Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Oh no, don't worry about it OldSparta, I know you have to deal with a lot of shit from your job. It's just that I realized that I really am a freak sometimes.

(It's just an insecurity that I found out about myself, nothing towards what you said or anything)

Originally Posted by Carrot

I'm worried if I am going to have my own child too. Just have that thought couple of days ago. The financial part didn't strike me though. But I guess I might leave a lot of decision making to the child himself/herself rather than enforcing them with my thoughts, like what our parents had done to us. I'll probably stand at the side as a guide, but that vision itself doesn't look too much like what a parent will do, huh?

Unless the child is born as the same horoscope as me, I don't really know how to teach them to help them in their life. The last thing I want is for their childhood to cause them to be depressed in the future.

Been lazy on posting here for a while, trying to get my life on track! But should reply to a couple of things.
Letting ALL the decision making go to a child is really not a good idea. I know we have an idealistic view of freedom in our culture at the moment, probably due to the overbearing parents of the industrial revolution.
However, it is not a good idea to go completely in the opposite direction. Doesn't mean you have to force them to do stuff, just reason with them and show them why something is a good thing to do etc.
If you really don't know, when you're old enough to have a kid, what to tell them and how to help them, probably just don't have a kid.
But I suspect the reason you feel like you can't offer any advice is because you haven't figured your own life out yet.
Just felt like I needed to say that coz my parents, well.... my mum, did the same thing. And it's just horrible.
It's basically like I didn't have parents.

Originally Posted by melanieb

More likely it's just that I live at the corner of a T-intersection, so city trucks all park outside my house to work on the pipes, the sewer, or the power/cable lines, because all of these things intersect outside my house.

As for my neighbors....well...they just suck.

I have as much green as I can on this property, including a dense bamboo forest that I never wanted, courtesy of the previous neighbor who thought it would be a good idea to plant it along the property line.

Asses.

You can get bamboo that doesn't spread. You should cut all that old stuff down and plant the non-invasive variety. It grows really quick still, but it stays in a bunch.

I hope everyone feels better (Taffy) and is staying safe (Erii!!)

Unfortunately, my hubby tends to be one of those asses when dealing with people. It depends on the amount of noise pollution, how long he's been on his feet and how low his blood sugar is. But I always tell him to be nice, and he almost always holds back or walks away to sit down while I deal with the people.
I always remind him about the story of our Baltic Cruise some years back. It was a MacMania Cruise. We were laid over in Washington (I think it was). There was a couple with young kids. The kids were rowdy and all the more so because of the delay. The father got down on the floor and tried distracting the kids but my husband saw it as "Hippy parenting".
I told him to be nice and he held his tongue.
When we got to the Cruise ship, that man turned out to be David Pogue, one of the speakers on the cruise

My rant is my .......... (drum roll please) stinking fatigue.
I went to see my daughters today. I fell asleep at around 1:30AM and I woke at 8:30AM. I stopped for gas, breakfast burritos and a drink. I could hardly stay awake for the drive. About 15 minutes from the foster family's house, I pulled over and called them to let them know I would be about 15 minutes late because I needed a power nap. Wth.
About 15 minutes away from home, on my way back, I had to pull over and take another nap. I set my cellphone for 4PM, giving myself 20 minutes to sleep. But I forgot to turn the alarm on- I was THAT tired- and I slept until 4:30. I woke because I had overheated sleepy in the car, in the sun.
I had taken green tea/hoodia as well as a caffeine pill. I know I'm pretty immune to caffeine but it usually helps give me at least a LITTLE edge.

When I got home, I googled "caffeine catalepsy" because, for years, I've been certain I suffer from it. When I'm not on anti-anxiety meds, I get so sleepy when stressed that I will fall asleep no matter what I'm doing- talking, driving, writing... but it's progressive. When it first hits hard, I have the fatigue, the my face tingles, my hands tingle, my speech becomes slurred like I'm drunk, I lose control of my body, I see two realities before me- a dream and what's really going on and then I fall completely asleep.
But it turns out, people in a catalepsic (sp) state are completely conscious.
I read on about narcolepsy and boy did that ring true. When I get hit hardest I will continue doing whatever WHILE I'm asleep. If I'm writing, I'll continue to write but it becomes complete chicken scratch lol. In my younger years, my ex-hubby always insisted on massages etc before sleep and I'd be completely asleep but still going through the motions. I've always called it "going on autopilot".

I don't know what the hell's going on with me, but it's driving me completely bonkers!

I tried dropping my daughter off early, but the foster family had gone out. I drove to the house through a crowd and 3 cop cars! I dropped her off but she flagged me down, so I drove through the incident then turned around and had to drive through the cops again lol.
Then we waited in the car and absorbed all the drama. Turns out, my daughter is living in "the ghetto". There are frequent gun shots on the street she lives on. There are frequent fights.
The cops ended up leaving right before the foster parents returned. The fight resumed right away and the crowd was back in the street and one guy was threatening a bunch of people with a baseball bat As I left, the cops were returning.

So.... the state is going to remove my kids from my home because of skipping school (everything else came out after the fact), and then place them someplace like that?!
Yeah, yeah... that doesn't change the fact I'm a horrible mom. I know that. I realize it's best for my kids NOT to be with me. But for some reason it still irks the hell out of me. I don't know. Maybe it's like the pot that calls the kettle black. I'm not best for my kids, okay, I know that. But you seem to think you have all the answers and can do a better job, and THAT's the result? Don't freagin call me a horrible parent and then put my childs LIFE at risk
But hey, at least in the States care, they might die quickly instead of living into adulthood being bums on society... (as their life choices were then directing them)

teehee I really said bandaid though



edit for Zhaylin:

I don't think you're a horrible mom. At all. But it sounds to me like you suffer from narcolepsy. I'm no shrink or doctor. It just seems like no amount of sleep in the whole universe is enough for you, and you keep beating yourself up for it. Of course it's impossible to keep track of family, kids, chores, jobs, anything, when you feel like you need at least 12 hours of sleep. Will power alone is not enough to get through, or even begin to cope with something like this.

So curious, what does your doctor think? I mean, I know they tend to UNDERdiagnose these days, gotta cover their asses. Obviously their asses are far more precious than ours. But still, have they ever even mentioned narcolepsy to you?

Originally Posted by Linkzelda

Oh no, don't worry about it OldSparta, I know you have to deal with a lot of shit from your job. It's just that I realized that I really am a freak sometimes.

(It's just an insecurity that I found out about myself, nothing towards what you said or anything)

lol for what it's worth, I do have a small bondage fetish. Nothing major, but I've always wondered what it be like to be tied up and... yeah.

Zhaylin

Originally Posted by tommo

You can get bamboo that doesn't spread. You should cut all that old stuff down and plant the non-invasive variety. It grows really quick still, but it stays in a bunch.

Honestly, I don't want either variety of it, and cutting it all down would only contain the issue for a year. The roots stay buried and can sprout at any point, or even travel for up to 20 feet belowground before resurfacing. Removing the bamboo, all the way down, would literally mean removing fences and tilling up around 600SqFt of yard, if not more.

I really don't want to do that.

I don't want to remove it all by hand, either, but at least it's a good workout.

Sucks, though. I tried to shuffle cards tonight and I slipped a couple of times because my hands hurt.

Start making/selling bamboo didgeridoos.

^^^Sorry to hear about you getting hurt!


I actually do cut down the really thick stuff and let it dry and harden. Then I use the poles as supports for the haunted house. I use duct tape and draw-tites to lash them together, as well as twine, and they make strong yet flexible supports that hold up the thick black plastic for the walls and ceiling.

It's really useful stuff, I just don't want it growing in my yard. It causes...problems.

I have no one to go to, not my family, not my "friends", no one.

You have us.

Many here would never turn away a fellow dreamer.

Damn it, I want six pack abs already.

It's going to be hard to get serious with working out now. I'm only doing it so I can draw myself when I do get six pack abs, and a bit of muscle.

Ugh....impossible goals link!

Originally Posted by sefalik

^ Where in PA are you (if you don't mind me asking)? I'm on the east coast, in the lehigh valley. And Agalloch is awesome.

While riding today, I hit some thorn branches. Normally, I might just get a quick prick or a little scratch. But this particular branch got me good. Four "needles" actually stuck in my arm. So as I was riding, my arm started bringing the branch with (this jabbed the thorns in deeper). By the time I realized this and was about to stop moving, the already did their damage and broke leaving just the stubs for me to pull out.

Little buggers hurt!

I've always lived near philadelphia, now I'm northwest in the middle of the wilderness.

Ok, so I can rant here? Well then, I used to be really shy. Like I couldn't talk to no one no how not no where kind of shy. And no, the gatekeeper said I couldn't see the wizard for it. So I suffered a long while with it and just kept trying to get better at talking to people. So I can do that now, although I do still tend to be on the quiet side. It is just back then I perceived talking to a girl I had a crush on would sound abnormal, something like this:

^ I wish I could see that picture from my phone. lol

Imagine Bobcat Goldthwait from Police Academy talking to a woman.

I wish I saw that show or movie to know who that is. : /

You could probably Google that, even from your phone.

Originally Posted by tommo

Been lazy on posting here for a while, trying to get my life on track! But should reply to a couple of things.
Letting ALL the decision making go to a child is really not a good idea. I know we have an idealistic view of freedom in our culture at the moment, probably due to the overbearing parents of the industrial revolution.
However, it is not a good idea to go completely in the opposite direction. Doesn't mean you have to force them to do stuff, just reason with them and show them why something is a good thing to do etc.
If you really don't know, when you're old enough to have a kid, what to tell them and how to help them, probably just don't have a kid.
But I suspect the reason you feel like you can't offer any advice is because you haven't figured your own life out yet.
Just felt like I needed to say that coz my parents, well.... my mum, did the same thing. And it's just horrible.
It's basically like I didn't have parents.

You mean your mum lets you decide on everything?

I was the opposite of you. My mum decides everything for me. But it's hard to say I wouldn't be controlling if I become a parent myself. I'll probably plans stuffs and such but I will try and not make them agree with what I think. Regarding right and wrong things, I wasn't really taught about them. Somehow, I just knew.

Anyway I thought many people haven't really figure out their own life too? They don't seem too keen in finding out answers for unanswered questions whereas I'm always poking my nose into things. I probably want to figure out almost all of life's questions before I'm ready to give advice to anyone, especially my kids.

If I had kids, god knows how they'd turn out. It's not even worth thinking about that lol.

I had a sleep test done several years ago and they ruled out narcolepsy, but said I have sleep apnea and restless leg- both extremely mild. The doctor said that extreme exhaustion can cause a person to go on autopilot and fall into dreams the second they close their eyes.
One thing about me that's not traditional for narcoleptics is that I'm not energized by naps. If I lay down for a nap, then I'll sleep for several hours.
Which is why I say "who knows". I have had narcolepsy symptoms my whole life, even when fully rested, but the Doctor knows best, right? He has all the cool gadgets that lets him see what's really going on.

I've not lowered my bed yet. I want to give it a few days. But I did discover something odd. I'm not waking up with acid reflux anymore. But I have been waking up belching. I do the same thing if I fall asleep at my desk. WTH? lol
I also discovered why the puppy wakes up in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning throwing up. She's an alcoholic She steals my baby wipes from my hand when I"m sleeping and then she sucks all the junk out of them I put 2 and 2 together when I tried napping yesterday and she went insane trying to get the wipe out of my hand. Weird dog, killing her liver. She has plenty of water so what the heck!
My son and I have been reading the Hunger Games books and I told him I was going to start calling the puppy Haymitch

Wayfaerer and EarthInferno.

My rant is that I was having some good dreams but the birds woke me up screeching for food. What the heck? I fed them before I went to sleep? I woke up too quickly and forgot most of the dreams.

Originally Posted by EarthInferno

Ok, so I can rant here? Well then, I used to be really shy. Like I couldn't talk to no one no how not no where kind of shy. And no, the gatekeeper said I couldn't see the wizard for it. So I suffered a long while with it and just kept trying to get better at talking to people. So I can do that now, although I do still tend to be on the quiet side. It is just back then I perceived talking to a girl I had a crush on would sound abnormal, something like this:

Well, that didn't end too bad actually.

Oh and remember, introversion is a normal personality trait, not a disorder. ^_^

Originally Posted by Linkzelda

Damn it, I want six pack abs already.

It's going to be hard to get serious with working out now. I'm only doing it so I can draw myself when I do get six pack abs, and a bit of muscle.

Ugh....impossible goals link!

Why not just draw yourself with a six pack?

Originally Posted by Wolfwood

Why not just draw yourself with a six pack?

Then I would look like I'm desperate for females to compliment on something I don't even have, lol.


Wait............

>.>

Originally Posted by Wayfaerer

I've always lived near philadelphia, now I'm northwest in the middle of the wilderness.

Wanna swap? I'd love to live in the wilderness.