Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

lol, Wobly. Sounds like my kind of "exercise"

My rant is that I slept miserably. I shaved my bikini area the other day and the pricklies are driving me mad. I'm constantly scratching in my sleep. Now I remember why I typically ignore the forest
I also ate some instant mashed potatoes and half a cup of Ramen which did not set well on my stomach at all. I was very gassy and all around miserable all night. Plus, the temp rose and I was burning up because my AC wasn't set low enough
Not to mention I slept from around 2-10:30PM last night before trying to crash again at 4:30AM

I did manage to have some pretty wild dreams, though... but most were mostly forgotten.

It should be a quiet, peaceful day. My only chore is the try to figure out how to block or tape off an opening int he bathroom that the cats use to get inside. Their butts are getting banned to outside only. There's cat crap in every single room of the house. The little brats are completely ignoring their literboxes now We kick them out, though, and they keep finding a way back in. I'll take care of the bathroom and then see if there's any other access points.

lol, imagine shaving your ass Zhaylin. SO itchy.

Rant: I have TWO of the performance tests this semester. One of them we only get a grade, but the other is like usual and you HAVE to pass it with a certain score.
I'm rather worried. Haven't practiced enough.
I had a practice with two people from my class and one of them is the most distractable person ever so we barely got anything done.
OTOH it was highly amusing coz we were screwing around with the human dummies that you practice on.
But I need to practice!

The problem is if you just forget one little thing, you're fucked. You get one more chance and if you fail again you have to repeat the class.
I think I'm gonna just practice on a pretend person, just go through the motions slowly and remember each step.
BUT I barely have any time. So much to do!
UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rant we heard a strange beeping noise in our house about 11:11 am and I'm still not sure where it came from.

^ Smoke Detector?

Rant: I feel like everyone on Dreamviews is either depressed or just ignoring me. I didn't LD last night even after 15 minutes of autosuggestion. I didn't even recall anything. My legs are sore from doing three step kicking in Taekwondo. I am such a lazy loser. Itunes keeps crashing and I can't listen to my music. I missed getting to hang out with my friends S and C because I had to help my mom with a graphic design project at her work. I selfishly want a smiley with hetrochromia, like how some of the other users have their own smilies. :canislucidus: I want one . The new Infected Mushroom album is coming out in October, and I can't wait that long! My backpack that I've had since freshman year of highschool broke today, the zipper came off. I also lost my Osmium pin that I kept pinned on the strap. That was a gift from my favorite science teacher! My cat threw up on the carpet this morning and there were no paper towels to clean it up.

And worst of all I just stranded five kerbals in orbit around minimus in my career game in KSP!

Wow. JadeGreen. So far you win for suckiest day! Hope it gets better.

lol, Tommo, I would go insane. These pricklies are bad enough Good luck with practice!!

No real rants here... just the usual: fatigue. I'm about to take a nap. I've been awake since 8:30AM though. I'd like to say it's a nice change from my usual (awake by 2PM ) but meh, doesn't really make any difference.
All of the cats seemed to handle being outside all night just fine. Even the littlest one. I've not seen Climber, Ms.Molly or Squirmy yet today, but they frequently spend days-at-a-time outside.

My daughter's getting on my last nerve. she's had one chore to do and 4 days later it's still not done. "But why do *I* have to clean the nasty bathroom?!" "You live here rent free is why" She's also the one who put clothes in the tub and Miley needs to tub cleaned out so she can finish mopping the living room (the water doesn't work right in the tub so it serves no purpose other than to rinse out mops).

Rant: I'm making Chicken & Dumplings – Stewed Chicken with Thyme Crème Fraiche "Dumplins" for my boyfriend, his sick. I'm busy busy.. No JadeGreen it wasn't a Smoke Detector.. Whatever it was, it made me look at the clock. *shrugs* Reality check!!

Originally Posted by JadeGreen

^ Smoke Detector?

Rant: I feel like everyone on Dreamviews is either depressed or just ignoring me. I didn't LD last night even after 15 minutes of autosuggestion. I didn't even recall anything. My legs are sore from doing three step kicking in Taekwondo. I am such a lazy loser. Itunes keeps crashing and I can't listen to my music. I missed getting to hang out with my friends S and C because I had to help my mom with a graphic design project at her work. I selfishly want a smiley with hetrochromia, like how some of the other users have their own smilies. :canislucidus: I want one . The new Infected Mushroom album is coming out in October, and I can't wait that long! My backpack that I've had since freshman year of highschool broke today, the zipper came off. I also lost my Osmium pin that I kept pinned on the strap. That was a gift from my favorite science teacher! My cat threw up on the carpet this morning and there were no paper towels to clean it up.

And worst of all I just stranded five kerbals in orbit around minimus in my career game in KSP!

Holy Shit!

I'm back to work tomorrow...but no one else has to get up until...Thursday :S (Oh it's Monday btw)

Rant: Today was the first day of year 13 and it felt so weird. My two best friends both failed their exams in June so they have to repeat year 12. And now we have two new people in our class and idk what to think of them? Like I get along with everyone in my class and just the fact that I don't really know these two guys is stressing me out. Mainly because I'm afraid they might be bullies? And also most of my friends graduated last year and I really miss them I actually felt really lonely today.

Another rant is that I went to the doctors yesterday (still for my infection what a surprise), and they made a hospital appointment for me. Apparently I'll have to have surgery I'm in constant pain and they said they can't really make it an emergency so i'll have to suck up the pain and wait for 3 whole weeks. And after the surgery I won't be allowed to wear jeans for a while, so people will start asking me questions as to why I'm wearing joggers to school. And I can't exactly say "oh well I just had surgery on my private parts". School is going to be hell omg. I already know that I'll feel bad for lying to my friends once again. Last year I lied to them about why I missed so many days at school because of my allergic reaction to my antidepressants and now this?

I'm so nervous for Friday. The tickets for bring me the horizon go on sale at 10am and i'll be at school. This is like the tour of the year, so I'm sure the gig will be sold out within hours. I'm gonna have to ask my stepmum if she can order them for me or otherwise I'm screwed.

Sucks Crashyy
Hmm yeah I took a year out when at Uni and when I came back pretty well all my friends had left and got jobs. Was weird to start with.
But on the positive you could make friends you wouldn't have otherwise. As to joggers you could say it was a fashion statement idk.
Feel for you.

Well, it's been a while. How you doing people?

Summer's almost over, ugh. I start classes in two weeks I think and anxiety is taking over. Besides that everything feels more or less okay. My mood is not a rollercoaster anymore and anxiety has decreased, so I can't really complain. I'm actually excited to begin again and keep the mind busy.

I also have to get in touch with LD again, get a new dream journal...

That's all, hope you people are alright

for everyone.
Feeling anti-social but I've been lurking.

Hahaha awww I get like that sometimes but for me its just being shy...1 day I will overcome such things through the power of lucidity *hopes* and through pure luck most likely

OOps I stayed up late watching Winter sonata Korean romantic series now am supppper tired....

Am I a sleep? Yes most definitely

Another one bites the dust, I guess.
The last time time I had a romantic relationship fail, I said I should just become a nun, and yet here I am again, yayyyyyy

Told myself I wouldn't even get attached, but in a years time I'll admit that I did...KNOWING that he would most likely never be willing to give me the kind of relationship I truly wanted. Dunno what the hell I was thinking...word to the wise!

It's hurts so bad when you can't HELP but want something you know ain't gonna be good for you. At least with the others I was investing my heart into someone I believed in, but in this case I have no one but myself to blame.

Now I MUST see past that killer attraction (unlike any ive ever experienced) and see him for what he really is. When I realized I don't like what I see (lies, manipulation, inability to communicate, immaturity)...I knew I had to put my foot down.

Sadly, he is the type that would rather let me walk out his life forever than make any attempt to fight for what we have, OR even admit he may have been wrong. I told him "all I can be to you is a friend now" and he said "that is very fine with me, you are a good friend."

Not just fine, VERY fine. Wtf.
And yet THAT is how I know I made the right decision.

....I don't have to like it though.

Certainly don't blame yourself...no one can consider themselves to blame unless they are in control of all there desires and thought patterns...
So unless possibly if you are a god or goddess or other similar deity...
As no human is in control of them, the best you can be is aware that you have a choice to say yes or no to them.
And if we were aware all the time to catch ourselves making the wrong(?) move...

we'd be able to get lucid dreams 100% of the time...and I don't see that happening to soon

Anyway my heart go out to you

So Thursday morning was the last day of the term at school. We had two tests and that was it. So afterwards I just just sitting outside, and one of the guys from the class came over and handed me a big water bottle. Somewhat odd gesture, but hey, I was thirsty. Take a drink... OH, that's vodka. So three of us finished that off in a couple minutes and parted ways.

So I got home early and had some beers. Just two (granted 11%) and went to bed. I sleep-snoozed my alarm a couple times and finally woke up with 5 minutes to spare before leaving for work. Got up all groggy, put some clothes on, grabbed some water, and walked out the door. No coffee, no food, nothing. As I was driving, it kind of hit me: I feel like shit.


So all that leads up to the rant... I felt HORRIBLE the entire shift at work. I didn't even think I drank the much, but it's probably also because I didn't get to eat anything until about 5 hours into the shift. But seriously... horrible... and I don't even feel like it was justified! This is why I never even attempt to get full-blown drunk anymore. I'm getting too old for this, I guess (25 is old apparently).



But the rave is that that's 3/8 terms finished for school, so I'm practically half-way done. And it's a three-day weekend.

Edit: Oh and I was doing some PC file organizing the other day and randomly found the non-santa-hat version of my avatar. Only took 2 or 3 years or somethng.

Ugh exams and stuff coming up, time to focus on them for the next two months rather than lucid dreaming . I keep on procrastinating with preparing for my chinese oral exam, but I need to JUST DO IT!!!! .
Rave: My basketball team is into the semi finals, winning by one point . Also I've been doing the headspace take10 mediation course lately and it is great Has really given me a boost for motivation with meditation and some tangible results.

Acatalephobic. Though it hurts. it's better you cut ties now rather than wait it out. It would have hurt more the longer you waited.

Sefalik. I don't even try to drink any more. It either puts me right to sleep and/or causes EXTREME pain in my stomach where my ribs meet (ulcer?). And that's after ONE wine cooler-type drink or mixed drink

My rant is that I scrubbed the bathroom last night. It was only fair since it was my cat (Simon) that crapped everywhere. Everyone ignored the piles for over a month. The maggots took care of most of the mess. I added some bleach and some water and everything came RIGHT up. It was the easiest job. My rant is that we allowed it to get THAT disgusting in the first place. But all of the cats have been staying outside and the house is already looking a million times better. Miley and Ray have been taking care of the living room and their bedrooms and the laundry room. The only thing really left to tackle is the kitchen and master bedroom.

The kitchen is dirty from use (not cats). The masterbedroom is filled with a dozen or so boxes that need sorted and re-boxed into plastic boxes, then moved to the garage. The plastic boxes are about $5. each, and I NEED an oil change this up-coming week, so that will be the last room done.
But it's getting there.

Which, I guess, is actually a rave

Another rant/rave is that I'm "stealing" my daughter's fiancee. Paula is having a major crisis of conscience. She thinks the end of the world is right around the corner and she's gay and going to hell for it. Jehovah's Witnesses don't believe in hell. I've been trying to tell her not to do anything rash out of FEAR of punishment but out of LOVE for God and pleasing him. I ask her "how would you feel if you break up with Destinee and ten years pass and the world hasn't ended yet." That could cause bitterness toward God.
She invited me to go to church with her. I told her my conscience only allows me to go to the Kingdom Hall (after all, other churches spout stuff about hell which I don't believe in). I offered to go to the Kingdom Hall with her, so that's what we'll be doing tomorrow.
Which will be weird seeing how I've not stepped foot inside for at least 3 years now.

Time to find food.

Originally Posted by MeohMyoh

Sucks Crashyy
Hmm yeah I took a year out when at Uni and when I came back pretty well all my friends had left and got jobs. Was weird to start with.
But on the positive you could make friends you wouldn't have otherwise. As to joggers you could say it was a fashion statement idk.
Feel for you.

Ah yeah that might actually work or maybe I could tell them I have a bad case of kidney stones? It's pretty common and it does hurt a lot and it's nothing to be ashamed of. Anyway I still have two weeks left to think of something. And did you actually get used to your friends not being around anymore?

About the bmth tickets, I managed to order 6 presale tickets on Wednesday. And I was so relieved .

Rant: My depression and anxiety is getting worse again. I've been crying myself to sleep for the past few nights, I know it's pathetic but I can't help it. On thursday, I had a job interview for my work experience. I kept having panic attacks and I felt so sick. I did end up getting the job and I start on Thursday but I'm really not looking forward to it. On Friday, I already had trouble with getting out of bed and it was only the fourth day of school? I really have no idea how I'm going to survive & pass this year. I've considered going back to counselling again, but it didn't work out last time so why would it this time? My parents think I'm doing so much better and I don't want them to worry about me. Especially not my mum since she's still recovering from her heart attack. So now I'm back to putting a smile on my face and pretending to be fine. When in fact I'm not. People always say that things will get better in time but I'm really starting to believe that it's just bs. I've been struggling with things for over 6 years now and idk I just can't seem to get better no matter what I do.

Learning to turn my depression into a good thing. Sometimes I just have to be alone.

Rave: My mum got some vitamin B supplement things for stress leading up to the exams, and it has B6 and B12! it has 50mg of B6 and 50 micrograms of B12, I don't know if thats a lot or not but hopefully it should result in some wacky dreams!

I had a tremendously good weekend, but I was still hungover at midnight yesterday from Saturday. It was worth it though. I also got my first tattoo!

It's a magick sigil I designed that says "I am a lucid dreamer." I like it!

Nice! Grats on the tattoo

My rant is my sleep. I woke up with a yelp and kicked off all my blankets and scared the heck out of my bird lol. I dreamed a mouse or spiders were crawling on my legs. I was just drenched in sweat and I guess it was trickling
Then I woke with a jump and an eek some time after that because I dreamed I was signing something at a store and knocked over a tv.
what the heck? I seemed to sleep fine otherwise.

My hubby is also driving me bonkers. We'll talk over the computer (audio only) and he'll not say anything for forever, trying to decide what to do He's become very indecisive in his old age. I'm no help, though, because I don't want to do anything But I can tell when he's really itching to do something. Nothing sounds interesting to us anti-social ones however. So we eat. I think that's why old, married people tend to get fat. They have nothing in common any more, or no energy or inclination to do anything else, so they dine.

The meeting at the Kingdom Hall was really nice. Paula fell asleep during the last part but she tried I think I'm going to try to make this a habit.
Hope everyone's having a great day.

Originally Posted by Crashyy

People always say that things will get better in time but I'm really starting to believe that it's just bs. I've been struggling with things for over 6 years now and idk I just can't seem to get better no matter what I do.

It does. If you work at it. With anxiety related stuff it is best not to push it IMO. Just keep trying, if you fail it's okay. Just keep going.
It works. The shit I do now I couldn't even imagine (literally) a few years ago. I talk to people with no worries.
I'm still awkward af, but I just accept that's how I am. I don't worry about it.
A few years ago I'd barely do anything in social situations, in fear of what people thought about my actions or words.
I never even thought about having an actual conversation and getting to know someone.
I do that all the time now.

Just take it day by day. You'll get here. ("here" was supposed to be "there" but I think that typo works too )

Rant: 2 more days until test that I absolutely have to pass.
My pump for the float tank came though.... I really want to get it up and running.
I also don't actually know what to study/practice for the test. I feel like I'm ready, but I still feel totally not ready.
My theory knowledge is way above anyone else in the course, probably above 3rd year people's knowledge.
It's just that actual practical stuff and having to do it without any mistakes that is worrying me.

Related rant is something that's been bothering me. People, even in my nursing course, say I should be a doctor because they think I'm smart.
For one, they're saying nurses are dumb, and by default the students saying this are dumb. Second, just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should.
I just finally figured out what I want to do and people are still telling me to do something else.
I've been listening to people tell me what I should do forever, and it hasn't worked out so far.

Guys, if you have any ability for self-reflection, and I think all of us here do, don't fucking listen to other people's advice, they don't know jack shit.