Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

No serious complaints here.
Last night I had been playing Skyrim for about 3 straight hours. I got up to get something and my left calf knotted up almost as fiercely as a charlie horse. I got off of it immediately, massaged it, stretched it, then started walking on it. I thought it was late soreness from my work under the trailer because sometimes it takes almost 2 days for the soreness to really set in for some reason.
I went to sleep some time later and woke several hours later and it was still tense. It's STILL tense and sore.
My hubby nagged me, saying I could cause an embolism. But I frequently move my legs even when sitting. I'll sit on my right foot, pull my left up; I'll stretch out and put them on the tv's cabinet; I bounce them etc.
Now I need to look up embolisms lol

I am incredibly depressed right now. Well nah, it comes and goes. But yeah since earlier today there's been this horrible sense of dread sitting in me. My ex texted me cause she slept in and her new BF's family left for thanksgiving without her so she was left alone. And so I did my best to cheer her up, we made some small talk and caught up a little. And now I want to die.

My laptop charging port broke. That's why I haven't been on all week. After buying a new battery and charger for it, finally something broke that I can't buy a replacement for. That means I'll have to take it somewhere to get it fixed or I'll just have to buy a new laptop in general. I'm thinking the latter, but I dunno. And I have no clue when that'd happen. My father has a laptop, which I think I'll be able go use for the most part until I get mine fixed/a new one. It's been sorta nice not having computer access actually, less stress hahaha.

Other than that, i have been awake for over 30 minutes and it's 7:30am, I can't get back to sleep. (I'm on my iPod for Internet)

On the bright side I am going to my aunt and uncles today, they're pretty chill. He's a musician, they're both really down to earth. We will probably just jam out, play skyrim, watch creepy shows, etc. Which is a fun lazy day. I'll probably stay the night there.

My main concern though is the computer <\3 I miss you guys lol

FINALLY HAD A FREAKING LUCID DREAM. FREAKING YESSSSSS (I had a few lucids before, but they were split into months)

But people were staring at me with earnest faces and I had to pull off the stunt Leonardo did to convince the mind he was in was just a projection. But it was my dream god damn it! They didn't have to look at me that way!

I can't believe I didn't think of finding my dream guide or at least having sex with Megan Fox (still a virgin in my dreams, except for that one scene I did with a blonde, but ehhhhh).

I was chased down by Newman from Seinfield



But hey, can't complain too much. It was the second MILD+WBTB lucid I had. Maybe it was a WBTB+WILD, but you know what, whatever. I had a lucid dream.

Shooting Enemies, Lucid Dream with some Inception elements to it, Looking through Black Folders - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

I wanted to finish drawing my parents, but my father wanted me to wash the car. I come home to take a break from college for Thanksgiving and I'm washing a car -.- I mean that's not bad work lol, but it delayed me finishing my drawing, and I decided to just think to myself "Fk it, I'll finish the drawing on my own time in college." Which means it'll take a LONG time while I draw OTHER people (hopefully, if this girl sends a photo of her to me to use as a reference).

I swear I wasted my time coming home, seeing my parents go on with their petty st. I know love is having someone to talk about their problems, but damn, this is getting out of hand. I hope I don't end up like them, I seriously don't want to end up like them. They aren't bad parents, no parents are perfect, but some of the little stunts they did to each other when they were younger really pisses me off and I feel like I'm just the child who was lucky to be born. (Think my mother told me all her prior births died).

It's like no matter how hard I convince myself I'm just st, luck is still by my side (not always, but more like in situations where it goes "WHY HALO DAR!!!")

And I'm starting to get concerned that if I have lucid sex dreams, I probably won't look at woman the same way anymore. I mean if my mind can manifest orgasms that are out of this world (no pun intended), what's the use in playing mini-games with a girl to get what all men (whether it's conscious or unconscious) want to do...to UNCE UNCE UNCE in woman's pants.

Marriage is inevitable, but I'm only 18. But still, I'm concerned. Still a virgin, so the lucid sex might not be so extraordinary, BUT it might be creative if I do other forms....blah blah blah blah.

Aaaahhhh Erii - we miss you so much!!! We want you back!!

Link, your mind is like McDonald's.. it's all over the place!! Seriously dude - I don't think you maintain clear focus for more than maybe 2 sentences, then you leapfrog into a completely different subject without warning. Hard to follow!

Lmaooo xD I'm sorry xD *goes into a corner by himself*

Edit: still laughing irl xD

Lol it's ok man, I didn't mean it as an insult or anything, just sayin - reading your posts is like looking into a kaleidoscope! When I'm done I feel like I need therapy!!

I'm so going to use that McDonald simile on someone in real life.

Plans for today fell through, played Skyrim at home lol xD

Finally found an anime where a girl who is a virgin is trying to be a virgin killer, but fails in doing so because she can't even talk straight to a regular guy...and she's hot..like HOT.

The anime is only 12 episodes, but this is going to be fun to watch how she's exactly like me, but only a female.

Fell in love on the first episode of this show, and I'm repressing how much she really is compared to me.. >.<

And she's paranoid too thinking that the person is doing perverted things when he's just a nerd. xD

I turned 17 about a month ago, and ever since I have, I feel really different. When I was 16, I could look at a girl in school and think of her as hot. But now, if I see a girl in grade 9 or something, all I can think of is how young she looks. I also feel empty, sort of, like my life is slipping away from me and I can't regain the time I've lost. It may partially be due to the fact that this is my last year not being a legal adult, or maybe some hormonal changes as I am getting older, I don't know. I know that some people consider age to be just a number or whatever, and it's only been a month, but it feels so much more significant for some reason. Like, for some reason I just want to stay this age forever because I feel as though the rest of my life is going to be shit. I don't want to just go through my life and then die, without having done anything, but I feel as though how it's going to be, no matter what I do. I also look back at all the times that I've ever been a douchebag to people, and even looking back at some of my past journal entries on this site, I can't help but feel as though I'm so out of place, based on how rapidly my viewpoints and beliefs have changed. Call it an existential crisis, or teen angst (although I wouldn't really call it that, I don't feel sad, I mainly just feel insignificant) I guess, it's just soul sucking.

This girl in my psych. class kept eyeing me up today. :]

But I'm too much of a pansy to talk to her. :[

Originally Posted by GavinGill

This girl in my psych. class kept eyeing me up today. :]

But I'm too much of a pansy to talk to her. :[

Lol, so much for getting up early and nit being tired.

Anyway, talk to her, what do you have to lose anyway? Ooo wow, you gained a bit of humility if you fuck up. That's not a bad thing. Gonna have to start with someone.

MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!! It took so fucking long on my iPad just now to double tap and bring up the new reply page...

Anyway, I feel like a complete and utter loser because I'm a 21 year old virgin, and I honestly don't see myself losing it until I'm at least 22... what pisses me off the most is that Billy Joel song that gets in my head "Only The Good Die Young", where he sings "You Catholic girls start much too late" ... I mean that really stings. I'm an atheist, but when the hell is "much too late"? Am I supposed to feel bad? How in the hell have most kids been having sex in their teen years anyway, when it seems illegal until you're 18? You can't even legally look at porn until then (not that that stopped me). Hell, I was kind of scared of sex until I was 15, and gathered the courage to look at male junk on the Internet. I thought it would scar or traumatize me. Ever since then, I've been ready, though, but I've always been too shy and could only sometimes make friends, let alone boyfriends. I've still never had a boyfriend or even kissed a boy, I've only recently had first dates from online dating sites and have hugged them at the end (it seems when they request a hug, it usually means "Bye forever, I'm not interested in you and will never contact you again").

The reassurance that most people give comes from a religious/conservative mentality that it's good to keep your virginity pristine, but I'm liberal, so that doesn't help. I guess it just comes back to being a painfully shy and quiet social misfit, but to my credit, I've never lived in a good place with kids I had enough in common or would like to hang out with. No quality guys worth having a relationship with. Should I also feel like a worthless loser for having been so shy and afraid of being rejected/looked weird at/made fun of by other kids for so long? I can't be more crazy or stupid than most people for what I've strongly felt and experienced. I can't really be blamed and judged that much, can I? It just doesn't seem fair. My family moved practically every single summer, so I was also a new kid pretty often. I was also heavily bullied in the 6th grade, and that only made my shyness worse.

At least I'm moving to Cali next week, so I'll definitely be able to find guys who are infinitely more interesting and compatible with me.

Damm lucid dry spells

On the good side, I got to watch a cool dream explosion last night

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!! It took so fucking long on my iPad just now to double tap and bring up the new reply page...

Anyway, I feel like a complete and utter loser because I'm a 21 year old virgin, and I honestly don't see myself losing it until I'm at least 22... what pisses me off the most is that Billy Joel song that gets in my head "Only The Good Die Young", where he sings "You Catholic girls start much too late" ... I mean that really stings. I'm an atheist, but when the hell is "much too late"? Am I supposed to feel bad? How in the hell have most kids been having sex in their teen years anyway, when it seems illegal until you're 18? You can't even legally look at porn until then (not that that stopped me). Hell, I was kind of scared of sex until I was 15, and gathered the courage to look at male junk on the Internet. I thought it would scar or traumatize me. Ever since then, I've been ready, though, but I've always been too shy and could only sometimes make friends, let alone boyfriends. I've still never had a boyfriend or even kissed a boy, I've only recently had first dates from online dating sites and have hugged them at the end (it seems when they request a hug, it usually means "Bye forever, I'm not interested in you and will never contact you again").

The reassurance that most people give comes from a religious/conservative mentality that it's good to keep your virginity pristine, but I'm liberal, so that doesn't help. I guess it just comes back to being a painfully shy and quiet social misfit, but to my credit, I've never lived in a good place with kids I had enough in common or would like to hang out with. No quality guys worth having a relationship with. Should I also feel like a worthless loser for having been so shy and afraid of being rejected/looked weird at/made fun of by other kids for so long? I can't be more crazy or stupid than most people for what I've strongly felt and experienced. I can't really be blamed and judged that much, can I? It just doesn't seem fair. My family moved practically every single summer, so I was also a new kid pretty often. I was also heavily bullied in the 6th grade, and that only made my shyness worse.

At least I'm moving to Cali next week, so I'll definitely be able to find guys who are infinitely more interesting and compatible with me.

Just realized liking this post probably makes my friend request seem creepy. But yeah cheer up you'll meet someone! Cali is the best state ever officially ratified.

@ Deery: Most people your age are virgins, it doesn't make you weird. Hell, I'm a virgin too (I scratch your back, you scratch mine? =D) and we're practically the same age. Just... go buy a dildo until you meet someone you like (or make it out to Surrey, BC ).

Phew! Creepiness trumped by Canadian. Thank you Gavin.

Thing about the V card is everyone thinks its a huge deal, then its gone and yet everything is exactly the same.

Deery, sex cannot be planned, but it will happen in due time. And no, 21 is not too late! You haven't find the proper guy yet.
Having sex with incompatible guys is quite self-humiliating, I think. You are an unique person, no one can tell when the right time has come, only you will know it.

I know how you feel Deery... Except I'm a guy, of course.

Originally Posted by Omnis Dei

Phew! Creepiness trumped by Canadian. Thank you Gavin.

Creeping people out - it's what I'm here for.

*is typing this out from his cell at the precinct*

Can you start on Sass, Gavin?
It might help downplay my creepiness toward her.

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!! It took so fucking long on my iPad just now to double tap and bring up the new reply page...

Anyway, I feel like a complete and utter loser because I'm a 21 year old virgin, and I honestly don't see myself losing it until I'm at least 22... what pisses me off the most is that Billy Joel song that gets in my head "Only The Good Die Young", where he sings "You Catholic girls start much too late" ... I mean that really stings. I'm an atheist, but when the hell is "much too late"? Am I supposed to feel bad? How in the hell have most kids been having sex in their teen years anyway, when it seems illegal until you're 18? You can't even legally look at porn until then (not that that stopped me). Hell, I was kind of scared of sex until I was 15, and gathered the courage to look at male junk on the Internet. I thought it would scar or traumatize me. Ever since then, I've been ready, though, but I've always been too shy and could only sometimes make friends, let alone boyfriends. I've still never had a boyfriend or even kissed a boy, I've only recently had first dates from online dating sites and have hugged them at the end (it seems when they request a hug, it usually means "Bye forever, I'm not interested in you and will never contact you again").

The reassurance that most people give comes from a religious/conservative mentality that it's good to keep your virginity pristine, but I'm liberal, so that doesn't help. I guess it just comes back to being a painfully shy and quiet social misfit, but to my credit, I've never lived in a good place with kids I had enough in common or would like to hang out with. No quality guys worth having a relationship with. Should I also feel like a worthless loser for having been so shy and afraid of being rejected/looked weird at/made fun of by other kids for so long? I can't be more crazy or stupid than most people for what I've strongly felt and experienced. I can't really be blamed and judged that much, can I? It just doesn't seem fair. My family moved practically every single summer, so I was also a new kid pretty often. I was also heavily bullied in the 6th grade, and that only made my shyness worse.

At least I'm moving to Cali next week, so I'll definitely be able to find guys who are infinitely more interesting and compatible with me.

Like Omnis Dei said, I'm sure you'll find someone!

I'm 18, and still a virgin. I'm still caught up with the whole "preserving my virginity" mentality when I should realize that it's not a big deal anymore. The politically-correct idealism of being mature because I saved my virginity for another virgin is starting to piss me off.

I mean it completely eradicates the possibility that the marriage might turn to s**t because of so many factors.

But hey, I guess the people who lived their whole life being saturated with that mentality cannot let go of it so easily.

My parents weren't too strict on me with the virginity crap, I just use my virginity as some medium for me to be as innocent and naive as possible because I've been so conformed to being single for all 18 years of my life.

Good luck finding the right person! I wish I had the time to date more, but eh. Guess all the girls I encountered that wanted to get to know me better and failed happened for a reason. And most of the time, I'm glad I never paired up with them, no matter how cute and luscious their lips were..oh gawd NO!!!

About the online dating thing, I never really did it, but when I used to talk to girls on MMORPG's, we would talk about random things and even get a bit sexual. But then they moved on in life while I ended up still playing those games ALONE. Some of them came back when I came back as well, but it wasn't for long. They would always make fun of me being a virgin, and one even said that she'll come over and rape me just to make me shut up about being a virgin.

I was always so upset about not losing my virginity in high school. I thought I was a loser. Then in college I saw all my friends getting laid and I just couldn't connect and I thought something was wrong with me. I thought if I could just lose it, somehow have it forced out of me, I'd suddenly become some sort of charmer or something. But really... it just makes you need sex even more.