Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

I'm confused. I wasn't getting a 'joking' vibe from that post, and it was confusing.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

Link, you need to calm down, honey. He was just poking fun. No one here is against you. But if you need a break from posting you're welcome to take it, just remember that our posting here is all in good fun.

Dark - don't you think it's a little hypocritical to go back and edit your post? I never would've seen your question if I hadn't refreshed.

Doh!!

And Link - bump it man!! (closest thing I could find to a fist smiley)

I gotta say, I didn't really get it either, but you did mention April Fools, and April Fool's jokes are usually like that. I remember one year when a guy at work called in to say he couldn't make it to work because he was in jail for rape and wanted us to come up with bail money...

HAHA oh my GOD ^^

I know, right? He had us going for like 2 hours! We were pretty pissed when he walked in later all smiles, but then we just all busted out laughing.

Glad we could all bond over Ophelia's backside in here!!

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

I know, right? He had us going for like 2 hours! We were pretty pissed when he walked in later all smiles, but then we just all busted out laughing.

Glad we could all bond over Ophelia's backside in here!!

awwwww :hugs:

Originally Posted by greenhavoc

extended discussion is fast becoming a propaganda tool for hypocrites.
there's nothing positive in that section at all. maybe if i put this in bold, red lettering someone will pay attention to it.

Given that there's such a jolly, emphatetic and supportive spirit in this thread those arguing over science, politics and religions should look up to here. Sorrow, emptiness, weakness, suffering and helplessnes when facing this crazy world are the things that really connect people. It's no suprise that since I dared to open up here (which was before the cheerfull thread) I've found how many of the same people also post to happy and cheerfull thread. This tells a lot,, steam out and then again to face world with a smiling face. Maybe sometimes still slightly bitter but lighter than when i hold it back.

On to Rant and Rave: Today I again landed on reality (in some form) yesterdays crazyness was over and memories of dreams started to sink under daylight. (at the moment recall is getting back,, i'm alone awake and in a place where i can write and return to dreaming practice) Today I wrote 3 hours text for comic i'm doing with my sister. I got one sheet text, very well expressed sentences of mood, miljoun, main characters and everything. I saved the file and when I returned to it there had been some anomalic malfunction. Size of te file was 0k and text was gone. I can't remember when last time i've felt that kind of slow and quiet rage filling my guts. I was at my friends and had no reason to let it out for they were not to blame. My host had a hangover, so it would have been last thing I would liked to do. So it grow inside of me.

It's like for last atleast a month almost nothing had happened in my waking if I hadn't done some art and dreaming to make it happen. I've staid long times in my private bubble without anyone calling or otherwise connecting to me while I know that I have lot of friends who love and care about me. My calls get unreturned and if I manage to get a hold on someone the timing is bad.. If I don't do something artfull, meditative or beautifull. When I work it's like >tzadaam< people start to find my status posts, answer calls, mails and txtmessages. I catch them at the right time. So for being prisoned into this "do and get rewarded" waking dream for a long enough time.. there have been days of very deep loneliness. I don't blame anyone, for it was my decission (if not completely conscious) to sink into dreamingmeditative world. But I've felt loneliness for sure. In this light the destruction of days work hit me with burden of propably lonely and hard night. Even if i on some level know that this is passing stage or illusionary prison, it's hard to let go of experiences and believes that have lasted quite long

Luckily thing that helped me through this day was good old well met angryness. I went for a smoke fantacising about killing first people who would pass me in the street. They (there was two) seemed so lost in their lifes that I could't hold on that righteouss rage but was forced to take pity on them. It was ridiculous, anyone I met or saw seemed more lost than me. Absolute no-one to blame. No-one to come and look me in a bad way or complain about me smoking front of doorway. So I went back inside, grabbed my phone and tried to think about one person I could share my feelings with. (I've visited the FB [no-one had anything to say to me and all seem lost in their lifes] and logged out almost immediatly, I've logged here [all communication was about esoteric dreaming topics and I had no real dreamlike recall, just days work kind of Fuck You All spirit] and couldn't find sympathy for problems in this thread and didn't have a state of mind to express my anger in a civil way.. Sorry for that. So I was with phone and out of all the people I could think of one that I could trust to level with me if I could reach him. There are some more, but what I've last heard of them there's some problems between us (either they have some problems atm or i have problems talking to the them which is quite a same thing to me).

Long story short. I reached him, he leveled, we had a electric conversation and laughted at crazyness of the world at the end. Slightly broke my bubble of alone in the island experience. So guess the moral is that if you have even one person at the time you're able to reach and share your feelings without either of you bringer other to much down, you're lucky. Guess I'm lucky. So I went to eat and back to Irish bar with laptop, drank and wrote 3 sheets of text of pure dynamite. People started to call and connect to me while I went productive.. so my illusion holds somewhat still.. but I'm trying to start from the thought that even if it's impossible to find connection to those you long most, you can find the one person who is best there is to offer. And be happy for that one person.

oh my god

at least he highlighted a part, so I will keep my word and read the entire post

Originally Posted by labyrint

It's like for last atleast a month almost nothing had happened in my waking if I hadn't done some art and dreaming to make it happen. I've staid long times in my private bubble without anyone calling or otherwise connecting to me while I know that I have lot of friends who love and care about me. My calls get unreturned and if I manage to get a hold on someone the timing is bad.. If I don't do something artfull, meditative or beautifull. When I work it's like >tzadaam< people start to find my status posts, answer calls, mails and txtmessages. I catch them at the right time. So for being prisoned into this "do and get rewarded" waking dream for a long enough time.. there have been days of very deep loneliness.

Oooooh..

Originally Posted by labyrint

but I'm trying to start from the thought that even if it's impossible to find connection to those you long most, you can find the one person who is best there is to offer. And be happy for that one person.

"If you can't beee with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with. Love the one you're with."

So Laby, is that really 100%, that your people only seem to pay attention to you when you're doing something artistic or constructive? But then the rest of the time, it's just, nothingness?

Originally Posted by Linkzelda41

I can't believe this. Why would you think I would be horny over DV members, that's SICKENING man!

No it isnt

Originally Posted by mooseantlers

No it isnt

true that.. I nailed at least 2

Originally Posted by mooseantlers

No it isnt

Says the one with the antlers, you think I'd have a chance against those? I'd get killed in an instant!

Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

true that.. I nailed at least 2

And I'm in a committed relationship.

Which leads me to say something i've said many times "DV is the best site ever!"

Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

It would take a true necro to pull that post out of the DV crypt.

Challenge accepted.

Originally Posted by mooseantlers

And I'm in a committed relationship.

Which leads me to say something i've said many times "DV is the best site ever!"

Me too! Don't get me wrong, the nailing occurred yeaaaars before I met the love of my life.

And yes, DV is awesome.

Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

true that.. I nailed at least 2

Really? Who?

Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

Me too! Don't get me wrong, the nailing occurred yeaaaars before I met the love of my life.

Yet im still a virgin xD. Ohh, why wont the summer be sooner?

Originally Posted by mooseantlers

Yet im still a virgin xD. Ohh, why wont the summer be sooner?

Ditto.

It's hot and I can't drive myself to the beach which is about 5 mins drive away I'm still on my Learner's license.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

Really? Who?

Oh sugar I was joking...

Of course my memory has been failing me these days

Or maybe she's just not the type to nail and tell..

The most relevant thing I could find was someone requesting a picture of your "boob" (yes, just one)
And some.... uhm.... interesting pictures of Nina.

No ass to be found lol

Oh yeah, except for this


Oh and one in a pink bra. I will leave that in the deep recesses of DV.

Originally Posted by tommo

The most relevant thing I could find was someone requesting a picture of your "boob" (yes, just one)
And some.... uhm.... interesting pictures of Nina.

No ass to be found lol

Yeah the 'boob' photo is when a disgruntled member (who had a provocative photo of me, long story) decided to get revenge by posting the full size photo.

Fortunately the staff removed it before too many people saw (saved) it. But the aftermath, oh god.

Good times

WOW! There's been a LOT of activity today!


Ophelia, your bruise looks awesome- too bad it will take so long for it to go away. But it's good that it doesn't hurt!!

And Link, You REALLY had me going there for a minute!!

My rant is that I just woke up. My day was so exhausting that when I came home I collapsed into bed- slipper socks, leggings, long skirt, undershirt, THICK sweater- the whole shebang. I woke up right before 11 burning up.
I can't remember being THAT exhausted in a long time. It was both mental and physical- but especially physical.

My oldest daughter cried and cursed the entire 40 minutes to visit her sister. She REALLY wanted to come home. I tried being all reasonable: "Your home is wherever your family is." But she was having none of it. What it all came down to though is that she's uncertain about life. They still haven't found a foster family for her and she just found out her DHHR case worker had dropped the kids 2 weeks ago (I wasn't even told, my youngest daughter informed me).

Then we visited Myles and he looked really well. He gave me a letter after MUCH hesitation and ordered me to read it only once I had gotten home.

---- I just spent 30 minutes talking to hubby and then I read my sons letter.
He made me promise (in the letter) NOT to tell anyone because then "I'd have to kill them all and then probably myself" but you guys don't count because he doesn't know you.

He says he feels transgender, that he can see himself wearing women's clothing and that he's a major sex addict. WHAT?! Myles?! He made a point of saying "I'm not gay either".
I mean, I know he shaves everything. I used to get onto him because he wouldn't rinse the tub out afterwards (which is how I found out to begin with). But Myles is very OCD, so I thought it was just one of those things.
He's never shown ANY interest in sex at ALL. Which is why this is so shocking.
But he said the secret was killing him and he had to tell someone. I don't care one way or another, it's just a shock. How could I have read him so wrong and known him so inaccurately???!!!

And now I'm berating myself for screwing up SOMEWHERE along the line (as if being gay or transgender is a choice). My oldest son thinks it's okay to fiddle with his sister, my oldest daughter has had a WAY too active sex life for her age, my youngest daughter is a drug addict and may have sold herself for favors, and now my baby boy?! What the heck?! The "laws" of statistics says at least one of them should have turned out "normal". Unless these occurrence are environmental.

And of course, Myles writes so poorly, I didn't even understand a small portion of what he wrote.
Now how do I proceed? I want to acknowledge what he said and reassure him that I'm not going judge or condemn him... but I don't want to make him uncomfortable and don't know if I should wait until he mentions it again.

**EDIT**
And in the 30-40 minutes I hadn't posted this, more posts appeared lol
Y'all are very busy today

^^ I admit I have missed ALOT in this thread.

I've been posting goofy stuff for laughs, but not taking the time to read long posts with real content and true suffering. At the risk of sounding like an ignorant ass, Zhaylin, I noticed you mentioned the word 'foster.'

Are your kids not with you? Sorry, I wasn't familiar with DHHS worker (googling it now)