Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Sorry about the double post, but I didn't want to make my last one any longer than it already was!

I just got a call from the shelter my 14 year old daughter is at. She ran off out her bedroom window. When they find her, she'll most likely be going into detention.
The girl she got into trouble with is at the same shelter.
I spoke to my daughter right before 8PM and she was in a good mood. But she was talking about how much she would rather be in detention than the place they were sending her. She didn't want to be with her friend anymore. Whenever my daughter spoke about how she wanted to change and get back on track, the friend kept saying stuff like "Yeah, yeah. I know you too well. That will never happen." So, I think my daughter sabotaged herself to get away.
I hope they find her quickly.

You should tell them about that, then she won't get into trouble but she'll probably be allowed to move anyway.

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

I don't think anyone we know would want that responsibility, and I can't imagine it'd be any easier for them to find somebody for her. Interesting idea though.

Why not try a shelter in the next city over?

@ Zhaylin: Hope she turns up soon, safe and sound. I can't even begin to imagine what your going through. =/

Ugh... I just got a phone call from Bobbi's dad. The bestfriend ran WITH my daughter.
I told the shelter about my conversation with Zee and I told them if anyone knew anything it would be Bobbi. They're not even allowed to confirm who stays there unless you're directly connected, so now I feel foolish.

The Prosecuting Attorney JUST called. I told her about Daniel and she asked me about a teacher. She's worried about the girls. I hope they stay together until they're found.

Zhaylin, your problems make almost everyone else's sound like toe-stubbing.

How is my avatar confusing? It's a cat.

Really?



... Really?

Originally Posted by Dianeva

Zhaylin, your problems make almost everyone else's sound like toe-stubbing.

Correction: Zhaylin's posts of radiance makes any male's Pigment 680 go up to Pigment 700 (If you don't get the punch line, google p680 and p700 )

And oh my god, going to the Realtors to send my check for my rent is still a pain in the ass!

The regular route I took, I had to go ride my bicycle on a STEEP hill, and my bicycle has the tendency of shifting gears when too much pressure is applied (Like if I'm standing up pedaling).

Took another route, it's not so bad, but I still have to go up like 2 semi-hills. And because I thought it would be cold, I decided to wear a sweater AND a jacket. I'm back home now, sweating like a whore in church!

Originally Posted by Linkzelda41

(If you don't get the punch line, google p680 and p700 )

Googled:

P680, or Photosystem II primary donor, (where P stands for pigment) refers to any of the 2 special chlorophyll dimers (also named special pairs), PD1 or PD2[1]. These 2 special pairs form an excitonic dimer, which means that they behave in function as a single entity; i.e., they are excited as if they were a single molecule. The 680 number is its absorption maximum in the red part of the visible spectrum (680 nm). The primary donor receives excitation energy either by absorbing a photon of suitable frequency (colour) or by excitation energy transfer from other chlorophylls within photosystem II. During excitation, an electron is excited to a higher energy level. This electron is subsequently captured by the primary electron acceptor, a pheophytin molecule located within photosystem II near P680. The oxidized P680 (P680+) is subsequently reduced by an electron originating from water (via Oxygen evolving complex).

Oxidized P680 (P680+) is the strongest biological oxidizing agent known. It has an estimated redox potential of ~1.3 V[2]. This makes it possible to oxidize water during oxygenic photosynthesis.

Um...still confused..

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Googled:



Um...still confused..

1. Her posts of Radiance = energy from the sun (light)
2. Pigments absorb the wavelengths of light (680 nanometers and 700 nanometers)
3. This absorption causes electrons to get "excited"

So the P680 going up to a P700 is a euphemistic Biology pickup line of a male getting an erection.
Now the joke probably isn't funny to you because you'll realize it's just a lame pick up line

And that I'm just as lame as ever

Edit: fml

My other science friends who were girls got it I was just trying to alleviate the tension

Oh ok - so what you're saying is - she excites our erectrons!

Lol your science friends might get it - but I wouldn't bust it out on open mic night.

Link, your comparison lost me at "... These 2 special pairs form an excitonic dimer," lol

Dianeva has the loveliest of cats *hands you a pair of glasses*

I slept for a few hours earlier, went to my p-doc app. I was overly expressive with my hand gestures for some reason. I only noticed because he noticed, though he was kind enough not to say anything lol
He mentioned, too, how I'm never ever to recover from one thing before another strikes. And how not having a support system sucks. It does. My hubby and mom still haven't been told what's going on because I'm not ready for a long dialogue.
I managed to not cry at my app so my eyes are extremely happy (crying dries them out to an extreme which makes me miserable until I go to sleep). I'm going to see him once a week for awhile.

I had to talk to one of Zee's school friends. She stayed with us a few times before Zee was shipped off and she's a sweet girl. She was crying and trying to figure out why Zee and Bobbi ran. She did offer up another possible lead however. There's someone named Adam who lives in the town with the shelter. He used to live in our town, so she might reach out to him. Unfortunately, that's all Allison knew.
I FB texted another friend and asked about Adam. Hopefully word will get around and someone will know something more about him. And hopefully that will lead to the girls getting picked up.

I talk to my other daughter tonight. I hope the news has already been broken to her.

**EDIT**
lol Link. I *thought* it would be something along those lines

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Oh ok - so what you're saying is - she excites our erectrons!

Lol your science friends might get it - but I wouldn't bust it out on open mic night.

What's a microphone?

Edit: Lmao Mic night...I wish

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

**EDIT**
lol Link. I *thought* it would be something along those lines

I think you guys would get it at first glance if you read this meme I made:

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/35dtsm/


Edit: Another rant: Oh my god, I just realized, I can convince my subconscious to make Zelda my dream guide instead of EVA! (But then I wouldn't get laid because Zelda might friend zone me (like for the 16th time) Since she's blonde, she'll match my reoccurring dream signs! *Face palm* I can't believe I just realized that, I don't deserve this name anymore...

Today wasn't too bad. A bit of havoc on the networks at work for the first part of the day, but things settled down after lunch. I have a half-ass headache which has been lingering all day. Perhaps some delicious elixir will fix that.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

rofl, AnderJ (I thought you changed your name?) I do the same freagin thing ALL THE TIME. I've actually acquired "alligator skin" on my right foot from sitting on it so much.

My foot still hurts a bit today, but it's much better. I did change my name, but I hated it, so I changed back. ...long story...

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

@ anderj101 - I'm glad you changed it again - XjimX somehow just wasn't that good, though it's good to know your actual name too

I should have done my homework. XjimX brings up some other dude all over the place on Google. I felt like I was kinda committing identity theft, let alone that the X's in the name automatically imply wannabEMO or some shit...

Originally Posted by Erii

...though in general, feeling slightly neutral though, not super depressed, just sorta meh. Lethargic, melancholic, apathetic, whatever you would call it..I just want to meet new people in my life, so so so so so much. But don't have the motivation to do actively do that. I'm not very social, i just want someone to pop up out of nowhere and be my buddy.

Ha yeah, I know the feeling. It feels like I would need to constantly exert myself to do the exact opposite of what I'm used to lol

I've been kind of depressed by the uncertainty of the things I learn in school or anywhere else. It feels like anything I could read or hear is meaningless sometimes. There's too much unexplained for us to have the right to feel that our most useful mathematically described conceptions of reality are reality. The problem is that I don't care how useful they are, I want to know how the universe really is. Human's current knowledge of existence seems so shallow and primitive. I've recently learned to accept this because although our current construction of reality may not be the real one, or the most accurate, it's the only order to be learned without actually discovering it from nature, and order is beautiful in itself and necessary for an optimally balanced, full life as an individual. Maybe it's just because I'm learning very idealized Newtonian mechanics, which doesn't teach me very much about what's really going on.

Ugh... Destinee was told nothing, so I asked if I should mention it to her or wait for her case worker to discus it with her first. They said to wait.
So I called back and left a message with the case worker to let her know what was going on.
A few minutes later, she learned the news from someone else and called me lol She agreed to tell Destinee tomorrow with the Shrink. Then I'll talk to her right after they do. *sigh*

I JUST got off the phone with her and tried skirting all conversation about her sister. She'll be mad tomorrow.
And I talked to my mom about an hour ago and she did really well. She didn't nag or criticize at all.
I'm about to tell my hubby and there's no chance I'll have the same luck with him.

I went to Burger King after my p-doc app. As I do EVERY SINGLE DAY, I bought a Single Stacker and a Side Salad with Honey Mustard Dressing and Croutons. It's all I eat every day. It's been all I've eaten every day for at least a week.
Yet, when I got home, I saw they gave me Ranch instead. I dislike Ranch lol.
It's nice to have something minor to gripe about

**EDIT**
I am pleased- VERY pleased- to say I had my hubby wrong. He talked to me about everything for close to 40 minutes.

Originally Posted by ThePreserver

I hope you find a good home for her. I'd take her in but I'm all the way here in Ohio... Any family members or friends you could trust that you haven't thought of yet, or a no-kill shelter that can take her? That's too bad that you can't take her with you.

You're the only yes, so I wish you had a reason to come to Utah, or we could ship her for less than an arm and a leg...

Like, woah. Being Friend Zoned is a good thing to me now! No wonder these women are staring at me like crazy. o.O

Just have to conjure a lucid sex dream every other day, and I'm going to be fine.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

lol, nice contradiction-finding skills. But when I said it's sometimes a small consideration, I was responding to (what I thought was) your claim that guys always have sex in the backs of their minds while talking to girls. Then when I said I wouldn't blacklist someone I was talking about myself being attracted to or wanting to be be with someone. I might consider someone a friend, without sex in the back of my mind at all, but if I were to get to know them better and get along will with them I might develop an attraction.

Honestly sex itself doesn't cross my mind at all. When I 'like' someone it's probably more like some immature crush-like attraction, it just feels good to be around them and think about them. The desire for sexual gratification is a completely different type of desire for me, although I can't imagine wanting to have sex with someone who I wasn't attracted to in the other way. Perhaps this would be different if I'd experienced sex before, lol.

I'm glad to find someone else who thinks this way! Seriously. I'm a guy that's kinda disgusted by other guys who talk about sex a lot. Honestly, though, I'm asexual so I might be biased. Eh. I'm just glad I'm not the only one who thinks so, it's kind of a lonely place. And having never dated before at 21, and not too interested... most of the time :< Point is, I'm glad there's a chance of finding someone else like that. I want a relationship... but don't really care about sex! Does that make me crazy? It's the close companionship I'm after... and cuddles >.>;

As for my rant... Over Thanksgiving break I found out my grandpa has stage 4 lung cancer now. It's already spread to his ribs, so it's inoperable. I really do feel bad about it, but he's also been smoking for over 50 years... so I'd be lying if I said it was a surprise. What really gets me is that his response to this news is to smoke even more... and none of my family is even asking him to stop! I haven't said anything because nobody else seems to care... but it's really depressing.

That's good. For the record though, I do experience sexual desire, and it will usually be for people I like. It just isn't the same type of desire and I don't necessarily have to be feeling both at the same time.

But I see what you're saying about non-sexual relationships. My first (and only) relationship was mostly like that. He was Catholic so we couldn't actually have sex, and this became a problem, more for me than for him because I didn't see any actual reason we couldn't do anything and it was frustrating, I kind of felt like our gender roles were reversed, heh. But mostly our relationship was completely non-sexual and the thought of even bringing up sex almost seemed like it would ruin the innocence. I suppose it was a strange relationship.

Good luck, Zhaylin, hope they/you find your daughter soon.

Originally Posted by khh

I've got my first exam tomorrow and I haven't studied anything. Not one thing. This is gonna be fun.

And then I didn't get any sleep either. So no studying and no sleep: Exam here I come.

I've only gotten a couple hours of sleep myself since this all began. I hope you do well on your exam.

Singularity. So sorry to hear the news. I guess everyone figures the damage has been done so why change at the final hours?

My daughter and her friend came home here. They were at the Farm at first. I'm turning them in at 4AM (25 minutes from now). They're safe and ready to face the music.
I have a feeling this is going to be another long day.

Well that's good to hear, hopefully things turn out ok for the two of them. Did they mention why they ran btw?

Ugh... THAT was hard. A cop just came and picked them up and I asked him to have my daughter placed on suicide watch.
I think Bobbi just went along for the ride. My daughter hated it there and it seems everyone in authority is really overdoing the scare tactics. Plus they *seem* to be playing favorites. Bobbi and Zee got into the exact same trouble. They have similar histories (no trouble with the law other than truancies), but they were going to send Bobbi home next month. My daughter was looking at at least a year. My daughter's really pissed off about all that.
They've told her stuff like "If you screw up one more time, you'll be sent to detention. And then you might share a cell with someone who axed their parents to death. Maybe they'll kill you too. And when your body's found, nothing will be done."
Scare the kids straight, by all means, but enough's enough. She never "screwed up" in the first place. She was punished over weeks old scars.

My daughter was fine with everything until the last 20 minutes or so. Then she became panicked and wanted to run. I was told by dispatch that an Officer would get ahold of me. After waiting 30 minutes for a call, I gave up and took the girls with me to Sheetz.
And, of course, the cop showed up at the house before I checked out. My son called and told me I might want to sit tight. My daughter refused to get arrested at Sheetz and insisted on going home. I didn't see any sign of him (I live just 10 minutes away), so I headed home. As I was about to park, I saw his van pull up behind me with his headlights off.

On the drive to and from Sheetz she said she'd rather be dead than go back. I tried reasoning with her, telling her that one day her life will be calm, she'll have a family and be happy and all of this would be just a bad memory- that 50 years of happiness makes up for her 1 year of suffering. I told her she needed to pay attention to herself, get better, get back on track and everything would be okay. She kept saying her only future is that of a drug dealer. I told her she sells herself way too short. And she does.

Ugh...

I also told her they wouldn't be getting arrested. People are worried about them and want to make sure they're safe etc etc. And sure enough, the cop escorted them to his van and just told them to buckle up. I gave both girls a hug; told them to behave.
Ever since my kids were toddlers, we've made the "I love you" sign (similar to the "hang 10") when leaving each other. She had her hand like that all the way down the driveway

What a horrible, horrible ordeal. But at least they're safe and not on the street.

My daughter was upset that I don't raise hell and make demands on her behalf. Outwardly, I appear much too calm to most people. That's sometimes mistaken for callousness. I speak of my feeling in a reasonable manner and tone, but I rarely show my feelings. Because of that, my kids sometimes think I don't care about or love them.

I am SOOOOOOO freagin ready for bed. But I can't sleep. I have to make too many phone calls this morning. If I go to sleep now, I'll never wake in time. I've been taking a caffeine pill about once every other hour yet I still manage to micro nap at my desk. THat will have to suffice for now.

Sorry about the novella, but thanks for listening everyone.

Hugs, Zhaylin.

Thanks Sinoblak.
I'm happy to say, I was right about their use of scare tactics. They're sending her to a different shelter and a bed at the Youth Facility is still available to her in a couple of weeks. If she runs again, though, it will be detention.

I've managed to get some sleep, but I'm so out of it that it's taken me a long while to recognize the ringing of the cellphones and computer. I missed a couple of them (thankfully they called right back lol)

My rants are: I have parenting class today and I can't find my notebook. It has the lady's cellphone number in it. I'm canceling today. Much too exhausted and NOT in the mood.
2) My gum at the very back of my mouth to the left is inflamed. My left ear hurts a little bit too and my throat is tender. I hope it's a stress or allergy reaction and nothing more. I REALLY don't want to get sick right now lol.

Time to go back to bed.........