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If you are genuinely surprised by that you should try working in retail.Quote:
Originally Posted by dutchraptor
But if you do, be prepared to lose any remnants of hope you may have had for humanity.
The only upside is that the rudeness, impatience, and general stupidity of the public will eventually cease to surprise you.
Acid can vary, and a lot of acid out today is just research chems and doesn't give the same experience, in my opinion. I prefer acid, but if you want something therapeutic mushrooms is a better wager simply because you know what you're getting. I find psychedelics, in general, to be very therapeutic. Typically there's a critical point where you must choose to let go, and from there you are at peace. You can call it removing the ego, if you like, but really you're just so much more aware and your perception is so much more intensified that you may find yourself at the brink of panic. And once you let go and allow yourself to go with it, then you feel quasi-enlightened. You have truth.Quote:
Originally Posted by NewArtemis
EFT does sound hokey, but it didn't always have so many god damned new age entrepreneurs flooding the information with fluffy sales pitch. It's pretty simple. There's stress caused by the dealing with an angry boss or a rude customer or whatever, and then there's residual stress caused by your mind continuing to replay and react. When dealing with residual stress, label it and start tapping the focal points and you deal directly with the stress on a neurological level so you can absolve it at the source. It allows you to leave it behind.
You can get butthurt about it all you want to, lil buddy. Also, most shopping markets do have an express lane. smhQuote:
Originally Posted by dutchraptor
That's still kinda stupid. ^ I mean, yes: you were there first and don't need to let someone in front of you. But that's kinda like noticing someone following behind you yet not waiting three seconds to hold the door open for them. Or the drivers that cut in front of people so that they can arrive at their destination two seconds earlier.
And there's no express line at my grocery store.
No, it's nothing like that. People hold the door open because it's proper etiquette, not because they're trying to be nice. I hate most people irl and still hold the door. The driver comparison doesn't even accidentally make sense in the context of the op. That would be like someone in the store darting in front of me as we both approach the check out, which implies intent. Me already in line not letting someone go ahead isn't intentional, I don't wait in line hoping someone shows up to battle, I just enjoy it when it happens.Quote:
Originally Posted by sefalik
I suppose a better scenario-based comparison would be at a red light where a single car on one side wants to make a turn going across opposing traffic. On the opposite side is a huge line of cars all going straight. You, being the full-shopping-cart-pusher, are the first car in that long line of opposing traffic, yet you don't allow the lone car to quickly turn first when the light turns green.
But really, I wasn't trying to recreate an identical situation to grocery store check out lines in my comparisons. Really, I was just trying to call you a dick without being so blunt. So, there you go. :) Not that it matters, I'm just sayin' is all.
I haven't been ranting here because there's the skype group. You guys should join too!
Rant: I'm on very bad terms with my family. I always was, but it keeps getting worse. I haven't seen them for almost a year now and I don't want to. They just make me feel like shit and I'm happier without them. They are control-freaks, they are manipulative and they lie to me. And I cant even talk about it to anyone else because an outsider will judge me as an evil person for not getting along with my family, and then all the blame is on me. :|
Rave: Went out to lunch with my crush last week.:D I talked too much and almost made a fool of myself but at least we broke the ice.
:hug: Tommo. Hope you're feeling better now.
Anju, glad you're enjoying Skype :) I can't chat. My brain doesn't work fast enough lol. I just sit in silence with a dead brain :lol: I like message boards because if I take 2 minutes between sentences, no one notices :D
My pet peeve when driving is when I'm in the fast lane, stuck behind a line of slow cars... the slow lane has a gap in it but it's clogged up too. Then some idiot tries passing me. Really?! Where the heck do you think you're going to go :furious: I speed up so that I'm tailgating just so that jerk can't cut in front of me. I'm usually an extremely curteous driver. Even if I'm already going 75 in the fast lane; if someone is coming up behind me driving faster, I get over when I can. I tend to use the fast lane only for passing anyhow (but that's because I'm always wary of speed traps and I falsely believe I'm more vulnerable in the fast lane).
But I rage when people try to pass me in clogged traffic :roll:
My rant is that the "hunger" is back. Oh well. Go away weird stomach problems, e-cigs are healthier for me in every other way imaginable.
I've also been sleeping like crap for the last day and a half. Caffeine seems to finally be effecting me like a somewhat normal person :lol: I used to be able to take a caffeine pill and fall right to sleep if I was sleepy enough. Yesterday I tried that and gah!- I tossed and turned all night.
Finally getting around to responses, old and new. I meant to post it last night but I ended up passing out at my computer from exhaustion....
Gotcha, well that's odd.... Maybe I'd have to watch one of your actual conversations actually play out to get a better grasp on it. :huh: Heh.... Maybe if you're going to see someone again, go look into whatever it is that they said they were interested in and see if there's some kind of event related to it in your area, and invite them to it?Quote:
Originally Posted by NewArtemis
Those dreams sounds way more interesting than mine, which are often about school or work and usually from my own perspective. :chuckle: Nothing incredible new or exciting there, just the occasionally rather odd or disturbing random dream thing....Quote:
Originally Posted by Zhaylin
I don't think they're psychotic, I'm jealous!
And that makes sense about trying to catch a cold, hahaha. X)
Sounds about right.... I really wish I could get that high again lol. I sort of wish after that experience I had just put down the weed and said "Alright, I'm doing this once every six months so it never changes."Quote:
Originally Posted by tommo
Sort of. >_>
Mm, I think the song I was listening to at the time was this one:Quote:
Originally Posted by tommo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0G3_kG5FFfQ
My current favorite though is this one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqajUg85Ax4
:content:
And she is beautiful, she's one of my celebrity crushes at the moment hehe.... :smitten:
One of my friends had this same response. I'm thinking LSZ too because it has a known receptor binding profile, but AL-LAD does sound really cool too.... (Not as cool at ETH-LAD though, damn RC chemists!)Quote:
Originally Posted by tommo
Both LSZ and AL-LAD are supposed to be a bit more lucid than LSD at regular doses, but LSZ is said to be less visual while AL-LAD is more visual. On the other hand, I've heard of LSZ being redeemed by having *some* level of mindfuck at higher doses, which I haven't heard so much from AL-LAD but I do here that it gains more of an LSD-like sparkle at higher doses. One major difference to consider (given my drug habits) is that they both dose around the same per hit (150 micrograms) but so far the highest safe dose of LSZ I'm aware of being taken is 1050 mcg while for AL-LAD it's 2200 mcg. Just something to keep in mind when planning for my future.... Another thing though is that I can easily get lots of LSZ right now while AL-LAD is limited....
For me it was sour diesel. :P It was my second time using a bong and only like second week of smoking or so. Never got remotely that high again.Quote:
Originally Posted by Athylus
They are really cool, and I think you would love mushrooms. :D Hehe, are you coming stateside some time soon? ;DQuote:
Originally Posted by Athylus
What he's referring to is usually called ego loss or ego death. Traditional psychedelics (including LSD) tend to cause it on this spectrum... from lowest level to highest level, with the dose you take, personal sensitivity, environment, and other factors contributing to just how high on the spectrum you go per trip (e.g., you might only reach the first level if you don't dose high): first memory and cognitive functions become faulty and time seems extremely dilated, then your long-term memory becomes weaker and weaker until it totally vanishes, then short-term memory starts to completely vanish as well, and after that point your cognitive processes are so inhibited and you're so detached from your schema that you're reduced to basically an infantile state where everything is completely new and foreign to you like you're experiencing it for the first time and you can't correctly identity or differentiate anything, including yourself from your environment, and higher than that you no longer even exist, everything in "your" reality is just sensory information (usually hallucinations, but sometimes just a void) floating by, and beyond that is just unconsciousness, total blackout. Technically, this last phase is the only "true" ego death, in the sense that ego in this case is related to the self, so the only state in which the self is truly gone is during that nothingness, like when you're asleep but not dreaming. What people generally mean when they say "loss of self" on a psychedelic is "loss of sense of self", which would be the last two stages before the blackout. With the one where you just can't differentiate between anything, you might have some sense of control in the sense that even though you don't know what anything is you can still kind of recognize that "you" as a conscious perspective still have the ability to interact with / modify your sensory experience. (Note that this applies particularly to things like LSD.... If you're smoking like DMT for instance you may reach out-of-body experiences before reaching ego death, which of course would work a little differently.) In the last stage before consciousness, it really is a complete loss of sense of self, there is no "you" at all, just the experience. This generally requires you to be able to completely let go of every last bit of control of your reality, as OP mentioned, and it's not always easy (particularly when you're new to it). And by "not always easy", I mean "often a life-changing experience".Quote:
Originally Posted by NewArtemis
If you're interested in hallucinations or severe alterations in consciousness, the ego death is really the most fascinating part of the trip. But if you're interested in psychotherapeutic effects, in my opinion the most intriguing part is what comes after it. Well, I guess it depends.... The first few times you might overcome your fear of death or something similar, which is obviously therapeutic. Afterwards though the really interesting part is when your ego starts to reform; at that point you slowly rediscover yourself piece by piece coming from that totally infantile or even beyond-human state of mind, which means that you have a chance to completely re-evaluate every aspect of your life from outside your normal perspective. It's in this state that people often come face to face with their problems, insecurities, inner desires, and so on, and often end up being more honest with themselves than they were before. That could be what that guy was referring to when he mentioned coming face to face with your problems... or, he could mean during the ego loss itself. If you get to the point of full hallucinations and nothing else then such an experience can't really happen, because there's no "you" to experience it, but the hallucinations I suppose could still be themed with it and it would be more likely to happen in the stage where you're still in significant ego loss but have some obscure sense of control. What it really comes down to though is just how in touch you are with your inner self, as with your ego crushed your sense of identity and your mind/hallucinations will be based entirely on that inner you, even when your sense of self is totally gone (and note that this is significant in why it's not "true" ego death unless you're totally unconscious - even if you don't have a sense of yourself existing, if you're experiencing anything at all then it's still *you* as a biological machine getting that sensory information and that that sensory information is based on). If you ignore your true desire or things in your subconscious and are very attached to your ego as being who you really are, it can be very uncomfortable to reach that place. On the other hand, if you're already true to yourself it's not really a big deal. I've thus far found nothing but love and sexiness in that place, though I have had actual issues to deal with in the stages after it that I mentioned.
LSD I think is the perfect psychedelic in terms of following this setup. For reasons not yet entirely understood, and unique to it, LSD works in two phases. This has been reported extremely widespread anecdotally as well as having been studied in animal tests. The first phase of LSD is dominated by serotonin receptor activation with some dopamine receptor activation, whereas the second is dominated by dopamine activity with some serotonin activity. In rodents this shift seems to happen around an hour and a half after it kicks in (they inject it, so it would take a little longer if they fed it to them orally), whereas in humans both just from hearing others and from personal experience it seems that the biggest part of the shift happens around 3-5 hours, or maybe a little longer depending on the dose. Because of this switch, at least in normal doses it tends to work like this: the first part of the trip is overwhelmingly psychedelic, and in the second part you're still tripping but it's much more lucid and stimulating. Because of D2 receptor activity, a lot of people find this phase to be paranoid, probably because that can lower dopamine. However, it all comes down to how you look at it. For me, the second part of the trip is extremely sexual and euphoric, which can also be mediated by D2 from lowering prolactin. This is actually the way that many sex-enhancing drugs used in the steroid community work, some of which are actually non-psychedelic LSD analogues.
Does that answer your question?
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RAVE: Welp, I ended up tripping again like I said I was going to. :movingmrgreen: And it ROCKED. It was the best trip of my life hands down. Somewhere between 8-10 hits of LSD (I was tripping too hard already to even remember how long I kept the last two in my mouth or if I swallowed them), lots of weed and JWH-250 (my favorite synthetic cannabinoid), and a good salvia extract. :teeth: And I was watching these ridiculously (INSANELY) sexual and overwhelming and trippy Bollywood music videos for a lot of it.... I was cruising through the cosmos mainly.... It's slightly a rant because I used the end of my salvia and it's illegal here now, but it was the BEST use of the end of it I could possibly ask for. Because of the acid I was able to dive infinitely deeper with it than I've ever been able to before, and it was extremely euphoric. The first time was just pure, unadulterated ego death. The second I came down I smoked it again. On LSD I seem to always get this feeling where I'm so confused about what's going on around me that anything could exist at any state at any time; this is mainly expressed psychologically and visually. However, when the second salvia hit was added in the same effect was applied to my understanding of spacetime and where I existed in my environment. I experienced myself occupying an extremely vast space and also saw two perspectives, one from myself and one rotating around myself from a distance. There was a rushing feeling that was so intense with this total destruction of the integrity of physical space that I felt like this has to be what it's like when you die and you see your reality just erode in front of you. I think I tried to smoke more after that I but I can't remember what happened.... Mostly though after I ended up smoking more JWH-250 and weed....
I think I'm done with LSD for now, I need to move on to some other psychedelics for the moment. Ibogaine probably will genuinely be the next thing I do now.... But damn, I really wish I could get some more salvia. This combination is probably my new favorite now, I want to do LSD + salvia + DMT. :biggrin:
Today I wrote her again and she apologized that she forgets to write back which is nice and thoughtful.
I had a dream about her last night again.She has been stirring my thoughts up to a slush a lot recently.
I'm happy and nervous and depressed and anxious and so much more all at the same time.It changes in 10 minute intervals
Acid cured my cluster headaches and depression. Honestly, the experience itself is what you make it. If you want to dance and party, it won't help--at all. It's a very lethargic high (though 2CE tends to be a bit more active), and it can be a very very illuminating experience. I had had an ego death years prior in a baseline lucid dream, so it is hard to say if my experience was typical.Quote:
Originally Posted by NewArtemis
There are no such things as bad trips. Know that going in. The trip is 100% what you make it. If you are anxious, depressed, angry, or sad, that will become magnified.
Maybe I wasn't clear enough, there are no scenarios with a car that are remotely close to shopping cart shenanigans; you can't die in a pile-up while break checking folks in a fucking grocer.Quote:
Originally Posted by sefalik
***REMOVED***
And that's why it's pathetic. You do the 'nice' things that are required but in the shopping line you get a chance to be a dick and you're glad to take it. That's pathetic. You should do things to try and be nice.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rums03
EDIT: I don't know why you 'hate most people irl', but you should try being nice, it makes everyone feel better including yourself. The way you're going about it just creates a bad atmosphere for no reason. You've probably made a couple of people unhappy, and for what? about 40 seconds of your time? And now you're stretching the negativity to include people on the internet as well. So you should try being nice - or if your hatred for people doesn't allow you to do that, maybe you should work on trying to fix that hate.
Can you read? Me already in line not letting someone go ahead isn't intentional, I don't wait in line hoping someone shows up to battle, I just enjoy it when it happensQuote:
Originally Posted by Maeni
Please continue schooling me in morals, though.
Yeah, you enjoy being a dick to people, I can read. If someone asks if they can go past, then you have a choice and whichever choice you make is intentional. You could have a good reason for saying no, like maybe they actually don't have that few items or you're in one hell of a hurry. Otherwise, if you're just saying no because you can, and because you enjoy doing that to people, that makes you a dick. I'm sorry if you view that as moral schooling, if it is then that would be one of the very first lessons. If you're happy to be a dick to people, I'm not going to demand you to stop doing that. But know that being like that is rude and you are in the wrong for doing it. You've even managed to get fired up at two members here - chill, dude.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rums03
It was rhetorical, I don't need any life lessons from you.
You're psychic then, because you can clearly read the anger in my words and just see my face wince in pain from having to deal with the likes of these idiots. I bet I typed really hard when I wrote it too, huh? oyQuote:
You've even managed to get fired up at two members here - chill, dude.
I don't need psychic powers to do that. Whether intentional or not, you're conveying that hatred you talked about earlier very well. I can't tell if it's anger or calm contempt or something else, but it's something, and it's very negative. You acted as though you thought you were in the right and that what you did was justifiable, I'm just telling you it isn't. If you want to go on doing it anyway, that's fine, but I didn't want you to think that it isn't being a dick. If you're aware of that, then alright we're done - I just wish you'd at least strive towards not being a dick. (Or as a first step, strive towards tackling your hate.)Quote:
Originally Posted by Rums03
You like to project quite a bit, don't you? It's adorable and I respect that you're trying to figure yourself out, but you're really going about it the wrong way. You won't learn much from me, like that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Maeni
You mean to say that every piece of negativity I'm seeing in your posts is projections and they're not there at all? Alright, mate.
I know the truth hurts, Maeni. It's nothing to get shook up about though.Quote:
Originally Posted by Maeni
That 'white knight' feeling can sometimes become a problem, if that's the only reason you're doing it. I see that often here. Younger people will often offer seats to elderly people. But lately, I've witnessed a few refusals.Quote:
Originally Posted by Athylus
Young person: "Excuse me, would you like to sit down?" [inflective high pitched overly polite voice]
Old person: "No, no that's okay."
Young person: "Are you sure?"
Old person: "Yes, it's okay."
Young person: "Really, I don't mind..."
Near the end you can kind of see the horror building up for the young person. I'm not sure what the reason for the refusals are. I think some elderly people might feel insulted. Like they feel they aren't really that old, are physically fit for their age, and feel like the person offering is telling them they're old and useless.
I wish I could take pictures sometimes of the bus when it's almost full. A few days ago there were 3 seats open, except they were all window seats with people sitting next to them so that no one could get in. And they just stare straight ahead, refusing to look anyone who's forced to stand because there are 'no seats available' in the eye.Quote:
Originally Posted by dutchraptor
I can relate to this a lot. I haven't taken a natural-sciences lab class in a few years, but whenever I did, I had serious problems completing the labs in the given time. It seemed everyone else just filled in the answers right away and knew what to do. Meanwhile, I was usually completely lost. Sometimes, in Chem courses and such, the teacher would do a demonstration in the beginning. I remember always being lost, because I couldn't remember what to do that quickly, and I was usually stuck at the back trying to look over people's shoulders for a view. Then it would take me a long time to read each question, comprehend what it's asking exactly, review the stuff I need to know to answer it, and then finally put the answer into words (that doesn't even include any experimental work). While other people would just seem to know the answer right away. For a long time I thought I was stupid for this. And perhaps I am in a way, but...Quote:
Originally Posted by tommo
I think I'm accepting more and more that I just learn and think differently from most other people in a certain way... I'm not sure how exactly, but it's the only explanation. Because I know that I'm intelligent. There's too much that I'm able to do (given enough time) that others aren't to think otherwise. An oversimplified view of what I think might be happening is that the algorithms my mind uses to figure things out are extremely sophisticated and overly complicated. I have a really organized, calculated way of problem solving that almost always succeeds (if I'm given enough information), but because it's kind of complicated, it takes a long time, so if I'm not given sufficient time I end up looking like I wasn't thinking at all.
Maybe something similar is going on with you. If it is... the best thing you might be able to do is learn to skip over questions you don't know the answers to, and don't overthink it. If you're not sure exactly how something works, let it pass, even though you might feel like you have to think about it until you understand it completely. If you think you can finish what needs to be done without understanding it right away, then ignore it for now and come back to it some other time. For people who want to think in really calculated ways this can be really hard at first... I'm sort of just in the process of trying to take this advice.
Wow, you're an asshole. That look in their faces is probably more of a "I can't believe I'm the same species as this douchebag" face than a "stupid" look. If there is a 10 items or less aisle, then yeah, they should have gone there, but they don't always have one open, and sometimes people just miss them. Some people don't go shopping regularly and aren't even familiar with them... like if your spouse or room mate or parents have always gone shopping for you in the past. So unless you've looked already and are sure there's a 10-items-or-less line that they must have seen and decided not to go into... you have no reason to think they're idiots. You're just judging them for no reason and making life harder for everyone.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rums03
If you're in a really good mood and go out, you'll only notice the good interactions. Everyone will seem friendly. If you're expecting everyone to be shit, they will be. Realistically, I think it just depends on the person. Underneath, everyone is pretty selfish, but there's some 'goodness' in everyone too. Rather than assuming everyone is an awful person, it might be better to just realize that everyone is dealing with their own shit in their lives. One way or another, everyone you meet's perceptions are clouded by their assumptions about the way the world is. And yeah, I agree that usually results in despicable behavior.Quote:
Originally Posted by acatalephobic
I have a new theory that greenhavoc is back.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rums03
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Rant: I feel like absolute shit. And every time I feel this way, I check my file, and see that I last got my period 24 days ago. Almost like... clockwork. The feeling is like when I smoked and hadn't had a cigarette. Or it's almost like caffeine withdrawal... I thought that's what it was, but I drank coffee and still feel this way. And restlessness, like I need to stretch, and obviously an overreaction to thinks. Everything just affects me more. I hate the fact that the kitchen in this house is connected to the TV room, and my parents are always sitting there, the TV not even on. They're just reading or my mom is on her laptop or something, in silence. It's so fucking awkward. I can't stand it, I'm self-conscious of every movement I make. I can't even do guilty midnight binges on food because I get too self-conscious (after smoking this becomes pretty stressful). And I can't prepare food and feel comfortable doing it because my mom is always sitting there. This house is quite huge for 3 people. There's another room the TV could have been. There are several empty rooms my parents could sit. But no, they're always in the kitchen. Ironically I end up eating less healthily, because I don't want to stay in there for the amount of time required to prepare a healthy meal, so I end up grabbing crackers or something.
Rave: There are a lot of snow geese here lately, for some reason, like hundreds, gathered in this field. A couple months ago I saw a Canadian goose among them, but I didn't have a phone at that time so I couldn't take a picture. Well, today, I saw it again. One Canadian goose among the flock of thousands of snow geese, and I took a few pictures as well as video! (If anyone got all the way down to this rave, congratulations on your patience!)
That line made my fucking night. Just putting it out there.Quote:
Originally Posted by sefalik
Also. Got myself a date with one of the guys I ended up kissing last Saturday at Andy's party. Oh my God I'm so happy and exciting and gyreyragtehla!!!! I'm cooking for him and he's a huge fan of bacon so I'm thinking chicken wrapped in bacon with Baked Alaska? Yes? Gah I am so excited. :3
So they have more of a right to get checked out ahead of me because they have less items? How bout I pay their medical bills while I'm at it? You guys can call me names and think whatever you will about my character, much like the person behind me with only a few items who would rather give me a stupid look instead of waiting their turn or go to another line, you can either ignore me or keep at it. An analogy, even.Quote:
Wow, you're an asshole. That look in their faces is probably more of a "I can't believe I'm the same species as this douchebag" face than a "stupid" look. If there is a 10 items or less aisle, then yeah, they should have gone there, but they don't always have one open, and sometimes people just miss them. Some people don't go shopping regularly and aren't even familiar with them... like if your spouse or room mate or parents have always gone shopping for you in the past. So unless you've looked already and are sure there's a 10-items-or-less line that they must have seen and decided not to go into... you have no reason to think they're idiots. You're just judging them for no reason and making life harder for everyone.
Oh yes, the expense of the favor on your part in letting someone pass you in a shopping queue is totally comparable to paying their medical bills.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rums03
You know, I think it's an odd situation, too. I've only ever encountered people offering others to go in front if they have few items. Never have I seen someone with few items request to go in front. I'd never do that myself and I think it's a little dodgy unless you're really in a hurry. It does put the person you're asking in a situation where they can only choose between being a dick or slowing themselves down. There's almost no way you can say no without appearing to be a dick...
That said, it hardly makes any difference so I just don't see why you wouldn't just let them go past. At this point you're almost acting as though you're a victim which is odd when you started out acting like dumbfounding people with rudeness was a hobby of yours, suddenly now it's about your rights over their rights. I don't understand you, it just seems like you're unnecessarily angry at everyone.
EDIT:
This is the week in which my job changes. I'm nervous and not sure how I'll manage. Monday will be regular, but then on Tuesday, the first of April... I'm not good at getting up and being there at 8 AM. A lot more hours and I already sometimes feel like the stress is too much (which makes me feel pathetic), so I don't know... Shit's gonna be hectic.
I live in east Tx and get my fruits and veggies from Walmart, not to say there's anything wrong with Walmart, but someone asking- almost demanding, to go ahead of me in line isn't as odd as it may sound.Quote:
Originally Posted by Maeni
It may seem that way.Quote:
That said, it hardly makes any difference so I just don't see why you wouldn't just let them go past. At this point you're almost acting as though you're a victim which is odd when you started out acting like dumbfounding people with rudeness was a hobby of yours, suddenly now it's about your rights over their rights. I don't understand you, it just seems like you're unnecessarily angry at everyone.