Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

ugh... $1000+ more dumped into my car. I'm starting to really hate driving. But I'm torn--I live 40 miles from my job, with public transportation not an option. I could move closer, but I really like were I live now. I could look for a new job closer to me, but I'd be lucky to find a place near me that pays as well.

Meh, for now I'm sticking to the plan of saving up for a motorcycle in spring. At least I'll save a bit of cash buying gas. I imagine maintenance would be a bit cheaper as well.

YAYAYAY Aly! I am SO happy for you

everyone in need.

Singularity, I hope you're friend is okay. One of the first forums I was ever really active in was the DBSA (or somesuch) for bipolar, depression, anxiety etc. I ended up leaving mostly because of all the suicide threats. It's pathetic what some people will do for attention. My heart went out to those genuinely hurting but the bad apples ruined the site for me.

Yuppie, Ugh... I know what you mean. Most of those sort of people are like emotional vampires for me. I just cannot associate with them very frequently if at all. One of my best friends in high school was like that.

My rant is my own stubborn stupidity again lol. I fought sleep all day/night yesterday/today. At around 8AM, I was finally exhausted enough to make up my bed. But then I remembered Farmville. There's a challenge to grow 6000 of a certain crop within a weeks time and if you succeed, you get 2 instant grows (for an entire farm). The event was ended in a couple of hours and my crops (on 4 different farms) were ready to be harvested.
I made myself stay awake but gee was I out of it. It took several attempts to harvest fields because I kept nodding off. So I lit up a cigarette and that didn't go so well. I had ashes all over my clothes. The cigarette went out several times and then I put it out on the cigarette box instead of the ashtray
Then I popped a caffeine pill and slowly became functional again. I kept nodding off for about 2 hours and I had some strange dreams.
I took the caffeine pill because I see my shrink at 1:00. I leave in about 20 minutes. When I get home I am going to crash hard.

I don't know what's up with my new severe aversion to sleep. It both annoys and humors me.

I'm also severely annoyed with these fleas. I was finally going to buy some flea shampoo last night but Walmart was completely sold out of everything from shampoo to drops to collars. I guess they're bad for everyone.

An anti-rant is that my son called me last night to see something. A Praying Mantis had flown inside and had landed on the TV. He was huge. We scooped him up in a measuring cup and I took him to a tree outside.
I've never seen so many mantises as I have this summer.

Originally Posted by Mindraker

Think life sucks now, try getting a good job without that piece of paper.

Already got a job lol

I hate how dependent I feel on other people. I wish I could just cut emotional ties with certain people and truly be on my own.

Wow, so I ghive a girl my facebook who likes me, (i hate texting and due to my schedule it's easier to arrange a date online). so what does she do? looks me up and doesn't add me. looks up so much she shows up in my friend suggestions. AND instead of adding me like she said she would. she is stalking me around town making sure i only see the back of her head. WTF is wrong with women these days? A tip to girls. You like blunt and direct guys? well we like our women that way too! Games are fun for a while, but the time comes where it just has to stop...

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

YAYAYAY Aly! I am SO happy for you

Thanks Zhay, I'm really excited! Life is pretty awesome.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

Thanks Zhay, I'm really excited! Life is pretty awesome.

Good to hear! Up, up and up, it seems.

All that serotonin and oxytocin.

I'm still not exactly asleep. Why am I acting like I'm 12 years old at some slumber party where the first person to fall asleep gets drawn on lol
I reached my hand out to take something earlier, which woke me up. I love the delirium (?) that comes with sleep deprivation.
My p-doc is unconcerned. He asked why and how and I told him I couldn't do it without caffeine. A decade or so ago, docs thought I had bipolar because of such antics, but it's not of my own steam that's for sure!!! I cannot stay awake for even 12 hours without stimulants, let alone for days on end!

Toward the end of our appointment, he asked if anything was on my mind (as he always asks). I told him nothing serious, just curiosities and I asked him if he gets goosebumps from listening to music. Sadly, he doesn't really listen to much music lol and then I told him I'm curious about my delayed hearing/understanding and how it humors me that I can't remember things like passwords or phone numbers without a keyboard or phone in my hand.
He talked about the reasons for such things then went on to say I'm a curious and intelligent person and to ask why I've never followed up on such things through further education. It humored me that I actually got a little upset and fought back tears. I explained I cannot retain information and on an academic level, it's just too depressing to even try.
All in all, it was a great session. I'd go crazy if I couldn't see him every other week.

As for rants... I think my perimeter alarm monitor is broken or something. Hubby just replaced the batteries for zones 1 and 2 (the front and end of the driveway), but it's not gone off all day. According to the alarm, hubby never went to work nor returned but I know otherwise.
I unplugged the cord from the back and it makes the usual electric sound, but the alarms still haven't sounded.
I'm also annoyed with my son because we have 2 trash cans to go to the road every week. We have a ton of trash surrounding the house so I've been nagging him for over a month to start throwing some of it away. He's still dragging his feet. In fact, last week, he only took one trash can to the road. Tiny Junior was in the one NOT taken down so his rotting body (and now his brothers) are stinking up the yard. The garbage men are not going to be happy with us tomorrow that's for sure!

I'm also upset FOR my son. He was going to go "camping" with some school friends he never sees anymore this Friday-Monday. His probation officer told him no this evening. He's not allowed to go because he's not been on probation long enough

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

I am in love. Love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love
L
O
V
E
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE



I just wanted you to know that.

I think you're trying to tell us you're in love.. but I'm not quite sure?

Originally Posted by Wolfwood

Good to hear! Up, up and up, it seems.

All that serotonin and oxytocin.

I know, isn't it great? The other day I had so many feel-good chemicals running through me that I honestly thought I might just black out, and that's just from fantasizing.

Originally Posted by yuppie11975

I think you're trying to tell us you're in love.. but I'm not quite sure?

Huh, whatever gave you that idea?

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

I know, isn't it great? The other day I had so many feel-good chemicals running through me that I honestly thought I might just black out, and that's just from fantasizing.

Tell us some more about your rant/rave, details

Originally Posted by dutchraptor

Tell us some more about your rant/rave, details

Welllll, I knew about him for a month or two before this, but we really only started talking last December. I liked him right from the start but I was too nervous to ever say anything, but we ended up becoming really close friends and telling each other about our lives and trying to help each other overcome our problems. He's the sweetest guy ever, and he has a way of getting into my head like no one else has ever been able to. >w< Sometimes I feel like he knows me before I know myself. He helped me so much that before long I felt like a new person, and I told him I just wanted to do whatever I could to help him the way he helped me. He was nervous too, but we started getting so close that it became hard to ignore what was going on, and we confessed our feelings for each other. Ever since then it's just been more of the same but deeper, we've been breaking down each others' mental walls and working to help each other become the best people we can be, and every day I just love him more and more, he's such a wonderful person. Plus he's open-minded and is really into lucid dreaming (which totally kicks ass!), he's smart and he understands and is learning more things about biochemistry, he's really attractive and he thinks I'm sexy, he's got the cutest smile in the world, he makes me feel amazing about myself, he motivates me to go out and live my life and supports me at every possible opportunity, he thinks on the same wavelength as me and is open like I am so we express our opinions well and handle some difficult conversations with ease, and so much more that I could just go on and on and on and on about! I love him so much, I don't know how I even lived before I met him.

I am SO happy for you Aly!!

My rant is basic back pain from sleeping too long lol. I don't even know when I crashed, but it was before noon. I woke at around 8PM when my daughter called.
I started my period too after I woke up. It's a day late, but I guess that's what I get from such a poor diet and sleep schedule.

A rave is anti-diarrhea medicine. That stuff is amazing. I should now be able to eat more food than just 2 hotodgs a day

Rant: I'd be saddened around here without your two pretty faces, Aly and Zhaylin.

Rave: I love seeing both your faces around here Aly and Zhaylin.

My Physics teacher checked our notebooks today. He found out that I mirror write. He said to me: "Boy, what is this? Are you messing with me? Do you think this is a joke?" and I said: "No sir". And he said: "How am I gonna read this? Don't do this again or else you'll get a zero in your next notebook grade". I was like, wtf? The notebook of a student is for the student himself. It is the student's personal notes of the subject's lessons. I am the one who's gonna read and study the whole damn notebook, not the teacher.

Spoiler for Notebook:

P.S.
Hooray for my crappy drawing!

Tell him to hold it up to the light.

ALYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I knew you couldn't stay away.

Actually not really, I thought you'd leave for sure. lol Congrats though, we should all be so fortunate.

My rant is that I don't have that ^

Ophelia
You have just made my day

Weakamon, Can he do that? If it's your own personal notes, wth does he care and what say does he have in the matter?

My rant is that I forgot something funny I was going to write here. Despite having gotten about 15 hours of sleep, I dragged all evening yesterday and early this morning. I refused to go back to sleep already. I'm going to try to go to sleep before midnight.
But I was sitting at my computer, playing a facebook game and I fell "asleep". Someone who reminded me of Gordon Ramsy (sp) from Hotel Hell said something funny about peppers then told another person to say what he had said with a straight face. I woke up laughing. It was stupid but that's what made it funny

A more serious rant is that I had to fill up the trash cans and take them to the road myself this morning. I'm going to tell my son if I have to practically beg for him to get things done, he can forget all about me buying him cigarettes and Borderlands 2 next week.
This is ridiculous. He's 20 years old and does nothing unless I pay him off. Even though- with few exceptions- it's his OWN messes I expect him to clean.
He's going to blame not getting the trash done on having a "cold" (which I saw he complained about on FB). That's why I always TELL him to do the trash the day before. He has no freagin excuse.

But then he's going to throw in my face that I do even less than him. So the frick what. It's my house. I don't leave my bedroom. If he doesn't like it, he COULD move out...

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

Plus he's open-minded and is really into lucid dreaming (which totally kicks ass!),

Your right, that does kickass It's awesome when too people meet and they just compliment each other naturally.

Mirror writing? That's a cool skill, Weakamon. You tell that teacher to go fuck himself.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

I am SO happy for you Aly!!

Thanks again, Zhay. I couldn't be happier.

Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

Rant: I'd be saddened around here without your two pretty faces, Aly and Zhaylin.

Rave: I love seeing both your faces around here Aly and Zhaylin.

Awww. I'd be sad without you here too, your posts always brighten up my mood. Especially this one. >w< And those flowers are beautiful!

Originally Posted by tommo

ALYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I knew you couldn't stay away.

Actually not really, I thought you'd leave for sure. lol Congrats though, we should all be so fortunate.

My rant is that I don't have that ^

I could never stay away from DV forever. I'm still not going to be around as often, but I will pop in now and then. I also added back my email subscription to just this thread. :3

And thank you! Just don't give up hope, tommo! Good things come to those who wait. I believe that now more than ever.

Originally Posted by dutchraptor

Your right, that does kickass It's awesome when too people meet and they just compliment each other naturally.

I know, isn't it just wonderful? I don't know how I ever got so lucky.

-----

Today's Rant Is: My breasts hurt. >_<

But my anti-rant is that it's officially the weekend.

My rant is that I was without Celexa for a week again and my adrenaline surges were driving me up the stinking wall.
And hubby was in a mood tonight. When I got back from the store, he had woken from his late nap and asked about my trip. I told him I picked up my meds and he then went off on a tirade about the evils of my medication. I asked him if I had done something to upset him because he rarely ever attacks my meds anymore unless I act "out of character". He said no. He's ticked off at the hospital trying to sue him for his business and the lawyer he has (how he charges $140. per email was one specific rant of his).

And earlier this evening I got a call from the Assistant Prosecuting Attorney regarding my youngest daughter and the teacher. He plead guilty and the local attorney's are recommending 2-10 years behind bars. But he still has to see a shrink and according to what is uncovered there and the leanings of the judge, the teacher might get 3-15 years.
He goes to Court next on October 22 and I was told I am more than welcome to attend. I'm not going to. I feel like an absolute creep but I actually feel a little sorry for the POS. How is that possible? What kind of mother- what kind of person- would feel sorry for him?

And now, I am actually going to go to bed

Sweet dreams DV.

$140 per e-mail? Fucking scumbag lawyers.

I had to be sociable, family bbq. I pulled it off. Terribly....

All these people I didn't know were there. And one cousin I haven't seen for AGES, she's changed so much.
She looks VERY similar to this girl I had a crush on at uni. Well, I was pretty much in love with her. Holy crap. So I just had to sort of avoid her coz I knew I'd get embarrassed.
That's probably weird.... but they look so similar, I can't help it.

I did talk a bit though to everyone else, I'm getting better Slowly.

Well its time I quit smoking weed. I've gotten too dependant.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

He goes to Court next on October 22 and I was told I am more than welcome to attend. I'm not going to. I feel like an absolute creep but I actually feel a little sorry for the POS. How is that possible? What kind of mother- what kind of person- would feel sorry for him?

I feel sorry for anyone who's reached such a low point in life, or gotten to a point where they would risk throwing their lives away like this. That teacher was young and innocent once too. You're not a bad person, and certainly not a bad mother, for feeling sorry for him, Zhay. You're just a compassionate person.

Originally Posted by ZeraCook

Well its time I quit smoking weed. I've gotten too dependant.

Are there any synthetic cannabinoid smoking blends available in your area? I know what you're thinking, but hear me out. If you go out and buy a small amount of one, you can start cutting your weed with it. The idea is not to become dependent on the synthetic instead, but to make it so that you reach the same level of cannabinoid effects with less weed, just try to get up to your normal casual level. No more smoking a pack of blunts with friends for the heck of it, just what you normally do to get by. The idea behind this is that synthetic cannabinoids cause your cannabinoid receptors to desensitize much faster than THC, meaning you'll gain tolerance to it quickly, and in the meantime the non-cannabinoid chemicals in weed, which do play an important role, will have less of an impact on your high because you're using less weed, and that will cause the receptors that those chemicals work on to REsensitize. It's important that you do this at a casual rate so that your body doesn't notice the amount of tolerance you're quickly gaining to cannabinoids. Then, when you run out of the blend, go back to your normal amount of weed. Because your tolerance is so high, this will bring the THC's effects up but overall you'll still be around or a little less than what you were getting from the mix. BUT, the other chemicals in weed will be having a stronger effect, and as a result you'll still be getting a more powerful buzz, even if you're not getting as high. Because THC is the major reinforcing chemical in weed (largely I think because the cannabinoid system plays a role in relapse), what this achieves is that you trick your body into thinking you're giving it a treat by increasing all these non-cannabinoid rewarding effects, but the reinforcing aspect of the high is lessened and you won't get as high even though you'll still be satisfied by the increased potency. After a while your body will start to think "Hey, this is great but it isn't as reinforcing as it used to be, maybe I don't really need this.", and it becomes much easier to let go of. It's not a guaranteed method, but it's worked for me before.