i think in terms of higher or lower anymore. More like preferences i guess. There are things i do to give my life context, meaning or to make things fun and interesting but behind it all i know its all meaningless. Little by little there's less importance to things that were once so important. Is any of this making sense?

Originally Posted by tropicalbreeze

Hello.

I don't mind your input. I'm not quite sure i think in terms of higher or lower anymore. More like preferences i guess. There are things i do to give my life context, meaning or to make things fun and interesting but behind it all i know its all meaningless. Little by little there's less importance to things that were once so important. Is any of this making sense?

I'm sad you feel that way.

What I mean by higher than yourself is bigger than yourself; outside yourself. Sorry that wasn't clear. To live your life in an effort to make the world a better place for other people. To help reduce suffering; compassion.

I don't mean to be a know-it-all, and I apologize if I come across that way. What I can say is that I've lived this truth. My students often come to me with really damaged self-esteem. I feel like my purpose is to try and light their candle of self-love; to help them see their own strengths. When I see a kid go from acting out, absent, depressed, etc.. to happy, self-motivated, growing.. my life has meaning.

I hope you can find your own outlet for compassion. It's really great for bringing meaning into your life. Good luck.

Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream

I'm sad you feel that way.

If you feel sad over my post it just shows a lack of understanding.

Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream

What I mean by higher than yourself is bigger than yourself; outside yourself. Sorry that wasn't clear. To live your life in an effort to make the world a better place for other people. To help reduce suffering; compassion.

You really don't know what i have or haven't done.

Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream

I don't mean to be a know-it-all, and I apologize if I come across that way. What I can say is that I've lived this truth. My students often come to me with really damaged self-esteem. I feel like my purpose is to try and light their candle of self-love; to help them see their own strengths. When I see a kid go from acting out, absent, depressed, etc.. to happy, self-motivated, growing.. my life has meaning.

Ok.

Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream

I hope you can find your own outlet for compassion. It's really great for bringing meaning into your life. Good luck.

Compassion naturally arises when its necessary. Its not something i present to others to enhance my self image. I've done things out of empathy and compassion but don't feel the need to display that on the internet. I'm not interested in showing off how much of a great person i am. I rather display my abs knowing i will come off as an arrogant show off. :p

One of those stuck indoors rainy days.

You sound like a teenager going through your first existential crisis. You'll get over it.

Originally Posted by yuppie11975

You sound like a teenager going through your first existential crisis. You'll get over it.

Not sure whether that was meant to be a swipe at me or just talking to yourself.


Though i notice more and more there is very little in the way of understanding in dialogs. It seems many are more interested in imposing their ways or point of view rather than understanding another's. You can't help another out or give a proper response if at first you don't even understand them or their situation. Its stupid.

Didn't sleep at all last night! Ugh!

Originally Posted by tropicalbreeze

Not sure whether that was meant to be a swipe at me or just talking to yourself.


Though i notice more and more there is very little in the way of understanding in dialogs. It seems many are more interested in imposing their ways or point of view rather than understanding another's. You can't help another out or give a proper response if at first you don't even understand them or their situation. Its stupid.

Of course it was directed as you. Moonage made a very obvious attempt at helping you (while also very clearly understanding what you meant by the things that you wrote). You in turn came across as very rude and confrontational for no apparent reason. Your response to her literally reads as if it is a satire or caricature of a teenager who is having his first existential crisis. The way that you feel and the things you think aren't unique. Everyone goes through a stage where those thoughts are very prominent (and in fact most people will continue to battle with the themes until they die). I have sympathy for you because I know it's demotivating and hard. Still though, there's no need to let your existential angst allow you to act unkindly towards others. I'd even suggest that being more empathetic will allow you to feel a bit better on the matter as a whole. Moonage's suggestions were actually pretty helpful. Yes, you are correct in stating that on a technical level we cannot discern that anything has any inherent meaning. That doesn't, however, mean that we do not have subjective meaning or that you can't derive your own personal sense of comfort and satisfaction from the things that you decide matter to you on a personal level.

It's a practical issue. You say that you'd be just as happy as being an unproductive member of society as a productive one. You're wrong. It's simply not the way that we as humans work. We're literally wired to release dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, etc when we do certain behaviours, like socialising, succeeding in our work or personal life, exercising, etc. You can equate those chemical releases directly to happiness.

Point is, I'm sure you feel like you can sit around be miserable all day and wallow in your own pity and have it make no difference to you - but it'll catch up to you eventually. That's the only reason people really bother to work for things - so they can prevent themselves from being miserable. That's really the only secret. Finding something subjectively meaningful in order to feel happy. (Or at the very least to not feel actively discontent).

That's the nature of reality, and the human condition.

Yes, it sucks. No, it's not easy. I agree. Unfortunately though, you don't have much of a choice in the matter.

Once again, I can relate to the way that you feel, and I can certainly empathise with you. Still though, I think you'd benefit from a perspective shift. Last but not last, once again, there's no need to be a dick to the people on the forum when they're only trying their best to understand and help you.

Hope you feel better soon

Originally Posted by HumbleDreamer

Didn't sleep at all last night! Ugh!

Sorry to hear you've been having trouble with sleep. I've been having a bit the opposite issue where I'm letting myself stay in bed too long in the morning, which is probably part of why I'm a bit "out of it" with things lately. Too bad we can't trade some of it with each other to balance things out.

Originally Posted by yuppie11975

Of course it was directed as you. Moonage made a very obvious attempt at helping you (while also very clearly understanding what you meant by the things that you wrote). You in turn came across as very rude and confrontational for no apparent reason. Your response to her literally reads as if it is a satire or caricature of a teenager who is having his first existential crisis. The way that you feel and the things you think aren't unique. Everyone goes through a stage where those thoughts are very prominent (and in fact most people will continue to battle with the themes until they die). I have sympathy for you because I know it's demotivating and hard. Still though, there's no need to let your existential angst allow you to act unkindly towards others. I'd even suggest that being more empathetic will allow you to feel a bit better on the matter as a whole. Moonage's suggestions were actually pretty helpful. Yes, you are correct in stating that on a technical level we cannot discern that anything has any inherent meaning. That doesn't, however, mean that we do not have subjective meaning or that you can't derive your own personal sense of comfort and satisfaction from the things that you decide matter to you on a personal level.

It's a practical issue. You say that you'd be just as happy as being an unproductive member of society as a productive one. You're wrong. It's simply not the way that we as humans work. We're literally wired to release dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, etc when we do certain behaviours, like socialising, succeeding in our work or personal life, exercising, etc. You can equate those chemical releases directly to happiness.

Point is, I'm sure you feel like you can sit around be miserable all day and wallow in your own pity and have it make no difference to you - but it'll catch up to you eventually. That's the only reason people really bother to work for things - so they can prevent themselves from being miserable. That's really the only secret. Finding something subjectively meaningful in order to feel happy. (Or at the very least to not feel actively discontent).

That's the nature of reality, and the human condition.

Yes, it sucks. No, it's not easy. I agree. Unfortunately though, you don't have much of a choice in the matter.

Once again, I can relate to the way that you feel, and I can certainly empathise with you. Still though, I think you'd benefit from a perspective shift. Last but not last, once again, there's no need to be a dick to the people on the forum when they're only trying their best to understand and help you.

Hope you feel better soon

I'm not asking for help. It was just a minor rant. But this is what i'm talking about, replying with no understanding. Blindly lashing out. I'm neither in a miserable or happy state. My state is constantly changing as needed. I even mentioned doing thing that gives meaning to my life and makes things interesting. Why did you both overlook that??? I'm a very active person. Been that way for many years. Reread my post again. Without resentment or being biased. Slowly. How did you even get rude and confrontational? I can say that more of your reaction to me.

But this is why i often refrain from expressing myself. And i actually kept everything light. Something that i find to be an interesting and fascinating part of my life journey gets turned into something so sad and depressing. Gets blown out of proportion.

Both you misunderstood. I'd rather people show me respect than try to help me without showing respect. Embrace who i am not try to change who i am because you don't respect who i am. Its quite degrading to feel sad or pity for someone who is functioning just fine. Its says, "you as you naturally are isn't enough, you need to be different."

I get the impression that i'm pissing people off on here without even trying. This forum is not the same as it once was. Perhaps i'm the slap in the ass this forum needs. A wake up call.

Your previous posts were somewhat vague and so it can't really be said that someone could understand you simply from those and fair enough people shouldn't just assume things, but we do, and I think MoonageDaydream honestly just meant well and from the short statements you made I think it's only natural that people had the reactions they had; people are bound to make their own interpretations if there's room for it.

Maybe they misunderstood but it's not like we can control how other people interpret what we say. Well, I know I can't, anyway.

I'm on a few different forums. I appreciate it when someone is open to an actual discussion. When someone is open to the possibilities that they misunderstood or ask for clarification. I like when people question me or challenges me in a respectful way. It shows they are at least making an honest effort. That way we can have a mature discussion in which we can embrace and respect each others point of view. Respect each others way of seeing things even if there is disagreement.

Originally Posted by DeletePlease

Another forum I frequent has a thread set aside for people who need to vent or go on long-winded rants about whatever it is that's on their mind; it's fairly interesting to read so I thought I may as well start a similar thread here.

Post whatever it is that you need to get off your chest, be it a non-nonsensical rant about your jackass of a coworker or an essay on how amazing your boyfriend/girlfriend is. It can be as simple as "I hate owls" or a wall-of-text devoted to that funky smelling kid in your class. It doesn't have to be negative either, just post whatever it is that's on your mind.
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People should leave you the fuck alone when you've (politely) made it abundantly clear you'd rather be by yourself for a bit.

I'm glad you are trying to help each other out.
The way I see this is the kind of thread where members can post rants and shit without getting solicited advice from a stranger. However, at the same time, when someone tries to give people advice, in my opinion, just keep an open mind and take whatever helps and leave what doesn't. That is solely up to you.
Isn't it considered rude in some cultures to give out solicited advice?
Even I'm guilty of this. I know that I have found myself doing exactly that.
But, I'm sure the members here only mean well and didn't mean to push anything on to members here.

Originally Posted by tropicalbreeze

I'm on a few different forums. I appreciate it when someone is open to an actual discussion. When someone is open to the possibilities that they misunderstood or ask for clarification. I like when people question me or challenges me in a respectful way. It shows they are at least making an honest effort. That way we can have a mature discussion in which we can embrace and respect each others point of view. Respect each others way of seeing things even if there is disagreement.

I seen worst forums.
I hope we all can work out this in a civil manner as possible.
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Hey, On another note, I nearly got sprayed by a skunk, yesterday. I almost stepped on it! So glad I didn't because I didn't feel like taking a bath in tomato sauce again... Ough!

Originally Posted by HumbleDreamer

The way I see this is the kind of thread where members can post rants and shit without getting solicited advice from a stranger.
Isn't it considered rude in some cultures to give out solicited advice?

Ouch. Gosh, this makes me feel so bad. I'm certainly not trying to have bad manners. I'm sorry if I come across that way. I figured, rather take the chance I help someone (who seemed to me like they really needed some help right now), than keep it to myself out of fear I would offend them.



Anyways.. thank you Yuppie, I appreciate you standing up for me.

Tropical breeze: I used to be on Dreammood. This place is nothing like that place. Next time you probably just make a little note that you want to be alone with your rant and hopefully people will respect that.

Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream

Ouch. Gosh, this makes me feel so bad. I'm certainly not trying to have bad manners. I'm sorry if I come across that way. I figured, rather take the chance I help someone (who seemed to me like they really needed some help right now), than keep it to myself out of fear I would offend them.

Don't feel bad. I understand that you were trying to help people and that is great to see here. I know you mean well. As DarkestDarkness said, you can't control how people are going to react. Some people would see what you did like a blessing and other people would think of it as being rude. Honestly, we can never win.

Originally Posted by HumbleDreamer

I seen worst forums.

So have i. This is a nice cozy forum where many are of like mindedness. There isn't the quality of unconventional thinking there once was. But i guess its just part of change. Its not just here but rather everywhere.

Originally Posted by HumbleDreamer

I hope we all can work out this in a civil manner as possible.

It seems unlikely. I'm open to working things out with people who are open to understanding. With people who are open to different points of views. There is no working things out with people who think i need help just because i function differently then they. They aren't receptive to my uniqueness, to my different ways of seeing things. Its likely there will be a bottle up of resentment taking the form of subtle passive aggression. It is what i honestly felt in one of the above post.

Originally Posted by HumbleDreamer

Hey, On another note, I nearly got sprayed by a skunk, yesterday. I almost stepped on it! So glad I didn't because I didn't feel like taking a bath in tomato sauce again... Ough!

Again??? Yikes!

Originally Posted by HumbleDreamer

Don't feel bad. I understand that you were trying to help people and that is great to see here. I know you mean well. As DarkestDarkness said, you can't control how people are going to react. Some people would see what you did like a blessing and other people would think of it as being rude. Honestly, we can never win.

Maybe so. Still, I think that people should not be being attacked for a misunderstanding. I don't deserve that.

The misunderstanding lies in the assumption that they were attacks made and one is a "victim" of such attacks rather than a simple misunderstanding.