Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Rave: I have ten consecutive days off from work starting tomorrow. First time off in 6 years!

Rant: I have absolutely nowhere to go and nothing to do and expect to be bored out of my mind.

Originally Posted by DoubleHelix

Rave: I have ten consecutive days off from work starting tomorrow. First time off in 6 years!

Rant: I have absolutely nowhere to go and nothing to do and expect to be bored out of my mind.

Go on a citytrip! Flying is really cheap in the US, right?

Not when you book last minute. Even if I was to suddenly decide to leave town I'd be traveling alone - which means no one to split expenses with for car rental or hotel. And I hate to eat alone.

Huh, I've got the next 9 days off myself. No plans either, because I didn't know for sure whether I'd have these days off (the plant shuts down for maintenance; if I had transferred to my new maintenance job I'd be working).

I'm building a rack for my stereo gear. Hopefully I'll finish that. And finish building/organizing my workbench. I'll get a new tube for my bike and hit the trails a few days. I want to go check out some different bars/restaurants. I'm not much of a movie goer to be honest, but I want to pick something to go watch in a theater sometime this week. July 4th I'll be at a party playing drums. I found a local hifi store online, and I want to call them and have them help me pick out some new speakers.

That's as much as I've planned. But I'll be doing it all alone. I'd like to do these things with a spouse or friend, but alas, I don't have those. And going by myself makes me really uncomfortable. But that's why I want to do these things, and maybe more. Maybe I'll go see a movie and hate it. Or maybe I'll walk in a new bar and they have nothing good on tap. But then at least I'll know, and I'm still tired of staying in my boring comfort zone. Hell, maybe I'll try to find a reason to drive out to the city. I absolutely hate driving out to the city, so I never do it. But every time I band I want to see comes through my area, they play in the city.

I just ended today's workout and wanted to check out my old bookmarks, that sweet time metal was my prefered genre. Anyway, I'm listening to those old tracks that I liked the most and they're giving me chills.

Anyway! I'm having the craziest nightmares! I never had them and lately is almost non-stop. Last night first I was drowning at the sea, with no land and no one in sight. Then I fell asleep again and I was having surgery, my throat cut open while I was awake, so horrible
Thing is, I would like to know why I'm having hiperrealistic dreams, it's been almost a month or so I have the most real dreams, is awesome.

Enjoy the mini-vacations everyone!

I've been banging my head into the wall since yesterday. I rented a server for 7 Days to Die without knowing anything about FTP, Notepad ++, or xml. I finally figured it out. Edited what needed to be edited. Didn't use symbols, didn't change any ports, etc. My server STILL isn't showing up. I have no idea what I'm missing

Other than that, life has been same as always: still taxiing, still waking with knee pain and walking with a limp, still haven't done my laundry, still haven't cleaned my room other than the very basics. I bought some more clothes last night so I could put of laundry for another week
Paula finally got a tentative schedule and she's all over the place this week- 3PM to 3AM and a couple 8 hours thrown in to mix things up.
She seriously needs to hurry up and get a car.

JoJo died. I saw her one night under the porch. I could tell her eyes were matted over but she seemed alert and I had to get to the store and she was too far to reach. I've not seen her again.
Yesterday, however, I found part of a snake skin. It was fairly sizable so perhaps he got to her.
The cats have all been living outside again. Now, if only the kids would join them the house might stay cleaner

I am seriously starting to rage over this server problem.
I edited all the xml. Do I need to move a folder to my Steam?
I sent in a Ticket, but with it being a holiday weekend, there's no telling how long I'll be waiting on a reply. If I don't hear anything by tomorrow, I'm going to use the "5 day money back guar·an·tee (why can I never spell that word lol- thank you,Google).

Other than that, all is quiet. Might eat some cereal and chill with a show for a while.

Rave: I was sort of bummed that I didn't have a count on my lucid dreams becuase i removed it from my profile in 2012 and lost my digital dream journal. I used the site waybackmachine.org to find an archive of my profile from just before i removed the count that says I had 149 lucid dreams as of December 2011. Adding the dream journal entries I still have brings me to 180! I'm know there are a some that I missed but I only count lucids that I can remember anyways.

Been having bad day after bad day lately. I don't like my job anymore but I'm still working after 3 years. One thing is for sure I'm going to start taking meditation seriously.

So not sure if it's reasonable or not (input would be nice) but I'm feeling very irritated over an j retraction I just had. I pop out of my room to have a glass of iced tea, my dads wife's cousin I think she is is staying here for a while with her kids and her boyfriend comes over during the nights... So things get pretty crowded, anyway the two of them were in there washing dishes already, so I just put my cup down since they were already doing it. He tells me I should wash it; I don't really have a problem with that its something I normally do I just felt I was doing the right thing in not getting in their way while they were doing dishes as I'd hate if someone did that to me.. However the next part is where I had to stop myself from lashing out as he criticized the way I was washing the fucking cup, keep in mind this is the guy that I wake up at 6 in the morning to give him a ride to work.. So was he in the right and I should've just washed the cup to begin with.. Or is my irritation justified?

Uhm. This thing is almost irritating me. I'm alright, I've no out of the ordinary problems in my life apart from anxiety when I've to go to places I've never been at or with people I do not know... Anyway, thing is sometimes, somedays, I'm doing something like studying or just watching a video or playing some game and this wave of feels crashes into me and makes my mind wander into unpleasant thoughts and sad feelings. I'm trying to meditate on it and listen to my thoughts without judging, just observing them and I tell my mind NOT to fuck with me but sometimes the wave is just to big and I let it go deeper. It's so frustrating because it comes out of nowhere! I've been thinking about it and it could be past brain stuff from when I was having mood swings and very bad anxiety, idk.

Originally Posted by mooseantlers

So not sure if it's reasonable or not (input would be nice) but I'm feeling very irritated over an j retraction I just had. I pop out of my room to have a glass of iced tea, my dads wife's cousin I think she is is staying here for a while with her kids and her boyfriend comes over during the nights... So things get pretty crowded, anyway the two of them were in there washing dishes already, so I just put my cup down since they were already doing it. He tells me I should wash it; I don't really have a problem with that its something I normally do I just felt I was doing the right thing in not getting in their way while they were doing dishes as I'd hate if someone did that to me.. However the next part is where I had to stop myself from lashing out as he criticized the way I was washing the fucking cup, keep in mind this is the guy that I wake up at 6 in the morning to give him a ride to work.. So was he in the right and I should've just washed the cup to begin with.. Or is my irritation justified?

He could just be a dick Mooseantlers or maybe just in a bad mood. But I'm leaning towards he's a dick, lol.

Earlier this day at times when I drove this Chevy Suburban Diesel I was freaking out wondering where the next repair bill is going to come from. I don't think that helps the situation though so I'm making sure to not freak over it.

In other news I bought another sketch pad today so that's nice. I also found a guitar with a broken headstock in a trash pile a few days ago so I started gluing it back together. I've done this before, on another guitar.

So my Iphone 5 is busted.

I noticed that my phone wasn't receiving any service at all. Decided to turn off and on again several times and it accomplished nothing. Went to go reset network settings which also accomplished nothing. Then tried to install new iOS update to see if that work fix it, but got an error when trying to install it. Tried going on iTunes through the computer to try and update it, ran into an error half way through trying to install. Had to go into recovery mode to try to restore the phone, but got an error halfway through just trying to restore it. So I tried doing this several more times but still doesn't work and I go online to get some insight and it seems to be a hardware issue. So now I just sitting here with a pointless brick saying that it needs to be plugged into iTunes. This is one of the reasons I don't like Apple products. Today was not a good day.

Moose, I would have been highly irritated too. Like, 'who exactly are you to be criticizing me'.
BUT, I would have checked myself at that point to think about our previous interactions and how he is during the car rides. Maybe he was trying to take a brotherly/fatherly/mentoring sort of role with you.

Feel better, Astaroth. How's your diet/sleep/exercise levels? Are you getting sick? All of those things can cause a lot of havoc. One of the crappiest things about anxiety is that we don't have to feel mentally anxious for our body to react to stressors.

Makes me think of my daughter-in-law. SHe has a REALLY bad habit of picking the skin off of her fingertips. It's an anxiety thing. On the car ride home, this morning, she started picking and I tsssed her like I do the cats Later, she said she's not anxious about anything and I reminded her of her fingers. Even if she's not dwelling on stressful (scary, sad, angering) thoughts. She's thinking about working a miracle and getting a car by the 20th. Hubby and I are going on a trip then.

Which leads me to my rant: hibernation mode. I get stressed, I go to sleep Seriously body? Fight or flight is how it's supposed to be- NOT pass out and feel dead.

I have a new mantra I've been saying all the friggin time: Change your attitude to change your emotions.
Paul can be very judgy. That person looks like a douche; that person drives a jacked up truck that his daddy paid for so he can avoid growing up; that person looked at her funny so it must be because Paula's gay, short, mixed race. She assumes people judge her all the flipping time (probably because she judges others!). But her judgements cause her distress so I started saying that to her. Always assume the best not because it's a nice thing to do but because it helps you feel better, more empathetic, more patient etc.

Now, though, I'm starting to say it to myself. I'm coming to loathe driving which I never thought could happen in a million years. I HATE being taxi to everyone. I HATE having to shop for everyone. I HATE having to go on trips with hubby.
Why? I hate my "routine" interrupted. I hate getting out of my comfort zone. I hate being bombarded to everyone's emotions/smells/sounds/erratic driving habits/judgy natures/...........
I've been trying to change my attitude: I'm helping them get their own car/errands is what I'm good at/I can help carry the load for others/I get fresh air/I get to spend quality time with hubby/.....
But gah!- it's so hard when all I want to do is hide away in my room and play 7D2D and not have to deal with others crap

Rave: hibernation mode actually stayed away for much longer than normal.
Rave: I got my server working and I've been making a friggin awesome base.

Rant: I got a weird random FB message from one of my sisters: "Don't u worry bout me or my husband". I had posted on her moms wall: "Was Diana's husband at Honda today?" to which she replied "He works there...."
That was the extent of it. My immediate reaction to my sisters message was: "Oh really? You're the one who slept with my husband and helped destroy my marriage [1998]. Are you afriad I'm going to do the same to you?"
BUT, I checked my attitude. I've not seen her since around 2001. I didn't visit her or my dad or my brothers. I never even called. But the phone works both ways. It took them at least a year to tell me one of my brothers died and about 6 months to tell me my dad died. She and I aren't even FB friends. I didn't meet them until I was around 21 years old and we were close only for a couple of years. Her message still stung though. It was likely not a jealousy reaction but 'where have you been all these years to suddenly care' sort of messages. Which stings even more.

Oh well. Enough deep thought for the day. Time to game.
all around.

Rave: I put diamond plate on the back doors of the Diesel Suburban. Now it doesn't look like a metal muncher was on the rear end of it from a distance. And yes, I did coat the exposed metal parts with RustSeal then painted over that THEN sprayed Fluid Film on top of that. It's much better than it was. Also, for some reason the Suburban's sounding a lot better than it was not long ago; I'm thinking this is from the fuel quality. I've been buying from a source that puts 2% Biodiesel in the fuel and on top of it I've been putting Diesel Kleen in the fuel to increase the Cetane rating (which is the opposite of gasoline octane rating. Higher cetane = combusts quicker.)

Also I'm gluing the guitar headstock back to the guitar. I'm sure it'll turn out fine.

Starting tomorrow, a week to myself. All to myself. I usually am not the person to reveal this to anyone, because anyone with the ill intentions and the opportunity can go for you, but it’s not like any of you, or anyone on the Internet is going to care to do harm…I think. I might give my upcoming shift to someone, but I'm not sure if anyone is going to come with open arms to do it unless they're just desperate for hours.

Anyway:

There are those days that just go by way too smoothly, and you just have to go through the motions, but you get this nagging feeling from within that something is a bit off. Not enough to do a reality check, IMO, as that would just make me flip tables if they were just dreams, but when you figure out why things seem off, and then try to sleep a bit in the afternoon to let your brain work the stress out only to get two nightmares of someone you know in waking life that wants to murder you.

Now, it’s just a dream, and the metaphorical context may just be an over-exaggeration for something else, but, it’s a bit too powerful to undermine it as over-exaggerated metaphorical context of a strife, but rather something I should really watch out for. That’s what I dislike about certain dreams that seem to give the impression of predicting probable events; 1-2 months from now, I’ll shrug it off, and when that day comes, that random tapping into previous dreaming experiences that pertained to the event just makes me feel a bit hopeless. Seems more like a pretense of déjà vu, and all of that hype for nothing.

What’s the point in having those dreams that seem to give you an omen to prepare yourself, and live to dream another day when you’re left with nothing but agnosticism as to when those events may really occur? It’s demanding me to take hold of each day, rather than just appreciating the motions every now and then. What good are those implicit scenarios to hint at something when you can’t use the context when you need them?

This isn’t a complaint, it’s just confusion-- out of all the seemingly infinite possibilities to think of within a finite time of existence, the mind chooses to revel in these things that seem to go in vain? I understand that sometimes, it’s just a way to work out difficult issues, and maybe I shouldn’t be bothered that it gets sublimated this way. At least I’m not the one structuring the back office of my mind. It’s through that realization that makes me feel at ease, and to just not complicate things beyond my capability.

It feels like its confusion at first, but I guess that positive reinforcement kicks in to show you that you don’t have to try to be omniscient over yourself just to iron out all probable flaws that may be affecting you. Just let your imagination deal with that; even though that, ironically, is personifying it, and the brain either way.


____


I see so many people get adoptables, or going through auctions for certain concepts, but it's only for them to develop the habit of being magpies, and letting those concepts go into dust. All of those good concepts that makes me wish I stayed a little longer in the night for new ones to claim, and to actually put into use, and experimentation. But, I did get some decent, and abstract ones, but I really have to watch that wallet. Or, I stop being lazy, and create my own concepts. Hell, I spent over 10 hours typing what goes on in my head back then for practice via image streaming, so I'm sure with enough time and devotion, I can make a decent concept.

But then I realized that no matter how good one's imagination is, it can't compensate for the shitty drawings I would make in the future. Man, I should spend more time studying classes on concept art rather than 3D, but anything related to concept art is the same pipeline EVERY TIME.

1. Gather references
2. Anatomy blah balh blabahb progress learning curve blahs blahbalsdhfba; already have notes on the same stroking over a muscle set and form..BOO HOO
3. Thumbnails and block outs
4. Sped up version of ironing out concept
5. ????
6. Concept to be shifted over into modelling

Like that #5. This would be the holy grail. If anyone can figure this out, please, just throw it out there to me. I have a feeling it's going to be a gitGudm8, though. Then I realize, who gives a shit over what #5 is. Just spam the pipeline like an industrialized process!

Rave & Rant: I've been helping my mum move house the past couple of days, which is cool, however moving all that furniture is a pain, particularly getting 50-100kg stuff up 3 flights of stairs. So I am bruised and battered but its worth it :p.

Car sound amazing, Volts!

Link, enjoy your time off!! Adoptables?
I know very little about artistic talent (I drew fairly nicely when I was pregnant with Destinee- never had before and rarely did after). My step-daughter is a very talented artist though. She does this thing where she makes herself draw one thing a day for a year. She keeps it in a little moleskin notebook and shares it on Instagram/FB. She says it's helped a lot. She'll do various "studies" of landscapes, people, or objects to practice scaling and shading and such.

Blair, good job helping your mom

Rave: I got a DS 3D XL and bought New Leaf from my daughter (they pawned her DS). I'm in love.
Last night, I was in bed naked but covered and on my DS when my son knocked and asked to come in. He then proceeded to laugh hard at me.
Not only was I in bed, in the dark, but I was also wearing those free 3D glasses you get at the theater.
I wore them to see if it would help stabilize my 3D vision (don't think so).

Rave: After searching high and low for the past several months, I stumbled upon my old DS games. I then apologized to Destinee because I was SO certain one of her friends stole them. I swear I searched that cabinet 50 times and never saw them I was looking for my DSi (which I haven't found yet) and just stumbled on the games
The games are backwards compatible
Now, if only I could find the rest of them. Brain Age, Chrono Cross and my Sims games were not with this group.

Rant: Something died in the insulation under the bathroom. It smelled mildly foul for 2 days (must be something small), but now the flies are swarming.
Rant: the fleas are especially vicious this year and my room has it the worst. The dog only comes back here to drink because my room is that bad. As soon as I wake up, I spray myself with DEET.
Rant: the annoying piss ants have made their way to my bed I REALLY need to wash 4 months of laundry that's under my bed in open containers. Everything's probably breeding in there.
Rant: My knee STILL hurts. It STILL swells whenever I first wake up and after I've been standing or walking a while I've been pain free maybe 12 hours out of the past several months now. I'm walking with a limp again. September can't arrive soon enough (my Ortho app).

Rant: Paula is probably going to lose her job because she didn't get enough money for a car quickly enough. Hubby has the next 14 days off work. We're going to be out of town for at least a week of that and he wants me at HIS beck and call the remainder of his time off in case he decides to do something else.
Rant: Paula lost (or had stolen) her wallet. Her paychecks are direct deposited onto a Walmart mastercard. She killed her missing credit card and ordered a new one but it won't arrive for 10 days. So, I wasn't paid for my gas this week but she and Destinee will be suffering moreso.

Curiosity: someone was pretending to be my daughter Zee yesterday at a local park. Zee doesn't even live in WV and she hasn't been in town for more that an hour in several years. Why?

Hope everyone is well and safe.

A little annoyed. About 2 years ago I decided I wanted to do more than production/quality work in a factory. I put in all the time and work into changing that and graduated with good grades. Now a month later... I'm still where I was when I started.

I got a new job back in April. It's just frustrating how slow the transfer process moves along. They finally picked a replacement for me two weeks ago. But as of Friday, they still haven't even posted his job on the transfer board. So he has to wait for his job to be filled, then train on my job, then finally I can transfer. It'll happen eventually so I can't complain too much, but it's still frustrating to have spent so much time and effort only to get left twiddling my thumbs.

Bought myself I think it's a 42 watt amp from a pawn shop. Starting to get back into electric guitar. Learned the 5th and 6th string notes and I think I can figure out the rest of the notes.

Does this really count for this thread?

I /partially/ bought a book about drawing yesterday: I paid $2 of it. I'm just thinking since I did that instead of letting my Dad pay for the whole thing I actually want to use it more than I otherwise would, but that may be a false lead; I've just been thinking of investing myself much more in drawing so I'm getting different results by actually doing so. I haven't even read the book beyond the first couple of pages yet.

In other news I got an Intellivision for approx. $10 because it had a broken RF unit and I had a half-off coupon.

I'm sure your post will be relevant for this thread. I mean, I did complain about drawing, and art in general. This could just be a rave on your end if you're really wanting to find what it counts as. I don't think anyone will go apeshit on you either. Not sure the forum is as strict as it was before, but I think it's a lot looser, at least in this thread. I think as long as you're not going balls to the wall on calling out on someone, you'll be okay.

What Link said *agrees*
Now, stop procrastiating and get to it- if it's something you truly want to invest in (and not something you think you *should* invest in)

Have fun Oneiroer!

Sefalik, I hope the transfer comes sooner rather than later and that you love your new position

Rave-ish: I just got out of the shower and yet again was confronting by my ugly hips. What the heck causes this huge indentation? So I finally googled it. After some searching I discovered others have these hips and that they're commonly called 'violin hips' or 'hip dips'.
I'm *right* at the ideal weight on the chart but I'm 50 pounds heavier than I was in my youth. I don't really recall noticing these hips until the last year or so. Or, if I did, they didn't bother me because they were hardly noticeable.
I big part of me thinks they're there because I'm subluxing my hips. If I stand "like a normal person", they're not there at all. When I'm relaxed and just me, it's *wowzers!"
It's nice having a name to put to something....... but it sucks because there's not much to be done about it outside plastic surgery (or, you know, standing like a normal person).

Rave: I FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY got my laundry done. It's somewhat disheartening that nearly every stitch of clothing I own, plus 3 sheets, fit into 2 1/2 18 gallon containers. And it's somewhat... ? ... disgusting that I managed to make all of that stretch for at least 4 months In my defense, I washed a few of those in the shower several times. But still...

Rant-ish: Hubby's sending me out for hotdogs and it's pouring down the rain. My mother used to tell me "S*it don't melt" yet I still don't look forward to getting wet again.... but I am hungry and hubby is treating.

Rant: I have to drive Paula to her work place so she can turn in her badge and keys.

rant: A fruit fly just flew up my nose wth bug

Hope everyone is doing well.