Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Complaint: Half way through typing this I had to stop and go clean up my cat's puke. DX

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Hmmm... DMT... must Google. If it's so powerful, why don't people dig up the stuff? It's MUCH easier to find than (I'd imagine) shrooms. The Mimosa is a migratory "alien" to WV (prefers warmer weather by and large), but they're still easy to come by.

Oh, people do. A lot of people are just nervous about doing it, plus it's just not as widely known as drugs like acid and shrooms. But mimosa hostilis is actually the most commonly used source for DMT these days, even the one most often used in Ayahuasca analogues. If you decide to try to use it... definitely do a good amount of research first. It's something you want to be prepared for, as is any psychedelic experience.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

I am currently annoyed by my curiosity and the need to know things I couldn't even begin to comprehend.

There are several "Empirical Laws" that I observe such as "Don't take medicine on an empty stomach". Okay, I understand that one to a basic degree. But how about "You'll get a headache if you don't eat regularly"? I WOULD understand that one if my blood pressure or blood sugar levels changed. But they don't to any significant degree. And because of my curiosity, I have monitored such things.
I drink soda and smoke too many cigarettes. Does food dilute those things which keep the headaches at bay? But is caffeine and nicotine processed as food is? If I smoke too many cigarettes on an empty stomach I'll barf but is that a separate mechanism? I could ask my hubby to explain it to me but he doesn't "dumb down" his answers enough for me and I don't understand half of what he tells me.

Anyhow... I'm making myself eat so I can take my daily meds and supplements. Otherwise, there's nothing special going on today thank goodness.

Maybe your body's just mad at you for not eating so it's punishing you with headaches? Caffeine is probably processed the same way food is for certain situations. Nicotine is most likely not. Your body understands based just on your perception of the situation whether or not what you're putting into it is food. That's one of the reasons you're supposed to take medicine with food, so that your body prepares to digest it. It will generally prepare to fight anything you don't think of that way. An anecdote I like to tell for this topic is that when I did shrooms all the time, I would actually say "I'm going to eat some shrooms" or something similar, and then one time when I was on ecstasy, a drug which both makes me want to take as many more drugs as possible and also severely reduces my appetite, someone asked me in that same way "You wanna eat some shrooms?" and my first reaction was for my stomach to clench because I thought of them as food and I was really not hungry. XD

Originally Posted by Dianeva

All this talk about drugs, Alyzarin, is making me want to do them. Anything. I wish I even had pot, but I have no way to get anything. So I started to consider consuming some of my mom's sleeping pills that I used to when I was younger which made me high, or maybe some of the other many meds she takes. I'm thinking I'm probably making a mistake, and if I were thinking clearly I might realise that it would be a stupid thing to do, but I really can't tell.

I'm sorry, you really should try to avoid taking those pills. Pot would probably be fine. I really need to stop talking about them so much for my own sake too, eventually I'm going to convince myself to do something I'll regret. Prescription drugs are generally just something you want to avoid. They feel great, but they're pretty terrible for you to take to get high, and sometimes even just for their prescribed uses.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

The state I was in a couple months ago seems to be returning. I'm almost always depressed and my brain is working incorrectly. I've been forgetting things that I never forget, or remembering them wrongly, only to realise later and be a bit freaked out.

In general I'm obsessing over things, focusing too much on details. My mind fixates on something and I can't let it go, like this poem, The Raven. I've memorised the first 4 stanzas and feel I must memorize the entire thing. I don't want to listen to music, only recordings of the poem spoken by different people, and while on the bus I just keep repeating it to myself over and over. In class I was writing what I'd memorised over and over and didn't care at all that I was missing class information, it didn't seem to matter. I couldn't even get my mind to consider why it might matter. Now even when I try to stop I can't, I just hear the poem being spoken in my head, like when a song gets stuck in your head. It's starting to make me feel nauseous and yet I continue to fixate on it, even consciously, I choose to keep listening to it and memorising it.

I can't even say this state is a bad thing, because it isn't good nor bad, I'm hardly feeling anything at all on a conscious level, just misery in the back of my mind. It's like I'm a machine, focusing on something, and I suppose emotion is expressed through it but in a distorted way that isn't even sadness anymore, just hopelessness and rage.

I suppose this thread is good, as it feels relieving to have written this.

I'm glad you can find some relief here.

You sound like me with that one horror anime. My last year of high school it was pretty much all I thought about. Remember the scene with the laugh, and the girl with the knife? (The suicide scene, not the torture scene.) I had it on my iPod looping over... and over... and over... all day long. The anime was the only thing I ever talked about. When I wasn't watching an episode or one of those scenes, I was listening to the soundtrack (or related songs, like from the games of it). Even in class was the same, I'd just be drawing things like the hatchet that is the symbol of the series (I haven't posted it anywhere, but this is it: <link>) or the girl doing the laugh, and just similar stuff. I'd scribble the name of the anime on every paper I was handed, or sometimes I'd go all the way and draw it out really stylized.

I even thought of myself as a machine, experiencing emotions but really on a more objective level than anything. This all just sounds like an aspect of depression to me, 'cause that's what it was for me. To break out of it I pretty much had to convince myself that life was worth living, by no means an easy feat.

(It's taking me forever to finish this so people keep posting. ) Pretty much as has been said, it'll probably get a little less severe with age, and the best way to fight against it is really just stay focused on avoiding it. Actively look for good things in life and find new things that interest you. What is it about the poem that appeals to you so much, anyway?

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Every time I found myself engaged in a negative thought process, I'd simply say to myself: "Shut up, Brain. I don't want to hear it.

Wait, Brian?

Dude I thought you were a chick

Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

Wait, Brian?

Dude I thought you were a chick

Maybe you should read that again.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

What is it about the poem that appeals to you so much, anyway?

Just to barge in on your private conversation here I love the poem too. So simple yet eerie in so many ways. Also of course I love the rest of Allen Poe's writing. Especially The Tell-Tale Heart.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

Maybe you should read that again.

Oh haha, stupid dyslexia. I wasn't sure, I've been mistaken on this forum about a person's gender sometimes, so I'll always ask.

That said:

(When I wrote this the last post I saw was #4999)

I drank the last two days and have just gotten over the hangover, so I don't feel like drinking again quite yet.

I was often depressed when I was a teenager too, and then I got older, matured, whatever it was, and got over it. What I'm feeling now is not teen angst, it's event-driven. And I appreciate the concern but I would not get into hard drugs. I wasn't implying that I think they'd solve my problems, and merely felt like doing it at the time, like the states that Alyzarin talks about would be nice to achieve. I have never done a drug besides alcohol and would like to know at least what it's like, at some point in my life. As I said, I couldn't get them anyway. I have no friends and am not the type to hang out in alleyways or however people get their dealers.

My mind feels so stupid right now, so behind. Like I should not be experiencing this, it's so god damn frustrating. I cannot even think properly, and it's probably my fault. I'm being mistaken for a teenager. Maybe I am that behind. When I was younger I was determined to be the opposite of what I am, to be wiser than others and mentally free, to have realised things that need to be realising. Yet still, now, at 22 I find myself in some mental cage. Others hint at having discovered knowledge, people my own age or younger, that I must discover for myself. I cannot describe how frustrated and hopeless that makes me feel. It seems that I have come to proper realisations, that almost every piece of wisdom people try to tell me is something that I have come up with before. Yet now I've fallen into some mental trap, and forget everything. The happiness I was feeling a few weeks ago due to the pointlessness of everything. I'm just unable to feel it. I will have to break free from it, I'm so frustrated right now I literally want to kill somebody, to crash some fragile sculpture someone spent years creating. Fuck... I'm sorry for venting this here. I will try to get past this, going for a long walk now. The negativity is showing through and I realise I want to stop feeling what I am so fucking badly.

EDIT 1:

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Every time I found myself engaged in a negative thought process, I'd simply say to myself: "Shut up, Brain. I don't want to hear it." It took a really long time to completely overcome the habit, but I did.
Pay attention to your thoughts. As soon as you start noticing they're fixating negatively on something, do or MAKE yourself think of something else.
In the beginning, I was redirecting my thoughts several times a minute.

If it's a persistent problem that you can't solve on your own, don't be afraid to ask for help if you're able to.

Thanks Zhaylin. I do know that the negative thought processes need to be stopped. There is something I find unsettling though about forcing myself to in the way you describe, like I'd just be brainwashing myself or something.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

You sound like me with that one horror anime. My last year of high school it was pretty much all I thought about. Remember the scene with the laugh, and the girl with the knife? (The suicide scene, not the torture scene.) I had it on my iPod looping over... and over... and over... all day long. The anime was the only thing I ever talked about. When I wasn't watching an episode or one of those scenes, I was listening to the soundtrack (or related songs, like from the games of it). Even in class was the same, I'd just be drawing things like the hatchet that is the symbol of the series (I haven't posted it anywhere, but this is it: <link>) or the girl doing the laugh, and just similar stuff. I'd scribble the name of the anime on every paper I was handed, or sometimes I'd go all the way and draw it out really stylized.

I even thought of myself as a machine, experiencing emotions but really on a more objective level than anything. This all just sounds like an aspect of depression to me, 'cause that's what it was for me. To break out of it I pretty much had to convince myself that life was worth living, by no means an easy feat.

It's nice to know that you and others have had similar experiences. Yeah, I remember the anime scene and for some reason it comes to mind often. I don't think I respond to it anything like you but there is definitely something about it that's made it stick in my mind.
Ugh, the problem is I have convinced myself that life is worth living. Every few months I seem to do that, I just forget it and go back to the way I was every time. I don't know what this is. I am feeling better though, just talking about it. Now I'm really going for a walk and will try to convince myself not to be miserable. So thanks everyone, you are all amazing (dreading refreshing the page and seeing 10 more posts I need to respond to, I can't leave...!)

EDIT 2:

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

What is it about the poem that appeals to you so much, anyway?

I feel that I can relate to it, to be honest. I feel the mood and content of the poem capture my feelings quite well. It also sounds amazing, all the internal rhymes, etc. serve to create the mood. Even the fact itself that I'm obsessing over the poem, the repetition of the poem itself, is reflected in all the repetition within the poem, of the raven who won't leave him alone.
I spent hours last night recording myself reciting the poem aloud over and over. I eventually posted one on youtube but took it down this morning.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

I was often depressed when I was a teenager too, and then I got older, matured, whatever it was, and got over it. What I'm feeling now is not teen angst, it's event-driven. And I appreciate the concern but I would not get into hard drugs. I wasn't implying that I think they'd solve my problems, and merely felt like doing it at the time, like the states that Alyzarin talks about would be nice to achieve. I have never done a drug besides alcohol and would like to know at least what it's like, at some point in my life. As I said, I couldn't get them anyway. I have no friends and am not the type to hang out in alleyways or however people get their dealers.

OK, my sincerest apologies for sounding patronising. I really hope you get better

I wouldn't call that teenage angst either, mainly for the obvious reason that you're not a teenager. But in some ways, some parts of your mind might be. I think I am the same way. I feel like I'm pretty damn smart for a 37 year old as far as acumen. But emotionally, I am sometimes worse than my boyfriend's teenage daughter. I can't think of an example at the moment, but I find myself occasionally looking at other people my age, and wondering how they seem so happy and stable compared to me haha. That's when I try to shut it down and remember how far I have come in the last decade or so. (bad husband > another bad husband > single mom living with alcoholic mom > single mom living with alcoholic abusive boyfriend > battered women's shelter > single mom on my own > best boyfriend ever in a house with good jobs).

Wow, everytime I go through that little timeline, I feel loads better. I wish everyone could have a timeline that finally gets happy like that, but I guess some of y'all are still stuck in the middle parts. I feel for you.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

I was often depressed when I was a teenager too, and then I got older, matured, whatever it was, and got over it. What I'm feeling now is not teen angst, it's event-driven. And I appreciate the concern but I would not get into hard drugs. I wasn't implying that I think they'd solve my problems, and merely felt like doing it at the time, like the states that Alyzarin talks about would be nice to achieve. I have never done a drug besides alcohol and would like to know at least what it's like, at some point in my life. As I said, I couldn't get them anyway. I have no friends and am not the type to hang out in alleyways or however people get their dealers.

That's one of the big reasons I started doing them, I just had to know how they felt. Psychedelics are nice, if you do them in the right frame of mind they won't harm you. Other than those and weed there's not a lot I can really recommend in good conscious, except for some basic legal relaxant herbs (they're not as strong as the illegal drugs, which kinda makes sense). Things like catnip, kava kava, kanna, wild dagga, skullcap, blue lotus.... Those are pretty harmless, and can be ordered online safely. (I think I might order some myself in a minute. >_>) But my point is, I can definitely understand the curiosity.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

My mind feels so stupid right now, so behind. Like I should not be experiencing this, it's so god damn frustrating. I cannot even think properly, and it's probably my fault. I'm being mistaken for a teenager. Maybe I am that behind. When I was younger I was determined to be the opposite of what I am, to be wiser than others and mentally free, to have realised things that need to be realising. Yet still, now, at 22 I find myself in some mental cage. Others hint at having discovered knowledge, people my own age or younger, that I must discover for myself. I cannot describe how frustrated and hopeless that makes me feel. It seems that I have come to proper realisations, that almost every piece of wisdom people try to tell me is something that I have come up with before. Yet now I've fallen into some mental trap, and forget everything. The happiness I was feeling a few weeks ago due to the pointlessness of everything. I'm just unable to feel it. I will have to break free from it, I'm so frustrated right now I literally want to kill somebody, to crash some fragile sculpture someone spent years creating. Fuck... I'm sorry for venting this here. I will try to get past this, going for a long walk now. The negativity is showing through and I realise I want to stop feeling what I am so fucking badly.

It's nice to know that you and others have had similar experiences. Yeah, I remember the anime scene and for some reason it comes to mind often. I don't think I respond to it anything like you but there is definitely something about it that's made it stick in my mind.
Ugh, the problem is I have convinced myself that life is worth living. Every few months I seem to do that. I don't know what this is. I am feeling better though, just talking about it. Now I'm really going for a walk and will try to convince myself not to be miserable. So thanks everyone, you are all amazing (dreading refreshing the page and seeing 10 more posts I need to respond to, I can't leave...!)

It's okay, if you feel you have learned these lessons and just forgotten them then they're not gone from your mind, they're just suppressed by depression. It sounds to me like you're not behind in anything, you're just talking yourself down because you're in a negative state of mind. I hope your walk goes well, just try to remember that you were happy not even that long ago, and you will be again even if it doesn't seem like it right now. That's just how depression works. :/ Also, you should never feel bad for venting, this thread is great. The reason I posted that long string of questions last night (about life and machines and whatnot) was because I was depressed at the beginning of it but half way through I started feeling better just typing some of it up, and by then end I was just distracted and interested in keeping the thought flow going. I love this place.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

I feel that I can relate to it, to be honest. I feel the mood of the poem captures my feelings quite well. It also sounds amazing, all the internal rhymes, etc. serve to create the mood. Even the fact itself that I'm obsessing over the poem, the repetition of the poem itself, is reflected in all the repetition within the poem, of the raven who won't leave him alone.
I spent hours last night recording myself reciting the poem aloud over and over. I eventually posted one on youtube but took it down this morning.

Well, it is a good poem. Why did you take it down?

I'm going for a walk NOW and will respond to everyone on everywhere when I get back.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

My mind feels so stupid right now, so behind. Like I should not be experiencing this, it's so god damn frustrating. I cannot even think properly, and it's probably my fault. I'm being mistaken for a teenager. Maybe I am that behind. When I was younger I was determined to be the opposite of what I am, to be wiser than others and mentally free, to have realised things that need to be realising. Yet still, now, at 22 I find myself in some mental cage. Others hint at having discovered knowledge, people my own age or younger, that I must discover for myself. I cannot describe how frustrated and hopeless that makes me feel. It seems that I have come to proper realisations, that almost every piece of wisdom people try to tell me is something that I have come up with before. Yet now I've fallen into some mental trap, and forget everything. The happiness I was feeling a few weeks ago due to the pointlessness of everything. I'm just unable to feel it. I will have to break free from it, I'm so frustrated right now I literally want to kill somebody, to crash some fragile sculpture someone spent years creating. Fuck... I'm sorry for venting this here. I will try to get past this, going for a long walk now. The negativity is showing through and I realise I want to stop feeling what I am so fucking badly.

Yeah, it sucks when you start feeling like that. But it seems to me that's just a basic property of depression. You start feeling bad, you start having problems paying attention and getting things done, and you start feeling stupid.

So there's some text after this 'bout psychedelic therapy which is somewhat controversial though recently again discussed topic, even in serious psychologic circles.. this is by no way provocing but instead "do you're research first" and don't act along friendship pressure. There are things like set and settings, and some real dramas you can find yourself in. Even though in right setting these things can help you (and usually do in some point) overcome and understand.. even laught at.. serious problems and untie knots of your mind. As it's done for my general wellbeing and things I've never thought to get over with or be able to express to anyone

One thing 'bout DMT one of my friends said to me: "it's like a loading a gun with universe and pointing it at you're head"..

So book and movie about studies of DMT (spirit molechyle) are maybe good place to start, and site called nexus. I haven't gone whole the way with the subtance, but I can somehow tune into the channel-dmt for couple of my friends, all the reports I've read at the nexus, book and my basic borderlinish psyche. Even I'm little cautious 'bout the settings with it.. so guess i'm just waiting for perfect moment. Or maybe 'hyperspace pilots' need some sane, grounded and stable 'ground controls' like me

And as many times debunked and mythbustered in here: it has absolutely nothing to do with LD [why are they locking those topics]

So if you have main problem with depression, the DMT might not be the best key.. if you think about posibility of psychedelic therapy: shrooms and aya offer better are prooven help.. in right settings. Weed might even 'cause the depression.

And for Dianeva.. I've somehow managed to swim over serious depression.. Point of my life where I did nothing, didn't open computer, didn't listen to music, saw almost no-one, lived alone, didn't remember much - atleast positive things in cheering way - of my past life and couldn't do much I've had skills before (I just didn't have the skills)... so the life can change, to the point that just don't feel or appear,, at any level be possible to change. And over that change and next thing that was thought to be impossible

So have hope

Dianeva, have you had yourself diagnosed for clinical depression? The symptoms you describe sound like that's what you've got, and it's a serious illness that should be treated, just like any other illness. It's not just sadness (in spite of what a lot of people say who don't know about it). Take a look at a checklist and see if this seems to fit:

difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
fatigue and decreased energy
feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
irritability, restlessness
loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
overeating or appetite loss
persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings
thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts

If so then you should research online - there's a lot of info available. You should talk to your parents about getting an evaluation to see if that's what it is. If it is you should get some kind of treatment. Left untreated depression takes a terrible toll.

Originally Posted by labyrint

One thing 'bout DMT one of my friends said to me: "it's like a loading a gun with universe and pointing it at you're head"..

So book and movie about studies of DMT (spirit molechyle) are maybe good place to start, and site called nexus. I haven't gone whole the way with the subtance, but I can somehow tune into the channel-dmt for couple of my friends, all the reports I've read at the nexus, book and my basic borderlinish psyche. Even I'm little cautious 'bout the settings with it.. so guess i'm just waiting for perfect moment. Or maybe 'hyperspace pilots' need some sane, grounded and stable 'ground controls' like me

And as many times debunked and mythbustered in here: it has absolutely nothing to do with LD [why are they locking those topics]

So if you have main problem with depression, the DMT might not be the best key.. if you think about posibility of psychedelic therapy: shrooms and aya offer better are prooven help.. in right settings. Weed might even 'cause the depression.

I'd be cautious about anything you read at the DMT-Nexus. The admins and mods on the forums are fairly corrupt and will put out false information to help some sites and stores that are supporting them and bash others that aren't. However, DMT trip reports are generally okay there, especially because they're contributed by everyone. I just wouldn't necessarily take to heart all of the things they say, there are other places where you can get quality reports as well.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

I'm going for a walk NOW and will respond to everyone on everywhere when I get back.

See what y'all did? Gave her like a million novel-sized posts to read. It's like making her do homework.

Of course she posts long posts too. That's why I scan. Which is why I thought "Brain" was "Brian" heheeeee, I still ain't gonna read it all.

I know how patronicing it may feel for someone to diagnosize you, but if you feel it reliefing to have some reasons for feelings you seem to resonate not only towards me, then don't get yourself in the hands of blind medical system. If you really reconize yourself from diagnose above, then have some friend or trusty relative to defend your rights. I've many experinces of depressed people having worst kind of treatment posible for they can be ignored and handled ignoratly for they can't always represent themselfs. Most of the so called antidepresants have almost no power save placebo effect. It can be reliefing to trust in them and care, but depression get's easily chronic for it's hard and frustrating to stand depressed people so they easily get left in the bottom of their lakes (to be poetical.. but what i know of poetic language might be best way of expressing depressed states. Clinical talk don't go there. Art and doing are great ways to overcome and express them and heal yourself.)

I don't know what's the situation in Canada
But get over it by yourself, you are the only person able the express yourself and you have right to do it. Don't let anyone take you away that or tell you what it tells about you, if you can't relate to that. So if you have just 'Raven' to express your feelings it's somewhere to start
You have right to decide who can counsel you, who just makes mess of you by not being able to think outside his psychological box. Remember this if you ever need a shrink

"I'm gonna wash this crap right out of my brain..." Sometimes a mind needs a good washing
Don't mind me, I've been goofy/stupid since yesterday.

I used to be SO good at retraining myself. SI was originally used for that purpose to get rid of undesirable traits (I had a huge list with everything from Crying in Public and being greedy to saying bad words or making other people upset) But you eventually get used to the method and/or no longer care about the "problem". Now THAT was brainwashing myself. And what was good for me as a kid, has been detrimental as an adult. At the age of 37, I'm just NOW starting to use conversational curse words. My kids have seen me cry only a couple of times. I've always had a problem with being a doormat etc etc.

The taking control of my thoughts is just "behavioral" modification so long as I don't become hostile with myself.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

I'd be cautious about anything you read at the DMT-Nexus. The admins and mods on the forums are fairly corrupt and will put out false information to help some sites and stores that are supporting them and bash others that aren't. However, DMT trip reports are generally okay there, especially because they're contributed by everyone. I just wouldn't necessarily take to heart all of the things they say, there are other places where you can get quality reports as well.

I've realised that exact point. Glad someone else had

EDIT: there are more corrupted admns and mods than in DV

2ndEDIT: but you really cant blame them in either of places if they just reflections of your subconciousness

Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

I guess it's not for everybody. I don't get hung over from booze for some reason.

And while it doesn't depress me, I am more likely to start a fight if i get rubbed the wrong way. Other than that it makes me happy.

I do. If I drink heavily, I get horribly nauseous the next morning (around 10) and puke every half an hour for two - three hours, then I finally manage to get some sleep, and I'll wake up a few hours later feeling almost human again. Based on a limited sample size (twice), a few puffs of pot before I go to sleep would stop this from happening, but I don't have a hook-up :p

Booze can be really fun, and it is every once in a while. But if you're just sitting at home getting drunk alone, it'll almost always suck.

Sorry if it seemed patronizing! I just thought it was important and the only way I could think of to say it was straight out without a lot of hedging.

I know nothing about depression, but there are a lot of people around here who do, and who might be able to help you if that's what it is.

@khh

*steps in*

Just for the record, the class of drugs known as depressants are not called that because they make you depressed, they're called that because they reduce function in (depress) your central nervous system. It's the same reasons stimulants are called stimulants, because they stimulate the central nervous system. Depressants more often than not actually make you pretty happy.

Originally Posted by khh

Booze can be really fun, and it is every once in a while. But if you're just sitting at home getting drunk alone, it'll almost always suck.

Though I have to say, I really prefer being drunk alone. I use depressants mainly to stave off boredom, I find them rather annoying around people.

I'm afraid I've used alcohol recently only for being able to sit in some cafe or pub for a long while and write.. sometimes even connect to locals. I've been drinking one glass of whiskey or wine for like over 2 hours.

So I complain of making myself this dull.. on other occasions I've mostly danced and skipped good all loose my selfcontrol drunkeness

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

@khh

*steps in*

Just for the record, the class of drugs known as depressants are not called that because they make you depressed, they're called that because they reduce function in (depress) your central nervous system. It's the same reasons stimulants are called stimulants, because they stimulate the central nervous system. Depressants more often than not actually make you pretty happy.



Though I have to say, I really prefer being drunk alone. I use depressants mainly to stave off boredom, I find them rather annoying around people.

Yes and yes. I too drink alone to stifle boredom, or just to cope with the sheer mundane things in life. Isn't it odd that routine, what makes some people happy and content, to the point where they depend on it.. but I.. oh Christ.. I have to have wine before I can even contemplate the thought of doing the dishes. Daily chores. I want to rip my hair out.

On the flip side, when I hanging out with friends, the drinking just amplifies it and makes it more fun. But I've always been a bit of a social butterfly.. I can see how perhaps someone who is more shy might be uncomfortable drinking around others. Especially if it opens you up too much too soon and lowers inhibitions when you're not ready. I on the other hand, love to get drunk around others, and nearly always become the center of attention. But I'm narcissistic. And a former opera singer. I was meant for the stage.

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Sorry if it seemed patronizing! I just thought it was important and the only way I could think of to say it was straight out without a lot of hedging.

I know nothing about depression, but there are a lot of people around here who do, and who might be able to help you if that's what it is.

Didn't take it personally. Something in the tone just triggered something in (not appereantly so past) me. Guess I was just bit nervous for just defending the psychedelics